Things that keep me up at night...

[First Speaker]

...Who arrived first--Car 54 or Scooby-Doo?

...Did the Earl of Oxford write Bacon's essays?

...Where *was* the rest of Ronald Reagan?

...Whatever happened to the Byzantine Empire?

...Were the Wars of the Roses inevitable?

...If Kayzer Soze invented the whole thing...then who invented him?

...Where are our flying cars?

...Was it actually Vaughan Meader who was assassinated in 1963?

...these, and many other questions, constantly nag at me. I really need to get a life...

[True Dough]

1. How in the heck

can food manufactures tell you with such precision exactly when something will expire or be past its "best before" date? I've noticed packages with dates like May 23, 2018. So it will be fine on May 22, but on May 23 something magically is "off"?!?

[First Speaker]

2. Hey--if they can predict the half-life of radioactive isotopes so precisely...

...then "they" can do this. And we can trust everything they tell us, can't we...?

[PoindexterOglethorpe]

3. More to the point,

where IS car 54?

[lastlib]

4. Oh, by the way, which one WAS Pink??!?

The band is just fantastic, that is REALLY what I think......

[longship]

5. What kind of cop is named Schnauzer?

I remember this to this day:

There's a holdup in the Bronx.
Brooklyn's broken out in fight.
There's a traffic jam in Harlem
That's backed up to Jackson Heights.
There's a scout troop short a child.
Khrushchev's due at Idlewild.
Car 54, where are you?

There's an ear worm for you.
Enjoy it.

My favorite episode, Boom, Boom, Boom:

It's true lunacy.