Top Fifty Myths About Being Transgender

[WillParkinson]

Top 50 Myths About Being Transgender:

1. Being transgender is a choice.
2. Gender and sexuality are the same thing.
3. All trans people are men in dresses.
4. Trans people can't have families.
5. Trans people are just transvestites.
6. All trans people are really gay.
7. All trans men are butch/extremely masculine and all trans women are extremely feminine.
8. All trans women have breast implants.
9. Trans women are all sex workers.
10. Trans women transition just to have access to more sex partners.
11. All trans people are male-to-female; female-to-male trans people don't exist.
12. All trans people want surgery.
13. You aren't a real trans person if you don't want surgery.
14. Being a trans person is extremely rare (see Prevalence).
15. You aren't really a trans person until you start HRT.
16. All trans people are sex addicts.
17. All trans people are interested in sex.
18. Trans women transition because they weren't successful as a male.
19. Trans men transition because they weren't successful as a female.
20. Trans women want equality just so they can sneak into women's bathrooms or other women's-only areas.
21. If you don't feel like your gender was wrong from a very early age, you aren't a real trans person.
22. It's always just a phase. It can be cured by religion, drugs, peer pressure, etc.
23. Everyone is trans in the same way.
24. Trans men transition to get male privilege and trans women try to gain female privilege while retaining male privilege.
25. People are trans solely because of poor parental role models.
26. People are trans because they aren't religious enough.
27. Your outer shell defines who you are.
28. Your genitalia define who you are.
29. Being transgendered automatically means going to Hell.
30. All trans people think/act the same way.
31. Trans people aren't "real" men/women.
32. Only rich, privileged people are transgender.
33. Trans people are protected under federal anti-discrimination laws in the U.S.
34. Trans people can be cured by conversion therapy.
35. Gender is just an abstract concept so transition is not necessary and always misguided.
36. Feminists who believe in deconstructing gender will always support trans women.
37. Cis-gendered people won't keep moving the goalposts as soon as you reach them.
38. People who want GRS are simply amputation fetishists.
39. If you want GRS, this is a type of self-harm or self-mutilation, removing "healthy" tissue.
40. Trans people are just like anorexics - they are simply deluded about their own bodies being "wrong".
41. It is okay to allow transphobia and cissexism to continue because being trans is somehow wrong/evil/sinful.
42. Psychology invented transexualism as a way to make queer and gender non-conforming people into straight, conforming people.
43. Being in an unaltered body is more moral than being in an altered one.
44. Being trans is just like being schizophrenic - they are both just hallucinations and delusions, so transition should be prohibited.
45. Gender is either masculine or feminine; trans people are just confused between the two.
46. There are no religions which accept being trans.
47. Teens and younger people are not old enough to know their gender identity.
48. Trans people are deceiving others about their "true" gender.
49. Your sex can be clearly defined by your chromosomes and/or hormones.
50. Transsexual, transgender, transvestite and intersex are all the same thing.

[uriel1972]

1. No.44

Being both I can tell the difference. But all of these are signs of ignorance, innocence or and or naivity. I woud like to believe education could change all of these, but I have been around too long to believe that.

[Warpy]

2. I know one thing. I don't understand it.

There is no way I could understand it and understanding it is not my job.

My job is accepting it and trans people with it, no matter where in the process they are, just as they are.

That's all.

[uriel1972]

3. Now that's all I ask...

[tblue]

4. Thank you!!! All I ask in return is

Please don't assume every insensitivity, misstatement, or crudely worded utterance is intended to hurt you. Sometimes it really isn't. Correct and enlighten us, by all means Tell us when we are wrong and how it makes you feel, if you are so inclined. But do it with a loving heart and people will be more likely to respond in kind. You may be amazed at the positive impact you can have on people. Everyone has the capacity to be magnanimous and merciful and to enlighten others, at least a little. Conversely, anyone can close a door on people who sincerely mean them no harm.

I really appreciate your post. Namaste.

[Ms. Toad]

9. One thing it would be helpful for you to keep in mind -

People who are trans* hear the same insensitivity, misstatements, or crudely worded utterances all the time - multiple times a day, regardless of the intent of the speaker.

