I've had two heart attacks, and I have an ICD. Have your heart disease when you're young and healthy is my advice. My cardiologist retired, and yesterday, I went for my routine six month check up and to meet the new cardiologist.
I parked in the closest open spot because it was snowing and cold. There was a man sitting inthe car next to mine, parked backwards.
WHen I got out, my car door hit his. Not hard at all. No mark, no chip, no dent, nothing. I was immediately apologetic.
"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. No marks" and thought that was the end of it.
The man opened his door not to inspect his car, but to say, "Well, who closes a door like that. You're supposed to..." and he mansplained how to close a car car. In gloves. On a wet day.
I blinked 37 times. "Thank you for that secret nugget of automotive wisdom. I look forward to applying it in the future. Again, I'm sorry."
He said, 'That's a good girl." With a smug smirk.
I shoved his door shut, said "I'm not your girl. I'm no one's girl. I'm 54 years old. I'm a grown ass woman. Fuck off." and stormed into the office.
I forgot my mask. I urned around, got my mask out of the car, and he had his window down to tell me I was a girl with a foul mouth. He said I was going to go to hell.
I was gobsmacked, and said, I'd pray for him.
I was livid.
I went into the office, and waited to check in. He's outside with his hands on either side of his face, pressed up against my tinted windows peering in at the things insie and the stickers on my car. (golf clubs, CGA, other golf stuff)
I went back outside and approached him. "Can I help you?? Get away from my car."
More about my foul mouth.
He says, "Are you a member of hendersonville?"
"Member of Hendersonville what?" (I live in hendersonville, nc)
"The Country Club" he says.
"What does that have to do with the price of eggs?" I ask. WHat business it it of yours.
I may have said fuck off again. (Note: I play at a local public course. the country clubbers are assholes)
I went back to the office, but felt weird, and stopped part way, maybe 20 yards? I bent over, got down low, and breathed deep.
He gets out of the car to say, what's wrong with you?
By now, I'm trying to text my husband and take a picture of his license plate. I wasn't working well, I got to the car, set my hat and gloves and paperwork on the hood, and started to text my husband.
My icd went off. I felt it, heard it, and dropped against the car. I'bve had two other cardiac inversions, but they were under anesthesia. I screamed. The ICD shocked me again. No mistake. I dropped to the ground between the cars. Screamed. Sat up to take license hoto. Bzzzt. scream. I lay in the dirty snow between the car, my head drpped to the curb.
He gets out of the car again. "Are you OK?" WHite as a sheet. No smirk.
"I'm having a fucking heart attack, asshole. Are you proud of your self now?" Bzzzzt. screaming.
"Get a doctor!" Bzzzzt. scream
it went off six times in ten minutes.
He returns with two nurses and a doctor from the office, who check vitals, get me into a wheelchair and ask what happened. (See above)
Mr. TotalStranger says, "Well, I went to get help."
"You're an arsonist," I said, "who called the fire department."
I kept asking someone to get his name. He pay have pissed his pants.
They took me into the office until the ambulance arrived, sirens going. The EMTs wheeled me out and transferred me to a gurney and up into the rig, with IV's and mobile EKGs right in front of him. I made constant eye contact. Pointed at him. Waved from the back of the ambulance. Repeated the story for the EMTs, and they applauded.
He bullied me into a heart attack in the parking lot of my cardiologist's office while he was waiting for his wife to finish up her...wait for it...cardiologists appointment.
And the golf thing? I'm beloved in the Local golf community. I had a heart attack on #2 at Crooked Creek, but played 9 so I could post a score.
I'm hosting a women's Heart Disease Awareness golf tournament fundraiser called Cardiac Creek. It was supposed to be last October, but Covid. My sponsor and the beneficiary of all the proceeds? Pardee Hospital and Asheville Cardiologists, among others. If he tells this story around town, about some young woman dropping like a stone and having a heart attack and mentions the golf piece at all, well.
Karma is making a big comeback this year.
P.S. It was not a heart attack. It was not v-tach. It was supra v-tach. brought on by, according to the ER doc: stress.
I could not make it up.
I never did meet the new cardiologist.
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