Why I joined the Feminist group.

[Texasgal]

I decided to join the Feminist group on DU3 because I had several good conversations with Women that belong to this group. I have become more interested in learning and becoming more aware of Women's issues in the last several years.

I am not an expert on the subject, and I am not an expert on different Phobia's or different accronyms. I am learning about these things now thanks to the participants of this group. I am hoping to become more educated and try to take that education on into real life events.

I didn't sign up to see snipping, flame wars and pile-ons. As a protected group I had more faith in it quite frankly. We have GD for that!

I hope that this just an odd "flap" and that the group will recover and move on towards what really matters.

[Gormy Cuss]

1. It will recover, given enough time.

Really.

[MadrasT]

2. Me too

And I feel like I just fell into a giant poop-storm and I'm not sure I want to stick around.

(Now I am afraid someone will call me out for being poop-phobic.)

[Gormy Cuss]

6. Why do you hate Number 2??????????

[seabeyond]

7. lol

it will all work out and dontcha be going anywhere. we enjoy you and already you are a part of the whole

[midnight]

3. I will have to check it out...

[chrisa]

4. .

[seabeyond]

8. .

always good to see you

i know, not my thread. but it is good to see you women in this thread

and i just love texasgal

[chrisa]

23. haha thanks!

[seabeyond]

5. i hope so, too. there are MANY posters that want the forum, just as you do

thanks.

[OKNancy]

9. There are a lot of lukers who would like to post

but I imagine, like me, they are waiting for things to settle down.

I'm an old time feminist... on the battle ground back in the late 1960's... and now as a retired woman, I am enjoying a life of domestic bliss.

[Texasgal]

10. I've been afraid for numerous

reasons. I'm mainly a lurker... at times I have legit questions, but I am afraid.

Hopefully, I'll get a chance soon and feel better about posting. Good to see you.

[Remember Me]

11. I'm going to be honest with you

Fist, I'm really sorry that you've come in this place in this time and encountered that.

BUT, Gormy Cuss is, IMO, overly optimistic.

This place is under seige -- not just attack, but seige. If you have the stomach for it, it would be extremely instructive and potentially useful to observe and watch carefully (and of course try not to get drawn in).

That's not to say that you can't post, or that I'm discouraging you from posting or participating elsewise -- not atall -- just that it's a mess, and it's going to stay a mess probably until something tips the balance.

Again, sorry for our mess, but some people here are trying to put us under construction.

[Texasgal]

12. That's really too bad.

I'll go back to lurking and not posting if this is the case.

I find it very selfish of people to do this. This group should be open and inviting for any Woman that wants it to be. How disappointing.

[Gormy Cuss]

13. While you're waiting, post in Women's Rights and Issues.

Last edited Mon Feb 13, 2012, 07:12 PM - Edit history (1)

So far we've had only a few minor disagreements.

I've seen the Feminist group blow up before and recover. I'm sure it will happen again. What I wouldn't attempt to predict however is just how long that process will take this time.

[Texasgal]

14. Thanks, I'll try that.

[seabeyond]

16. because we are supportive? do you think that might help it being controversy free? nt

[Gormy Cuss]

18. It's just a different group with a different focus

For people who are uncomfortable with what's been happening here lately, it's another place to read and think about women's rights while waiting for it to calm down.Women's Rights isn't a Feminists group and thus there are different reasons to post in each space, but both groups could appeal to some members here.

[seabeyond]

19. but to be clear, also, we support you. i know i did and do.

you guys did your host and i was all for it in support.

BIG difference.

that, i would like recognized. and i am all for what yawl do in that forum, cause if there is something i want to talk about, i feel perfectly comfortable having a conversation....

this forum has no more need to be volatile or disruptive as that forum. i hope we can reconcile and acknowledge that.

[Gormy Cuss]

22. You most certainly did support us.

We don't have any official hosts yet though. We're still waiting for admin confirmation.

[redqueen]

20. Oops.

I saw your post here and went and had a look around... I hope I didn't go out of bounds there with any feminist stuff.

I thought that group wasn't active so I hadn't checked it in a long while, thanks for mentioning it.

[Gormy Cuss]

21. Troublemaker.

We can talk feminism over there but IMHO the best feminist discussions should always be in this group. Just MHO, naturally.

[Violet_Crumble]

35. I'm not seeing where the different focus is..

I'm uncomfortable with what's happened here lately, but I've had no problems at all posting about feminism and women's issues right here and just walking around the personal attacks and crap. What a pity that some in that other group can't behave the way they do there when they come over here

[Gormy Cuss]

37. "that other group"? Are you referring to the Women's Rights group?

If so, please remember that many of us are subscribed to both that group and Feminists.

[Violet_Crumble]

38. Well, seeing as that's the group that you were talking about, it's obvious it is...

I've got no idea who is and isn't a subscriber to any group, and don't particularly give a fuck.

btw, thanks for yr help in explaining what the different focus is

[Gormy Cuss]

39. If you don't give a fuck, why did you make that comment upthread? n/t

[Violet_Crumble]

40. Huh? I said I don't give a fuck who's subscribed where

Why? What did you mistakenly think I was saying I don't give a fuck about? Apart from not giving a fuck about who's subscribed to what group seeing as only the admin know, I'm not sure how you read any other lack of giving a fuck I expressed

[Gormy Cuss]

41. Never mind.

I see that you don't give a fuck.

