When it rains it really does fucking pour, doesn't it??
not sure why I'm writing this... or posting here or... I dunno. Just feel like writing right now. Always kinda been my own kind of release.
A few months ago, my wife finally talked her father into retiring (he was 67 at the time) and move from Vegas and get out of that dry hot heat and come to FL where he could enjoy his love of fishing. Of course, he came at the hottest time of year and didn't get that chance much.
Sunday before Labor Day, he passed in his sleep (had an enlarged heart...twice the weight of a normal heart), one week after having turned 68. Gone way too soon. And he never really got to go fishing much. My wife's birthday was Sept. 11, we actually had a good night with friends over...needed that. But he got to spend 3 good months with family and see his grandkids every day. A much better summer than him having lived alone in Vegas all summer.
Earlier this week, get an email from high school alma mater. The father of a classmate had passed away.
Also, this week, my Dad was back in the hospital (Sept. 11 of *last* year he'd been diagnosed with a form of lung cancer that had metastasized to a rib and a portion of his spine. The docs then were confident that he didn't need chemo/radiation. It was a slow-growing form, they'd caught it early, only needed medication, etc. Dad had been complaining of breathing problems and fatigue. They drained 1.5L of fluid and then a portion of his lung collapsed. They ran tests to see why it was filling up again (last year, they'd drained 3L! of fluid out). In the scans, they found a small spot on his liver. more tests.
Got a call from my sister last night...the docs think it's spread to his liver and his stomach. Talk is now of hospice care to make him comfortable.
W T F ?!?
how do we go from only needing to take a pill and the cancer should be gone in 2 years to going to it spreading and now maybe looking at end of life care?!
w t m f ?!?
He's only 73...again...way too soon to thinking of this. Esp. w/my family's history. Everyone on my Dad's side and Mom's side has lived well into their 80s, if not to their mid-90s. why is it my Dad taking all these hits?
come on...!!
= new reply since forum marked as read
There is no why and not much in the way of understanding. Just two weeks ago my younger brother died in hospice at the age of 57 of a similar cancer. It sounds like you'll be facing the death of another loved one soon and that's a shitty place to be.
You will have to lean on friends and hang tight to family. Mostly be gentle with both yourself and others who are surely as dazed and confused as you. Don't make bargains with God and blame neither yourself nor anyone else. Your feelings are just that and never "wrong".
For myself I drank a little and laughed some with others who knew and loved him. Tuesday I picked up his ashes and then took him for a ride through many of the most beautiful places in the state (New Hampshire)-places we had ridden motorcycles through together just recently. Soon we will place him with our Mom and Dad.Then Jeff and I will both be at peace.
I carry on because I must-you must also. Behave well and have no regrets. My thoughts will be with you. Cat
In August a friend was taken by ambulance from Asheville to Duke in Durham to be evaluated
for a lung transplant. I went to see her in the hospital on the 20th; she was turned down
for the lung transplant on the 26th and scheduled to return by ambulance to Asheville
on the 31st: she passed on the 30th. This friend was literally gone 10 days after I'd been
to visit her. She was 59. Her family was in shock that it all happened so fast.
Docs are not gods (despite what many of them think!) and sometimes they can be totally wrong
about how fast someone can go or how long someone can fight to stay. If it's at all possible,
drop everything and go now to see your dad.
My heart goes out to you.
and another is on his way out. As we get older, this gets more frequent. So sorry for your loss 
