I had a dream that I was in prison.

[Tobin S.]

However, I was being released. I was in there with a guy who I work with in real life. He was being released at the same time I was. When we got to the next to the last gate out they had coffee and snacks set up for us while we waited for something.

My buddy asks me, "Do you think you are rehabilitated?"

I said, "Yeah, it turns out that I just needed psychiatric care. I didn't need to be in here."

It was kind of a pleasant dream in that I think I was feeling like what a real prisoner would feel like upon being released.


If dreams mean anything, I think the dream is about the past and being released from the mental prison of a brain disease. I have bipolar disorder. I have lived symptom-free now for over twelve years. Psychiatric medication has saved my life and allowed me to live in a normal way as a functional member of society.

It's been a long time since I talked about mental illness in the lounge. I used to do it all the time. I used to post under a different user name. I've been here almost thirteen years. I was diagnosed and started treatment shortly after I signed up for DU. When we got the groups function on DU, I proposed the Mental Health Support group. It has been up and running since November of 2005. After that I didn't post as much on the subject here in the lounge.

I wish I could do more to educate the public about mental illness. I wish I was fearless enough to live my life openly with it. But I am afraid of the repercussions of doing so. I'm afraid that I would be ostracized. I'm afraid I would lose my job. The best I can do is what I'm doing now and also with modest donations to mental health charities and advocates.

Most people suffer with mental illness in silence. They aren't killers. They don't go on rampages. As far as criminal activity goes, they are much more likely to be victims of violent crimes than perpetrators. They just want to feel normal. Be well, friends.

[PasadenaTrudy]

1. Thank you for writing this

Meds have saved me too.

[Tobin S.]

2. Sure thing, Trudy.

[CaliforniaPeggy]

3. I think you're doing great, my dear Tobin!

Setting the good example is a really good thing, and you're doing that. Maybe someday, when you're retired, you can be more open about your life and how you've handled your illness. After setting this excellent example for decades, you would be much freer to take such a position openly.

I am well................and I'm so glad you are too.

[Tobin S.]

4. You are very kind, Peggy.

I think that's a good idea to keep in mind. That is, the idea that after I retire I can be more open about things. Maybe by then I will feel up to writing my second book.

[raccoon]

5. Thanks for posting this.

I'm afraid there is still stigma about mental illness.

[Tobin S.]

6. You're welcome.

I think things have gotten a little better since I've been diagnosed thanks to some big name celebrities coming out about their struggles with mental illness, and also thanks to the efforts of enlightened politicians and mental health advocates. However, the public is still largely ignorant about mental illnesses and that is the cause for the stigma associated with being mentally ill.

The more people know, the more open minded they will be about people like me.

[mnhtnbb]

7. Tobin, I admire that you are open about your challenges.

My husband is a psychiatrist/psychoanalyst. We were sued in 2000 by our neighbors in Lincoln, NE when we started construction on a small
office building on our property--with a permit from the city--where my husband planned to see patients. We were in complete compliance
with city codes. In fact, there were psychologists within a couple of blocks of us who were seeing patients in their home offices.

We lost the law suit (frontier justice and who knew the judge, said our attorney). I got my husband to agree that if we lost, we'd sell the house and move to Chapel Hill. Talk about serendipity! We have been so much better off for the move! I actually was asked--on the witness stand--when questioned during the law suit
if I was afraid for my children to let my husband see patients in an office adjacent to our home.

Well, we moved to Chapel Hill in 2000 and my husband has had his office in our home ever since. My children have done great--now 25 and 29.

[Tobin S.]

8. Thank you.

It just goes to show that the ignorance regarding the issue doesn't just reside with the average Joe. There are many people in positions of power who are hampering progress as well.

It used to be that the thing that made me the most angry about stigma was people who were totally ignorant about mental illness thinking that they knew better than me.

[mnhtnbb]

9. After years of thinking about it, I should have told the attorney (a neighbor) asking me

that question whether I was afraid to have mental health patients around my children, that "no, I was more afraid
to raise my children next to a$$hole Republicans with no understanding of mental health issues or compassion
for their fellow human beings."

[PasadenaTrudy]

10. Bingo! nt

[hunter]

11. Tobin S. is a person of great wisdom and experience. Listen to him.

And be well.

[Tobin S.]

12. And Hunter is a really nice guy. :)

Thank you.