Is there a hashtag #ShitMyHusbandSays ? Because there ought to be.

[Nuclear Unicorn]

I'm pretty sure "duvet" is French for "we're not selling enough bedspreads."

[yewberry]

1. Are we married to the same person?

Last week: "You know what would be a really bad super-power? Excreting yogurt, like through the pores."

[fizzgig]

2. i make regular fb posts about the shit my husband says

like the time he suggested sticking a dead mouse in a hamster ball and selling it on ebay

[femmocrat]

3. Kick

This should be pretty funny!

[OriginalGeek]

4. Speaking as a husband I can assure you that everything I say

is perfectly reasonable when I say it. In my head.

[Beaverhausen]

5. "I swear I already looked there"

[Still Blue in PDX]

6. It's not nip it in the bud; it's nip it in the butt! nt

[Scuba]

7. "These maps are both different."

[pinboy3niner]

8. "You're doomed if you do and doomed if you don't."

One of my ex-wife's quotes that cracked me up.

[Nuclear Unicorn]

9. "When one person walks in on another person using the bathroom

"who do you feel most sorry for?"

[clarice]

10. "Did you know that dogs always poop in a North South direction"....WHAT ?????

[Laffy Kat]

12. Um, I think they do do do facing north.

Watch your dog do for a while.

[Nuclear Unicorn]

11. We were discussing going to the Renaissance Fair when he says

I want a t-shirt that says, "Lute-ers will be shot" and you can have one that says, "Having my minstrel cycle."

[NJCher]

13. Well, in my case, it was s$#t my husband didn't say

He came home unexpectedly and I was giving my hair a hot oil treatment. This involved wearing a pink cap that put out a low current, generating warmth to let the conditioner penetrate the hair. The pink cap had a cord. I was giving myself this hair treatment while lying on the bed, reading magazines.

Did I mention he's got a razor sharp wit?

When he walked in, I said, "Do not say a thing. Do not say an effing word."

He kept a straight face, nodded, and went to the kitchen to start dinner.

Hair treatment finished, I went to the kitchen to help. He was wearing a metal colander on his head and did not even crack a smile.


Cher

[irisblue]

14. keep him.