Some Socialist marxist jokes

[Ichingcarpenter]

How many Marxists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None. The bulb contains the seed of its own revolution.

Why do communists prefer C to C++?
They believe in a classless society.


Capitalism is where you buy a pizza and sell the slices to your friends for profit. Socialism is where you and your friends chip in for a pizza and split it. Communism is where you are force to eat pizza when you wanted a hamburger.


Sorry... I will not do old Soviet jokes

[TBF]

1. Dunno about the others in this group but I am not amused. nt

[freshwest]

2. Liked the first, and especially the third.

[Ichingcarpenter]

3. Number 2 is a geek joke

But you need to be programmed to understand it.

[freshwest]

4. I got it, it just wasn't as funny as the others.

[socialist_n_TN]

5. RE: three........

Wouldn't pizza be better than nothing?

[TBF]

6. That's the one I didn't like.

It is derogatory towards communism and I didn't find that funny.

[white_wolf]

7. Well that depends.

I mean it it's from Dominoes you'd probably be better off skipping a meal, that is the worst pizza ever.

[joshcryer]

8. Better ones:

Lenin is dying, and talking things over with Stalin, his successor.
"The one worry I have," says Lenin, "is this: will the people follow you? What do you think, comrade Stalin?"
"They will," says Stalin, "they surely will."
"I hope so," says Lenin, "but what if they don't follow you?"
"No problem," says Stalin, "then they'll follow you."

And a classic:

A little boy goes to his Dad and asks, "What is politics?"

Dad says, "Well, son, let me try to explain it this way: I'm the breadwinner of the family, so let's call me Capitalism. Your Mom, she's the administrator of the money, so we'll call her the Government. We're here to take care of your needs, so we'll call you the People. The nanny, we'll consider her the Working Class. And your baby brother, we'll call him the Future. Now, think about that and see if that makes sense."

So the little boy goes off to bed thinking about what Dad has said.

Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying, so he gets up to check on him. He finds that the baby has soiled his diaper, so the little boy goes to his parents' room and finds his mother sound asleep.

Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the nanny's room. Finding the door locked, he peeks in the keyhole and sees his father in bed with the nanny. He gives up and goes back to bed.

The next morning, the little boy says to his father, "Dad, I think I understand the concept of politics now."

The father says, "Good, son, tell me in your own words what you think politics is all about."

The little boy replies, "Well, while Capitalism is screwing the Working Class, the Government is sound asleep, the People are being ignored, and the Future is in Deep Shit."

[Ichingcarpenter]

9. Great Joke the second one

I'm sending to my brother.

[TBF]

10. I agree - that was funny! nt

[socialist_n_TN]

11. It might have been a classic, but I've never heard either one.........

That second one was hilarious.