Mon Oct 7, 2013, 03:58 PM
lumberjack_jeff (33,224 posts)
Guys: How many of you have experience as a stay-at-home dad?
Kind of a three-part question.
It seems to me that the essential questions are: 1) are those who are in a position to consider that a realistic choice privileged? 2) do cultural norms/policy/institutions act to discourage men from making that choice?
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16 replies, 5133 views
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Author | Time | Post |
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lumberjack_jeff | Oct 2013 | OP |
Warren DeMontague | Oct 2013 | #1 | |
lumberjack_jeff | Oct 2013 | #3 | |
Behind the Aegis | Oct 2013 | #2 | |
lumberjack_jeff | Oct 2013 | #4 | |
Post removed | Oct 2013 | #5 | |
lumberjack_jeff | Oct 2013 | #6 | |
Denninmi | Oct 2013 | #7 | |
Hayabusa | Oct 2013 | #8 | |
Warren DeMontague | Oct 2013 | #9 | |
lumberjack_jeff | Oct 2013 | #10 | |
Turborama | Oct 2013 | #11 | |
Major Nikon | Oct 2013 | #12 | |
PeteSelman | Oct 2013 | #13 | |
ElboRuum | Oct 2013 | #14 | |
ozley62 | Oct 2013 | #15 | |
lumberjack_jeff | Oct 2013 | #16 |
Response to lumberjack_jeff (Original post)
Mon Oct 7, 2013, 04:03 PM
Warren DeMontague (80,708 posts)
1. before I answer it, the poll seems to be having some kind of a formatting issue.
Might be one for ATA.
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Response to Warren DeMontague (Reply #1)
Mon Oct 7, 2013, 04:10 PM
lumberjack_jeff (33,224 posts)
3. It was messed up when I originally posted it but it appears fixed now.
google chrome
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Response to lumberjack_jeff (Original post)
Mon Oct 7, 2013, 04:06 PM
Behind the Aegis (51,506 posts)
2. I am a guy, but I don't have children.
"do cultural norms/policy/institutions act to discourage men from making that choice?"
Yes, especially cultural norms. I wonder what stats say about re-entering the workforce after being a stay-at-home parent. |
Response to Behind the Aegis (Reply #2)
Mon Oct 7, 2013, 04:14 PM
lumberjack_jeff (33,224 posts)
4. My vector for reentering the workforce was unconventional
Sending out resumes? Fuhgeddaboudit! No one wants a guy whose first priority isn't the job, not even former employers.
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Response to lumberjack_jeff (Reply #4)
Post removed
Response to Post removed (Reply #5)
Mon Oct 7, 2013, 04:18 PM
lumberjack_jeff (33,224 posts)
6. Please rephrase your post.
Thanks.
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Response to lumberjack_jeff (Reply #6)
Mon Oct 7, 2013, 04:22 PM
Denninmi (6,581 posts)
7. That can't end well.
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Response to lumberjack_jeff (Reply #6)
Mon Oct 7, 2013, 04:46 PM
Hayabusa (2,135 posts)
8. Wow, that was hateful.
On both ends. Especially your retelling of it.
EDIT: To his post, not yours. |
Response to lumberjack_jeff (Original post)
Mon Oct 7, 2013, 05:15 PM
Warren DeMontague (80,708 posts)
9. I voted "harder", although I think in some ways at some times, easier, some ways harder, some ways
just different.
The things that are hard are not always the same things, and as such not always easy to plug into a straight 1-1 comparison. |
Response to Warren DeMontague (Reply #9)
Mon Oct 7, 2013, 05:39 PM
lumberjack_jeff (33,224 posts)
10. It may have been rewarding enough that it didn't seem as difficult as work. n/t
Response to lumberjack_jeff (Original post)
Mon Oct 7, 2013, 08:24 PM
Turborama (22,109 posts)
11. I have been doing it since my daughter was born 2 years ago.
I'm not sure I would call it a "privilege", for us it was a decision we made from the very start. Due to the circumstances we are in we had no choice. If we were going to have a child I would have to be the stay at home parent. A responsibility I was/am more than happy to take on.
As for the poll question, it is hard and can be difficult but it is the most rewarding time I have spent in my life (I don't like to call it a "job" or "work" ![]() |
Response to lumberjack_jeff (Original post)
Tue Oct 8, 2013, 12:59 AM
Major Nikon (36,137 posts)
12. Whenever my 2nd child was born I was able to take some time off work thanks to the FMLA
It only amounted to a few weeks. I just remember wishing it was longer.
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Response to lumberjack_jeff (Original post)
Mon Oct 14, 2013, 07:40 PM
PeteSelman (1,508 posts)
13. I was a young parent.
I almost certainly would not have been able to handle it. Fuck it, take out the almost. There is no way I would have been able to handle it. At 23 I was still into running around and partying all night. Luckily, my wife was very mature for her age and the kids were taken care of perfectly. My mom and dad helped a lot too.
I would not have found it to be a privilege and I know it wasn't easy. I'll take the day job any day. |
Response to lumberjack_jeff (Original post)
Mon Oct 14, 2013, 10:22 PM
ElboRuum (4,717 posts)
14. I am a guy and I like answering polls.
For some reason, this option was not there.
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Response to lumberjack_jeff (Original post)
Sat Oct 19, 2013, 07:12 PM
ozley62 (2 posts)
15. Stay at home dad
It wasn't something I wanted, 2 blown knees & a bad back made the choice for me. I'm not a religious person, but I believe sometimes things happen for a reason. My son has autism & was mistreated at a daycare & by a few private sitters we had left him with, my getting hurt on the job was a blessing as far as me being able to stay home & take care of him myself. I love my son & he's worth the pain I go through every day to be with him. A lot of people see us as 2 deadbeats sucking off the government tit, but neither of us ask to be handicapped . And I spent 2/3 of my adult life working away from home & my family as a soldier & a merchant marine. I feel I've more than paid my dues. Sorry, got on my screw the republican soapbox for a minute!
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Response to ozley62 (Reply #15)
Sat Oct 19, 2013, 11:54 PM
lumberjack_jeff (33,224 posts)
16. He's lucky you're there for him.
Actually, we're all a little better off that you're there for him.
Very similar stories here, autism and all. Drop me an DU mail if you want to talk about it. ... and welcome to DU! ![]() |