Favorite Mel Brooks lines/dialogue

[kentauros]

[font color="teal"]Spaceballs:[/font]

Barf: They've gone to plaid!


[font color="teal"]Young Frankenstein:[/font]

Frau Blücher: I am Frau Blücher. (horses whinny)

Elizabeth: (singing, while having sex with the monster) Oh, sweet mystery of life at last I've found you! At last, I know the secret of it all!

The Blindman: Wait. Where are you going? I was going to make Espresso.


and so on

[lame54]

1. 'I want that money!!!" - Zero Mostel - The Producers

[Gidney N Cloyd]

2. Some that I use from time to time:

High Anxiety:
Bellhop (Ron Carey) struggling with luggage off camera: "I got it-- I got it-- I ain't got it (thump). I got it-- I got it-- I ain't got it (thump)" etc.

Cloris Leachman: "Those who are late do not get fruit cup."


Blazing Saddles (and I think again in Silent Movie)
"We've got to save our phoney-baloney jobs!"

[surrealAmerican]

3. "Mongo only pawn in game of life."

It gets me every time.

[csziggy]

4. Igor, would you give me a hand with the bags?

It's even better in the bloopers.
Beginning at about 2:00:

[gvstn]

34. Those bloopers were fun.

That whole movie is fun. Loved Mel Brooks back in the day. He would say what would be considered shocking at the time with no remorse.

Why don't I like Trump more?

Oh, yeah , he is not funny--just gross.

[catbyte]

5. "What hump?"

[sarge43]

6. Elizabeth (after sex with the Monster}

"Oh. Where are you going? Oh, you men are all alike. Seven or eight quick ones and then you're out with the boys to boast and brag. YOU BETTER KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT!

Oh...I think I love him."

[DefenseLawyer]

7. Lili Von Shtupp: Would you like another schnitzengruben?

Bart: No, thank you. Fifteen is my limit on schnitzengruben.
Lili Von Shtupp: Well how about a little...
*whispers in his ear*
Bart: Baby, I'm not from Havana!

[malthaussen]

19. Best line in that sequence was actually excised...

... the studio was too chicken to include it even in that movie:

After the "Is it twoo about black men... oh, it's twoo, twoo," line, Bart says "Pardon me, ma'am, but you're sucking on my arm." I wish they'd left that in, it would have brought down the house.

-- Mal

[Initech]

8. Got to have the Robin Hood: Men In Tights song

We're butch!!!

[DFW]

9. Frau Blücher.......

After telling Freddie (in bed with Inga) that his fiancée will be arriving any second:

"I suggest you put on a tie!"

[DFW]

10. From "History of the world, part I:"

The Spanish Inquisition: "Torquemada! Let's face it. You can't torquemada anything!"

The French Revolution: "It's good to be the King!"

[A HERETIC I AM]

18. Where the old man that gets rescued from the dungeon falls flat on his face and says......

"What fool put a carpet on the wall?"

[jakeXT]

21. "It's good to be the King!"

[Wolf Frankula]

11. That's Frankonsteen

"What?"

"My name. It's pronounced Frankonsteen".

I once used that to silence a quack.

Thanks Mel."

Wolf

[Behind the Aegis]

12. "I love double time march!"

So do I!

"Don't get saucy with me, Bernaise!"

"Funny, she doesn't look Druish."

[kentauros]

13. "Hello, mah baby, hello mah honey,

Hello mah ragtime gal,
Send me a kiss by wire,
Baby, my heart's on fire!
If you refuse me, honey, you'll lose me
And you'll be left alone
Oh baby, telephone
and tell me I'm your owwwwwwwwwwn!"

"Check please!"

[sarge43]

22. "Oh no, not again!"

[kentauros]

26. That's still one of my favorite scenes in the whole movie!

Plus, this one:

[sarge43]

30. Reminds me of "Who's on First?"

[Mendocino]

14. What's the matter

Colonel Sanders.......chicken?