I am not trans, but one of my dearest friends is - and I am an invisible "other" in way more categories than you can shake a stick at. While I agree that the approach you request is the most likely to succeed, and one I use as much of the time as I am able, it takes an incredible amount of energy. When I have heard the same insult over and over - particularly if some of them are deliberate, or if other things in my life are really challenging (as they, unfortunately are far too much of the time) - I don't always have the bandwidth to educate you. I just need the hurting to stop.

If you hear a sharp response from me that seems out of proportion to anything you believe you might have done, follow-up (an, in all honesty later would probably be better) and ask what you have done that hurt me (or have some conversations with other trans friends or allies, or otherwise do some research on your own).

An African American friend once said to me, "It is not my job to educate you as to how you are being racially insensitive. It is your job to educate yourself. Often I'm willing to help. But ultimately, it is your responsibility."

The same is true here. The burden of education should not fall on the shoulders of those who are already burdened by the impact of lack of education.

[sigmasix]

5. I'm inclined to believe

I'm inclined to believe the claims about this sort of situation by people who are transgendered, rather than religious and political operatives with an anti-liberty agenda for the LGBT population. What ever happened to that great American ideal of "Live and let live"?

[chknltl]

6. Things that made me go hmmmmmm....

Not to pick on hypocritical fundies (ok, I am definately picking on them), but if their God, and that'd be the God which is incapable of making mistakes, if that God, doesn't approve of gay marriage, and that very same God created transgendered human beings, well exactly whom is it ok for the transgendered to marry according to this God of theirs? (a 'Reverse Gallagher'* question if ever there was one).










*(a 'Reverse Gallagher' is where the comedian unexpectedly gets pelted with exploding melon bits from his audience).

[MillennialDem]

7. #3 needs to be expanded upon

Yes... trans people are not men in dresses. Unless some FTM feels like crossdressing.

How it should be expanded:

Myth: You can tell a person is transgender by looking at them or hearing their voice. Either before or after they transition or both.

[Ms. Toad]

10. That one is interesting -

and terminology (and classes) are not uniform within the trans* community (and the * is not universally accepted). So I agree it needs to be expanded, but doing so will be a bit tricky.

I just spent the week heavily involved in the local trans* community, and there are people within the trans* community who are men in dresses - and some transgender people are highly suspicious of transvestites. One trans* person (I did not ask her gender identity in general, but she prefers using female pronouns when presenting as female, which she was when I met her) shared that she has been put down because she has no intention of living full time as a woman. That tension is similar that experienced by bisexuals - particularly those in relationships with opposite gender partners are sometimes looked down by the G and L portions of our community.

So some trans* people may be men in dresses (i.e. men who primarily identify as male but who sometimes present as female).

[MillennialDem]

11. I transitioned 10 years ago I am familiar with the community well enough - the point is

MANY if not MOST cis people think trans (or trans* or transsexual or transgender) etc means crossdresser or transvestite or "MAN IN DRESS".

My point was that "MAN IN DRESS" is not what a trans person is. Some might be as you said, but that is not what all are. And yes I acknowledge you said that too.

Lastly, I do not play those petty games that many trans* people do (look down on others).

[Ms. Toad]

12. I was just being tender around G.

We had a fairly long conversation Tuesday, which included me listening to a fair amount of pain because of derogatory names she had been called by other members of the trans* community because she does not plan to transition. #3 seemed reasonable to me as written; it was the blanket rejection you added (trans people are not) with an exception that did not include G which caught my attention (She is not an FTM crossdressing).

I wasn't suggesting you played games, but it is an unfortunate reality that our own communities are not free from discrimination. G defines herself as a crossdresser or transvestite AND identifies as trans* because of that. That is precisely the focal point of her pain, and the reason I commented on your post).

As to what you believe cis people think - I won't argue with "MANY." I suspect it isn't "MOST," but there are certainly enough to make life really miserable.

[Initech]

8. I really hate people who say that if you're not this or this you're going to hell.

That is a major social pet peeve of mine. If you look at any article about trans people on the internet it's filled with vile, hateful nonsense and mindless Bible verses being spewed like they're fact. Just leave people the fuck alone! Didn't Jesus himself say "judge not lest ye be judged"?

[Old Union Guy]

13. Being "normal gay" of the older generation, I have been guilty of some of these myself.

It is always possible to grow.

[Kurovski]

14. Kick (nt)