Lana Parrilla (the evil queen) on gay rights

[Aerows]

Hits it out of the park.

[nightscanner59]

1. Not to damper Lana's powerful message, but Joshua was lucky.

Although I survived extraordinary bullying in a small town, I had no one there, family or otherwise that protected me. I'll abbreviate the chronology, suffice that this was so horrible I ran away from home at 16 and remained homeless until almost 18. I had PTSD, medical needs neglect and abandonment issues so deep that nightmares plagued me for decades afterwards. I was sent by authorities once caught as a juvenile vagrant to my now late Aunt and Uncle's in Southern California. Heaven bless them for helping me make up for a very bad start at adulthood. My parent's death this last year had no normal grief reaction, only relief the earth is free of two extraordinary bigots.
I have remained an active crusader for LGBT rights. But more recently I paid a stiff price for my openness.
Shortly after I was experiencing drive-by shoutings of "faggot" at my home where I was contracted for work in Arizona, I came home from work to find "faggot" spray painted in large letters across my outside wall for all to see. Despite tired from work, I painted it over.
December 17th, 2009 remains indelibly engrammed. I was riding my bicycle for exercise at about 05:30. This is where it gets fuzzy, because the next thing I clearly remembered was becoming concious of riding in an ambulance and that I was terribly injured and numb all over. I underwent dozens of surgeries the last 5 years to correct broken tooth roots, extensive facial and one partial blowout fracture, A displaced left SI joint that was split wide open. Through the early procedures of this I could not tell you except vague recollection of being mugged, until I underwent a PTSD exposure therapy with an interesting experimental drug in Seattle. It was through this I was able to pull what had happened to me, some of it by deduction. After several sessions, I remembered riding my bicycle, and then I was suddenly flying. I had been hit by my muggers pickup truck, either by the front or a door. I was barely aware of being kicked in the head approximately 100 times, my muggers were repeating epithets such as "f'n faggot" during this, my backpack was removed and hearing a bicycle hit a truck bed, doors slam and truck sped off. I somehow managed to drag myself back home where I found an old cell phone (which was miraculous it had enough charge to dial 911). And I passed out on the front walk.
I live with post concussive syndrome the likes probably only some head-injured boxing and football athletes understand. I try to remain strong but it's very, very difficult sometimes when I'm easily nauseated and dizzy with exertion. I did go back to work, but my boss wasn't very understanding, apparently she was a homophobe that felt I'd "deserved" this. She got rid of me, one other gay person, and the transgender employee within a year of her taking over our department. All were drummed out on bullshit accusations she'd co-opted her pets to collaborate. I've worked travel assignments all over California since, with varying degrees of success. A few facilities were not very accommodating at all of my disabilities despite that being minimal. Had it not been for being a travel contractor, I could have sued two of them for wrongful dismissal, nolo contendere. (I still have the paper trail that shows both places were very much in the wrong only in case they tried something stupid against my license to practice... I honestly wish they would have, but both knew they couldn't pull off anything in a court of law)
But overall, I do have extensive social disenfranchisement issues, and frankly, some trust damage I have a lot of difficulty overcoming. Josh was lucky to have, apparently, supportive friends in high places to provide him with wonderful alternatives. I can say the same of only my transgender friend Jamie, who hooked me up with my first travel assignment.
Yet now I'm isolated from having but very few and physically distant friends. Caleb, my loyal, mute, canine companion is often all that keeps me going. From one temporary accommodation at one job to the next, I meet wonderful people for a little while and then, despite attempts to make contact, there is a perception of my differences that gets in the way of any of them contacting me back. I'm aware that I'm a bit different, and have become expert over the years both since my bumpy youth and latter injuries now 5 years ago at hiding physical pain. I feel those who get to know me for a while realize I can't be "real". A few have joked about my cheery disposition and tone as though I were selling soap. If I tell them why, as I've done here, (talking this out, even with no one is therapeutic for me) wow, do they look like a deer in the headlights and just don't know how to respond.

[closeupready]

2. Damn! So sorry to hear of all your troubles.

Sadly, it's a story I've heard so many times in my life from my gay friends. Wish I could say or do something to help assuage your pain.

[Aerows]

3. I've known too many victims of gay-bashing

and frankly, even one is to many.

My girl friend and I were cat-called, stalked and intimidated on the street.

That is NOTHING like the beating too many of our friends endure. I wish to whatever deity their ever was that people quit beating the shit out of decent human beings.

[Aerows]

4. P.S.

Just tried to interject a positive story.

Best wishes to you!

[nightscanner59]

5. Honestly I apologize for posting a downer. I was having a bad day with pain and PTSD issues.

And it's the sort of day I spend too much time sitting and posting on the internet. I had, the previous day dealt with sorting out and shredding some of the documents involved with putting my hateful father into a nursing home against his will a couple years ago, and it triggered some nightmares. I resumed some meds for when issues like that arrive and much better today.

[Aerows]

6. You sound like you need a few of these

[nightscanner59]

7. Thanx, even better than that, I'll be leaving the area near where they lived tomorrow! and

having disposed or securely filed away all reminders, aritifacts and PTSD triggers from my environment the last few days, I can leave much of this all behind me. The past few weeks have I've been on special sabbatical to take care of all issues re: my parent's demise. It's very unlikely I'll ever return to this area, and absolutely never have returned to my "hometown" area where god's followers barbequed my gay self, and never will. Back to my home, my relatively safe environment far from a traumatic and now distant past.

[closeupready]

8. Every time I think about moving to AZ, I hear stories similar to your story.

Sometimes it's about racial discrimination; sometimes it's about religious bigotry; for whatever reason I thought things were improving for GLBT people in AZ, but based upon your story, I think I need to rethink that idea.

Peace to you.