The old man across the road died- this isn't a lighthearted topic, but I didn't know where to put it

[luvMIdog]

For years before he died things were falling apart over there. He was very old and had let things go. His dogs were breeding and breeding and at one time I swear he must have had 21 dogs over there. They were even beginning to chase his two old horses around and nip at them which was really pissing me off & I made calls all to no avail. His house was being eaten up by the trees and landscape that was just overtaking it and all you could see was the roof and top window on the second story ( at least I think that is a second story unless that is an attic window. Anyway, no one ever came to check on him EVER. I knew he died when I noticed he was never checking his mailbox anymore.
Now he's dead and guess what? His family has found time to come to his house at last. They are clearing the overgrowth and hauling stuff off so they can sell it. Yep they finally made time to visit his house.

edited to add: After reading posts below I realize I've been judgmental. I just always thought they should at least help him clean the yard around his house a little bit and check on him, but as some have pointed out I didn't ever hear his family's side of the story. True.

[Warpy]

1. Please remember you don't know the whole story

Nothing is messier than family dynamics.

[furtheradu]

2. Don't know what to say..

Thank You for sharing this.
We just don't know what the real story is, or was.
So many times we think we do, but don't.

[greymattermom]

3. Depression can drive family members away.

My husband has this disease, and that's how he behaves, except that he's in assisted living. He doesn't shave and only showers when his caregivers insist on it. Sometimes the family tries to help for years. It's not always their fault.

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

4. Did you or other neighbors visit or offer to help?

[luvMIdog]

6. I tried several times to visit him but as I said he had a huge pack of giant dogs and I couldn't

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

7. That would certainly be a problem.

I hope someone took care of his dogs after he was gone.

[luvMIdog]

8. they kind of vanished a few months before he died all at once. I don't know why or how

[sarge43]

15. Could be the reason his family didn't show up. n/t

[luvMIdog]

16. if they couldn't call him definitely those dogs were really mean & more or less feral

[sarge43]

17. That's the saddest part of your story

Adults for the most part choose the way they live. Children and owned animals can't.

[luvMIdog]

18. I called and called about those dogs we don't have animal control out here :(

[sarge43]

19. You tried. Respect. n/t

[redstatebluegirl]

5. I have to say, my MIL died recently, the kids hated her, but they did take care of her in the end.

My husband served as her POA and made sure there was enough money to take care of her in the end. Do not judge, he might have been a horrible father, like my MOI was a horrible mother. Everyone reacts differently. Thankfully there was enough money to take care of my MOI in the end, there will be a few thousand dollars to go to the 5 kids.

[Heartstrings]

9. No matter what the situation was that led up to this....

it's still very sad to have your life deteriorate and end that way.

RIP Mr. Neighbor......

[luvMIdog]

10. yeah it just struck me as sad to end up all alone

[politicat]

11. Maybe you'd be saying the same about me.

My parents moved me across the continent from my grandmother when I was a child. I had no choice in that. I made my life here in the west, not in the Rustbelt. My grandmother stayed.

A few years ago, she started having problems and I found out she designated me as her responsible party (without consulting me in advance, because why would anyone ask if someone wants to be responsible?). I could have left her on her own. I didn't. There was no way I could move to her, and nobody else could/would be responsible for her, so I moved her to me. We sold most of the farmland to our farm manager (who has been farming it all of my life) to pay for the professional care she needed. But we couldn't then sell the house because she'd become a hoarder, and I could either take care of her, or deal with the house, and she was alive. She alienated most of her other relatives, and nobody lived nearby anymore.

Yeah, her house is deteriorating, because until she died, I couldn't risk spending her money on anything but her care. Now she's gone, and I'm trying to manage estate sales, house renovation and a real estate sale from 1500 miles away. It's really hard, and it would be about 1000% harder if I had children. Then there's the side that the house isn't worth saving, because it's far past end of useful life, and where it's located is losing population so very fast that nobody wants or needs a late Victorian farmhouse with a 1970's horror of an overlay, but there are people in the family who have sentimental feelings, yet aren't willing to put any skin (money, time, effort) in the game of saving it. So renovation/demolition waits while I have to listen to these nosy parkers fight their shit out.

Thank you for realizing you've been judgemental. But the context of family history is never easy.

[luvMIdog]

12. gee now I just feel like an ass LOL, but thanks for the interesting story & better perspective

[politicat]

13. No... And you may be right.

The family may be complete assholes. Gods know, my blood relatives are.

I'm just saying everything is complicated.

[luvMIdog]

14. yes, I actually shown have thought about it more. There are people on my step moms side that were

evil and I would not spend a dime of gas to go to their funeral. That old man could have been really mean & I didn't even consider that.