I've come to dislike and even hate a lot of people.

[retrowire]

I'm 28 going on 29 and with bipolar disorder, this only gets more fun.

I cannot go furniture shopping without being highly irritated and uncomfortable by salespeople. My wife has told me I even show it without realizing it. I avoid them, I give off tense and aggressive body language. When I do talk to them it is with assertive eye contact and a tact not unlike one you'd expect from an angry bull.

What has become of me? I used to be such a lover of my fellow people. Now I seem to want nothing to do with them. I see them all as a threat. I don't trust anyone. I think the worst of people.

I'm becoming a hateful curmudgeon. I don't want to be this way but somehow I am this way.

Fuck.

[Phoenix61]

1. Bipolar can be a bear

Not sure if this will help but it is a great self-help resource put out by the Australian government.
http://www.cci.health.wa.gov.au/resources/consumers.cfm

Check out the one called "Keeping Your Balance"

[d_r]

2. dude furniture sales people

God love them, but they are the worst.

[surrealAmerican]

3. Maybe you should avoid furniture shopping?

It's hardly an everyday occurrence, and apparently really pushes your buttons.

[JudyM]

4. A bipolar friend of mine swears she's controlling it by diet. Mostly by sticking to gluten-free.

In case you want to look into that...? Also she tries to eat generally healthy, avoiding sugar, etc.

I get pissed at furniture salespeople, too. And guys who crowd me. And people who hog the passing lane without passing. And...

[Kimchijeon]

5. It's tough. ..

I feel at my core, just peaceful love and general zenlike idgaf, but there are times when I get an inexplicable bitchy moodswing for no apparent reason... it helps to be aware of it and recognize it. .. sometimes situations do call for crotchety behavior though lol

[True Dough]

6. Tobin just recently posted this thread

http://www.democraticunderground.com/1018924001

It made me think of your situation. Two guys in different places. I'm sure your bi-polar diagnosis plays a role. I'm no expert. But there are also periods in life where you generally feel more content, more frustration, more reflective. You posted recently about barely being able to finish your day at work because you were so angry. I don't know if that's routine or it was just a bad day. But if you hate your job, that dissatisfaction can carry over into other aspects of your life.

Anyway, I don't know if Tobin's suggestion of having a doobie is a good idea in your case but you might catch his overall vibe somewhere down the road. There are highs and lows. Do the best you can and carry on.

[retrowire]

7. A foodie would be desirable buy

I have an addictive personality and have had my life adversely affected by weed.

I'm sure it would be fine for me in moderation but, I've proven to myself that my self control is not up to par for that.

[MedusaX]

8. One possibility...

30 mg Adderall 3x day

It is not a cure...
but does allow for a minimal increase in ability/desire to subject oneself to the pain of interacting w/others...
and allows one to do so without fear of Unintentionally turning others into stone....

[Phentex]

9. When I was young, I thought it was an old people thing...

but as I have gotten older I think it's an ANYONE thing. There are times when I have less patience with people (because MY time is valuable too!) and there are times when I have WAY more patience with people (because so many little things just don't matter).

I hope you can find a way to ease your troubled mind if you find it's causing you to have a black cloud hang over your head.