Welcome to DU! The truly grassroots left-of-center political community where regular people, not algorithms, drive the discussions and set the standards. Join the community: Create a free account Support DU (and get rid of ads!): Become a Star Member Latest Breaking News General Discussion The DU Lounge All Forums Issue Forums Culture Forums Alliance Forums Region Forums Support Forums Help & Search

littlemissmartypants

(22,632 posts)
Thu Nov 15, 2018, 08:13 AM Nov 2018

Reminder: She Doesn't Owe Anyone a Hug. Not Even at the Holidays.

Reminder: She Doesn’t Owe Anyone a Hug. Not Even at the Holidays.

Holidays and family get-togethers are a time for yummy food, sweet traditions, funny stories, and lots and lots of love. But they could, without you even realizing it, also be a time when your daughter gets the wrong idea about consent and physical affection.

Have you ever insisted, “Uncle just got here—go give him a big hug!” or “Auntie gave you that nice toy, go give her a kiss,” when you were worried your child might not offer affection on her own? If yes, you might want to reconsider the urge to do that in the future.

Think of it this way, telling your child that she owes someone a hug either just because she hasn’t seen this person in a while or because they gave her a gift can set the stage for her questioning whether she “owes” another person any type of physical affection when they’ve bought her dinner or done something else seemingly nice for her later in life.

“The notion of consent may seem very grown-up and like something that doesn’t pertain to children,” says Girl Scouts’ developmental psychologist Dr. Andrea Bastiani Archibald, “but the lessons girls learn when they’re young about setting physical boundaries and expecting them to be respected last a lifetime, and can influence how she feels about herself and her body as she gets older. Plus, sadly, we know that some adults prey on children, and teaching your daughter about consent early on can help her understand her rights, know when lines are being crossed, and when to go to you for help.”

More at the link.
https://www.girlscouts.org/en/raising-girls/happy-and-healthy/happy/what-is-consent.html

3 replies = new reply since forum marked as read
Highlight: NoneDon't highlight anything 5 newestHighlight 5 most recent replies
Reminder: She Doesn't Owe Anyone a Hug. Not Even at the Holidays. (Original Post) littlemissmartypants Nov 2018 OP
Yes.. interesting that most people will ask permission to pat/approach a dog, but think nothing hlthe2b Nov 2018 #1
I agree with this 100%. Ohiogal Nov 2018 #2
100% agree, furthermore ... Odoreida Nov 2018 #3

hlthe2b

(102,228 posts)
1. Yes.. interesting that most people will ask permission to pat/approach a dog, but think nothing
Thu Nov 15, 2018, 08:28 AM
Nov 2018

of demanding physical contact with a child--even more so, if related. The child doesn't know any more than they are TOLD about this person in many cases. Forced affection is just that... forced.

Latest Discussions»Alliance Forums»Women's Rights & Issues»Reminder: She Doesn't Owe...