My last remaining grandparent, my mom's mom, is 92.
She is unable to care for herself now and lives with my mom and step-dad. I was there yesterday celebrating Mother's Day. My grandma appeared to be in good spirits, but I know that is not always the case now days. She was happy to be around her family. Her other daughter was there with my uncle and my sisters were there with their children. We had a good time.
But, yeah, we all know that grandma doesn't have much time left. She seems to be letting go of worldly matters and is just spending her time being present in the moment. Things are just kind of falling away from her. She won't wear her glasses or her teeth anymore. She was good with money her entire life and acquired a nice nest egg for herself as an independent woman at a time in our history when there weren't as many of those. However, she is unconcerned with money now days. When we are with her she mainly just sits and takes it all in. She talks very little now.
I've never known my grandma to be a spiritual person. I've never heard her talk about religion one way or the other. She's never gone to church. My whole family on my mom's side is kind of like that. My mom has told me on a couple of occasions that she personally believes in an afterlife, but not in any organized religion. I guess she sort of has a home-made philosophy regarding that. What she thinks is going to happen after death is what will happen. It seems to be based on her own personal perception and not anything she has gathered from any religion. I don't even know that much about my grandma's beliefs. I seriously mean that I have never heard her speak a word about it.
My own religious views are also ambiguous, but I study religion and talk a great deal about it with my wife and her relatives and also online. I think I have a good idea now for the proper foundation of living a spiritual lifestyle, and it has taken me a long time to get to this point. While still agnostic about a lot of things, I can say that I do have at least one spiritual belief now: compassion for humankind. That includes every person on the planet, no exceptions.
I do my best to live up to that ideal, although I do fail sometimes. However, I see the failures as learning experiences. Compassion for everyone includes compassion for myself. That alone is a revolutionary view in my psyche. I used to have a real problem with self-loathing, but that is no longer the case and I'm getting better every day.
What does that have to do with grandma? I'm off today as well. I've been reading a lot of books and articles about living your life from a loving perspective. I'm going to read to grandma tomorrow from a few selected sources and see what she has to say about it. Outwardly, she has always been a peaceful person, although she is clearly struggling right now with her predicament. This is a woman who remembers the Great Depression, FDR and Truman, WWII, the civil rights era, and cultural revolution. She has outlived two husbands and provided for herself in a culture that has been hostile to women. But she has never talked about any of that or how that has impacted her personal beliefs. It will be interesting to see if she is on-board with my new outlook. I know she is somewhat distressed now days and I'm also hoping that I can bring her some degree of peace.
= new reply since forum marked as read
and she'll feel your love and caring and respect for her.
I'd love it if I could have a memory like that with my beloved grandmother, but she died when I was only 8.
