Florida man hides sausage in pants. (The *edible* kind, people. Get your minds out of the gutter!)

[UrbScotty]

A 42-year-old Fort Walton Beach man is accused of hiding a pack of sausages in his pants.

Fort Walton Beach Police officers were called for the theft on Oct. 7, according to the arrest report. Two managers at Publix Supermarket reported seeing James Michael Patterson take a pack of sausages from the shelf, walk to another aisle and “shove the package down his pants.”

Patterson had previously been trespassed from Publix on Oct. 3, the report said. One of the managers recognized him and called police before the theft for the trespassing.

The managers said that after Patterson concealed the sausages, he continued walking through the store, according to the report. When officers located Patterson, he was carrying a case of soda.

http://www.nwfdailynews.com/local/crime/police-blotters/man-charged-with-hiding-sausage-in-pants-1.386895

[Blue Owl]

1. Time to update his LinkedIn profile

n/t

[Hoppy]

2. I feel sorry for him. Guys like me who don't need a codpiece,

are always making fun of less endowed studs. Don'tja understand its a form of bullying?

[shenmue]

3. Maybe he was just happy to see you

[Initech]

4. I'm really tempted to make a "That's what she said" joke here. ..

But in the interest of good taste, i won't.

[Javaman]

5. So....I guess he wasn't glad to see them...