Sofia Vergara’s Ex, Sherri Shepherd, Fox Doc Keith Ablow Enter Jerk-Off Contest. All Win.
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Sofia Vergara’s Ex, Sherri Shepherd, Fox Doc Keith Ablow Enter Jerk-Off Contest. All Win.
Last week, the Internet had itself a rollicking time being horrified and disgusted by some douche, Nick Loeb we guess, taking to the pages of the New York Times to explain why he’s suing for the right to take ex-fiancee Sofia Vergara’s frozen babies out of their Petri dish, plant them in a stranger’s belly, and make a happy home. Short version: but he waaaaaants them. Long version: What part of “but Nick Loeb wants them” don’t you understand? (Loeb is a rich person, and is used to getting what the fuck he would like.)
The Internet? It was aghast. Loeb and Vergara — incidentally, the highest paid woman in television — had a contract stipulating that both would have to agree as to whether to bring their Snowflake Children to term, and then they broke up. (Because he is a douche.) Vergara was like “hey we are broken up now; maybe we should not have children together?” And Loeb was like “BUT I MUST HAVE YOU AND IF I CAN’T HAVE YOU I MUST HAVE YOUR CLONES.” And it all got very ugly, both because Loeb is a douche and because he wrote things like this:
When we got engaged, in 2012, I began to push for children. As I said in my complaint, my fiancée insisted that we use a surrogate. With her eggs and my sperm we created two female embryos. I was so excited once the lives were created that I began to suggest names we could call our girls. The first embryo we implanted didn’t take. The second time, the surrogate miscarried, and I felt crushed.
A year later, we tried again, creating two more embryos, both female. But as we began to discuss other potential surrogates, it became clear once more that parenthood was much less urgent for her than it was for me. We had been together for over four years. As I was coming on 40, I gave her an ultimatum. When she refused, we split up.
HINT DUDE: When you give someone an ultimatum about having your child, and she decides she would rather break up with you than do so, that is not actually a binding reason to force her to create human lives with you, you fucking weirdo.
. . . . .
But what is important is having Nick Loeb to lead the charge for Men’s Rights to override silly little things like “contracts” and “human decency” and cook up some Mini-Sofia Vergaras because HE WANTS THEM. And what is also important is for Sherri Shepherd to be able to “disavow” the child she intentionally created because SHE DOESN’T. And the most important thing is to have an entire news channel devoted to angry bald men laying down the law on who gets to decide to be a parent and who doesn’t. Will Ablow’s next move be to decide that men should have a right to veto their women’s birth control? Fuck it, why not!
Careful, Megyn Kelly, not sure the Fox green room would make the most secure safe house in Gilead.
Read more at http://wonkette.com/584828/sofia-vergaras-ex-sherri-shepherd-fox-doc-keith-ablow-enter-jerk-off-contest-all-win#9aob3DgfghLpeFrD.99
Read more at http://wonkette.com/584828/sofia-vergaras-ex-sherri-shepherd-fox-doc-keith-ablow-enter-jerk-off-contest-all-win#9aob3DgfghLpeFrD.99
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