For gay and lesbian parents, equality is a myth when it comes to custody cases

[xchrom]

http://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2014/apr/21/gay-lesbian-parents-equality-myth-custody-cases

A protracted child custody battle that allows a judge and a psychologist to determine whether you are friend or foe to your kids is every divorcing parent's nightmare. But for some gay and lesbian parents, that nightmare is a reality – and the deciding factor is too often the very fact of their sexuality.

That fear remains even when the law is supposed to protect gay parents. A friend – a gay dad in Texas – recently told me about his journey after he and his ex-wife had a legal agreement for 50-50 custody of their three children. But when his ex-wife decided to move far away and wanted to give him alternate weekend visits, "which she had no right to do," a lawyer bluntly told my friend:

'You're in Texas. She's a straight female ... you're a single gay man ... you have to go on offense, just to keep the 50-50 time you already have with your kids.'

He did, and it was extremely costly. But millions of gay and lesbian parents – those living in the 33 states without marriage equality and even those in states with – don't have the economic means to constantly battle the implicit and explicit discrimination they face to prove what social science already knows: that their sexuality shouldn't be a factor in determining their fitness as parents. But a new study from Drexel University shows that it often is.

The results can be tragic for children: separating them from their gay or lesbian parents, and sometimes leaving them in unsafe homes simply because the other household is "straight".