Man drink like that and don't eat, He's gonna die
When?


Moses coming down from the mountain-I bring you these fifte... (drops one tablet, it shatters).. these ten commandments.


Fix your boobs Blinken, you look like a bloody Picasso.


Somebody go back and get a shitload full of dimes.

[JesterCS]

16. Wacky weedus, Roman red

I need papyrus, rolling papyrus.

[hobbit709]

17. Candygram for Mongo

[Auggie]

20. "Who ordered the soup?"

Waiter Mel at The Last Supper, History of the World, Part 1.

[Earth Bound Misfit]

23. “Stand-up philosopher” from History of the World Part 1...

Comicus: “I’m a stand-up philosopher. I coalesce the vapors of human existence into a viable and meaningful comprehension.”

Clerk: “Oh, a bullshit artist!”

[jmowreader]

24. Gene Wilder's whole introductory scene in Blazing Saddles was wonderful

"The drunk in Number Two must be awake!"

"Are we awake?"
'We are not sure. Are we...black?'
"Yes, we are."
'Then we're awake, but we're very puzzled.'

"Well, Jim...since you are my guest, and I am your host, what are your pleasures? What do you like to do?"
'Oh, I don't know...play chess...screw...'
"Wel, let's play chess."

Then there's...

"LePetomane Thruway? Now what'll that asshole think of next?"

"We shall now read from the books of Matthew, Mark, Luke and Duck!"

(Said in extremely heavy Irish accent) "We'll give some land to the (blacks and Chinese), but we don't want the Irish!"

"Now, I don't have to tell you good folks what has been happening here in our beloved little town. Sheriff murdered, crops burned, stores looted, people stampeded and cattle raped."

And no Mel Brooks compilation would be complete without:

"I want you to round up every vicious criminal and gunslinger in the west. Take this down: I want rustlers, cut throats, murderers, bounty hunters, desperados, mugs, pugs, thugs, nitwits, halfwits, dimwits, vipers, snipers, con men, Indian agents, Mexican bandits, muggers, buggerers, bushwhackers, hornswogglers, horse thieves, bull dykes, train robbers, bank robbers, ass-kickers, shit-kickers and Methodists!"

[kentauros]

25. "Ditto!"

[valerief]

28. The end of the movie was pretty great, too.

[valerief]

27. From Life Stinks--Sailor: Pops ain't gonna be around long; his 'elevens' are up.

Goddard Bolt: What?
Sailor: His elevens! Look at the back of his neck. You see them two cords, stickin' out? They make, like, an 'eleven'. Once they're up that's it. He's a goner.

[DinahMoeHum]

29. ". . .unlike some Robin Hoods, I can speak with an English accent."

- from Robin Hood: Men In Tights

It was an obvious dig at Kevin Costner, the RH of Robin Hood, Prince of Thieves who spoke with an American accent.

[pokerfan]

31. What did you expect?

What did you expect? Welcome, sonny? Make yourself at home? Marry my daughter? You've got to remember that these are just simple farmers. These are people of the land. The common clay of the new West. You know... morons.

[Duppers]

38. That's mine!

[Iggo]

32. "Stay close the ze candles. Ze stairvay can be...treacherous."

And of course...

"He vas my BOYFRIEND!"

[NewJeffCT]

33. Abby Someone

Abby...Normal?

Frankenstein, "Abby Normal?"

Igor, "Yes, I'm almost certain that was the name."

"You're telling me I put an abnormal brain into an 8 foot tall 54 inch wide Gorilla????"

(proceeds to choke Igor)

[kentauros]

35. "Give him a sedagive!"

"Sedagive?!"

[Iggo]

36. And you won't be angry?

[Americananuck]

37. Mel to Stripper Madeline Kahn in Silent Movie

"Marry me and you'll never have to take your clothes off again!"

[Duppers]

39. Great one!