Voters surrender to their inner bastard
MILLIONS of voters have admitted they are bastards who just want money.
Following a close-fought election campaign, the electorate decided the prospect of having money was better than the prospect of not having it.
Tom Booker, from Southampton, said: I like money. I like how it feels in my hands. Labour had some lovely things to say about society, but I dont actually care about any of that because its not money.
I promise I will do nice things with some of the money. Ill buy Ed Milibands autobiography even though Im going to put it straight in the bin.
Emma Bradford, from Peterborough, said: They say that politics is ultimately about the economy. And the reason they say that is because its fucking obvious.
Electoral analyst Carolyn Ryan said: It seems that voters attuned to seeing through politicians lies looked in the mirror and could no longer believe in their own.
Socialism is great in theory, but in practice its a massive a ball-ache.
http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/politics/politics-headlines/voters-surrender-to-their-inner-bastard-2015050898124