From my Campaign Website: Everywhere around the world, they're looking at America

[AZLD4Candidate]

Please reflect on the photo above. As my wife and I work through the Green Card process to get her here, I am drawn to this picture. Look at it. In Cuba. In Iran. In Venezuela. In Hong Kong. People marching and protesting for democracy, voting, freedom, and opportunity. Look at the symbol they used. Look at the one symbol worldwide that represents the things people in four places are protesting.

They are using us. Our example. Our freedoms. Our system. We, as Americans, represent the best of what the world has to offer. We stumble, we fall, and sometimes we fail miserably to live up to the expectation the world sees in us and we see in ourselves. We aren't perfect, though we do air our dirty laundry for the world to see.

https://katzforhouse.org/2021/07/25/10-everywhere-around-the-world-theyre-looking-at-america/

[Hugh_Lebowski]

1. I don't think this reads in the way you mean it to

"Look at the one symbol worldwide that represents the things people in four places are protesting".

I know you clarify later, but you know how the other side loves to quotes things out of context. Might want to jigger the language there a bit, if it's on your site, exposed to the world.

[AZLD4Candidate]

2. agreed.

Look now.

[Hugh_Lebowski]

3. Now it has a grammatical problem but is getting better :) nt

[AZLD4Candidate]

5. This is what happens when a writer (me) has an idea and writes something as punchy as I am

Things get lost from brain to fingers.

[Hugh_Lebowski]

4. While you're in doing edits ...

That one paragraph basically make 4 requests of the reader to look at the picture.

Reflect, Look, Look, Look.

Comes off as both redundant, and a bit 'demanding' of the reader, esp. when the photos make the common thread very obvious in the first place ... just trying to be helpful

[AZLD4Candidate]

7. Anything about the message?

[femmedem]

6. One more edit, a typo, 3rd sentence: "thew" world instead of the world.

But it's a terrific campaign page. I like how you tied your personal history to world events. Good luck!