UPDATED! I need help with something please

[TalenaGor]

Last edited Thu Jul 15, 2021, 02:16 PM - Edit history (1)

***Seems like a self resolving problem! This morning she received a call that her SSI had been approved! They will be sending her a debit card and will pay nearly a year of back pay! Shes not getting much, 465/mo, and they will take back child support out of that so she'll actually get about 300/mo but she also has food stamps, with this she should be able to pay off her fines, get her license back and maybe even get a car which means she can work a bit to fill in the gaps!! There's light at the end of the tunnel! Thanks all!

This is going to be a long story please forgive me for that....

3 years ago I hired a woman to clean my house twice a month, she was fully licensed and had been working for herself for some time.... She did a great job so I've always kept her.

During that first year, I recall her talking about losing her house, at the time we were merely cordial at best and it seemed like she had a plan and had a handle on it so I wasn't too concerned... Shortly after that we bought a house and moved and we lost touch with her for several months. Then one day she reached out and said if I still need somebody to clean and I rehired her.

As I've gotten to know her better I learned that she's been homeless for a very long time, and that when she lost her house it was quite a while ago not recent like I had thought...

I've kept her employed because she very much needed the money and she did a great job I figured it was the least I could do and when a room opened up in my house last November, I couldn't stand the idea of her spending another winter outside...I offered the room to her and we worked out a deal where I still paid her for the twice a month cleanings but she keeps up the dishes kitchen and whatnot in between cleanings for free and exchange for the room. I wanted to give her the opportunity to get back on her feet, and I just couldn't live with myself knowing that I could have done something to help but did not....homelessness is an issue very dear to my heart because my brother was homeless for 11 years (he also now lives with me.)

Mental health is also another issue that is dear to my heart because my brother and my husband both have serious mental health issues, My mother had depression and anxiety and I also have anxiety... So soon after this woman moved in with me it became very apparent that she was also having severe behavioral health issues. She did Tell me once that she had been diagnosed as paranoid schizophrenic but she also coupled that with 'they don't know what they're talking about I'm not crazy'

She's very much in denial and refuses any medication she's scared of becoming addicted she's scared that they won't work and she's partially paranoid that people are just trying to drug her up. Everyday she hears voices and she believes people are hunting her, she thinks she has a microchip in her leg etc...she is truly a tortured soul and it breaks my heart to see her going through that. She is clean and sober and has been for a very long time. She was very often come upstairs screaming and angry about what "they" said or how "they" are going to pay etc.... She's angry about people who have wronged her 5 to 10 years ago as if it just happened yesterday...

She also underwent 6 weeks of radiation for throat cancer since she has been living here, that was fortunately successful.

I do everything I can to help her I've bought her decorations for her room, I drive her everywhere I can and when I can't I pay for Lyft rides... Upwards of several hundred dollars a month to help her get the things she needs done..

She's trying to get social security, permanent housing etc but she's reaching dead ends everywhere..... I suspect it's at least partially if not completely because when she fills out paperwork and has interviews for these sort of things she denies that has paranoid schizophrenia, she thinks that diagnosis is just because somebody wanted to lock her up...

She has four children three of whom are adults, but I don't feel like I should reach out to them for help because according to her they are also being hunted so I have no idea if they are suffering from the same struggles as she is or not and I'm not confident that it would be helpful.


Recently the episodes with her have become worse, and I'm realizing that this arrangement is not sustainable. Yesterday was a very bad day...

I am hoping that somewhere in Washington State there is some sort of advocacy group or free attorneys or something that can help her get some of this social safety net set up for her because whatever she is doing doesn't appear to be working.... It seems like what she really needs is one case worker that could help her get everything set up but I'm not even sure if something like that exists...

Are any of you aware of any kind of all-encompassing advocacy or caseworker type organizations that can truly help someone get set up and back on their feet?

[SheltieLover]

1. Try calling the health dept & hospital social workers for referrals.

You are very kind to have helped her so much!

She needs professional help that you cannot provide & her illness makes her resistant to your urges to take meds or get help.

I don't mean to stigmatize mental health issues, but this could potentially become a dangerous situation. Who knows what the voices in her head are telling her? Presuming she is having auditory hallucinations.

In my experience as a mental health professional for many years, the voices never tell the afflicted anything positive.

I would suggest you not mention to her that you are looking for professional help for her because the voices might begin to perceive you as a threat.

[cbabe]

2. Your compassion

is something wondrous.

In Seattle, call 211 for agencies.

Call local church for referrals.

Call your state rep. Some are truly great at helping.

Think about legal issues you may have as she sounds like a defacto tenant.

Call Harborview/UW for info/referrals.

Mental illness help is terribly underfunded. Be patient and persistent. Know your goals and timeline. Be safe.

[Goonch]

3. Find Immediate Assistance

https://www.samhsa.gov/homelessness-programs-resources/grant-programs-services/path-program/immediate-assistance

[wryter2000]

4. It sounds like she really is schizophrenic

I'm not an expert, but I did deal with a bipolar husband. If she doesn't get her hallucinations under control, she's not likely to be able to take care of herself and get help.

My husband had to take meds for a long time. If he didn't, he went nuts and was impossible to deal with. Luckily, he wasn't too destructive, but he did spend every cent we had one day.

The meds for bipolar are quite good. I was lucky. The meds for schizophrenia can have unpleasant side effects, so she's not crazy not to want to take them, but there may be no choice.

I would strongly suggest that you include some consultation with a mental health professional in your search for help. In her current state, she may not be any condition to take other sorts of help.

[erronis]

5. I wish you the best of luck. You tried and tried hard. Sometimes it just can't help.

But you need to take care of yourself first.

[TalenaGor]

6. thank you all so much - I will try all of these!!

[mopinko]

7. i'd contact the kids.

maybe she's right about them but who knows.
the word 'hunted' sorta jumps out here.

[2naSalit]

8. There might be a clinic that has advocates for some of her needs.

I had an advocate and therapist when I was homeless, they helped me apply for and get SSDI and helped me navigate the system all along the way. There are people out there, I don't live in WA but there must be something.