[Violet_Crumble]

42. Oh I dont mind clearing up confusion on yr part

Dont try twisting what I say and well get on fine

[Gormy Cuss]

43. I didn't try to twist what you said.

Did it occur to you that I didn't follow what you meant?

[Violet_Crumble]

44. Sure you didn't

Did it occur to you to ask if yr struggling to understand what was a simple and very clear sentence? Not that I'm sure why you took issue with anything I said in the first place instead of doing the polite thing and just asking.

Now that's out of the way I feel so much happier

[seabeyond]

15. we will just have to have boundaries adn all understand why we have those boundaries

with the intent to make this place comfortable for all.

as a parent, (i really am not being insulting, lol), nice strong boundaries for good reason leaves a very peaceful house. and we all like it that way. so we all work toward that goal.

[Remember Me]

17. Yes -- I in no way wanted to encourage you to leave

However, some people just don't have the stomach for conflict. I understand that. And some of us are unwilling to roll over and play dead and let others trample all over us, so that often means conflict.

I was looking at the Women's Rights forum myself yesterday and noticed an incredible lack of the kinds of things, in part because not all of the same people here are posting there, and there doesn't seem to be anyone out to "get" anyone else. Because of the lack of agitation from outside, it's a much different environment.

[The empressof all]

24. We can only be responsible for our own behavior

I think that if someones involvement in the group is intended only to agitate then you should alert on them or put them on ignore.

The endless discussion of this going on and on about who did what to whom and who did it first is never ending.

We in this group need to concerned with our own behavior first and fore-most.

I would hope that we would welcome anyone into our group who shares our goals and hopes for the future.

There will always be fire if you look hard for it.....We don't need to be so worried about it or fanning the flames. We are capable as a group to promote harmony and community which are in fact a very feminine strength.

There is no win in doing otherwise.

[Remember Me]

46. That's good advice, and I agree with much of it

But several posters here who have been through several days' worth of reading (or perhaps less) have been able to see that some people like to come here just when there is advantage -- or possibly just delicious DRAMA , yum, yum -- to be gained from their intermittent participation.

There is the strong likelihood that our ultra-shy host Neoma is being manipulated and used by -- well, I don't know who. But if she shared what she very well knew was private, privileged materials with others, and some of those who received her information (tho not from her directly, they insist) have volunteered that as fact -- then she is clearly serving as someone's or some group's "informant" and pawn.

Is it REALLY a good idea to put those who may be part of this on ignore?? Is it a smart to believe they "share our goals and hopes for the future?"

And surely you realize that there are many, many posts that get made in such a situation that would never be hidden, so alerting is pointless. In fact, you're probably aware that jurors are now admonishing alerters for alerting! Further, in this type of situation, if you don't know something about the whole story, you don't know squat, and the juries aren't designed for that either, so it's pointless to alert.

Nor am I willing to let lies and mischaracterizations or mere misunderstandings stand. And there's a load of them out there.

Finally, it would be of interest to start noticing who exactly is doing the fanning.

Now, if you'd like more info, I have a boatload of links I could share.

[The empressof all]

47. Yep..things turn on a dime with this drama

I am of the opinion that at this point the group should have no hosts. There is way too much crazy making poo throwing coming from every direction.

Everyone is suspect....Everyone is complicit with some kind of subterfuge.

Frankly I'm coming to the conclusion that this little community is headed for the echo chamber of self destruction.... It makes me sad...

Maybe someone needs to make a spread sheet of who did what to who and how they failed us all.

Then we can repeat history and burn the witches.

This whole little drama stinks to high hell and is just shameful how we are treating each other.

[Texasgal]

25. I guess the conflict is strange

because I really don't understand it.

I've read all the threads, the locks etc. And I am still trying to figure out just what the heck the issue is!

Oh well, ignorance is bliss they say. I'll wait until things cool off. I've enjoyed many tangible threads here. I am starting to grasp the education of "Feminism" much more now days.

Anyhoo... back to GD I guess.

[The empressof all]

26. There is a small group who is intent on revisiting it

Over and over and over again...

THERE IS NO RESOLUTION....THERE IS NO BIG WIN HERE TO STRIVE FOR!

Those that are involved need to move along and let it go

And those of us not involved need to make our group healthy and whole.

[seabeyond]

27. that is so wrong. nt

[seabeyond]

28. we have been posting in this forum for months, since du3 opened with no problem for MONTHS.

we have gotten along. we have not had disruptors, fights or anything else. the last week we have had lots of people that never post in this forum and it is a mess. to have the audacity to blame the regular posters in here for the mess and problems is absurd.

we didnt have any issues until the last couple days. it is not the regular users of this forum attacking, disrupting and making this a horrible place to be.

[The empressof all]

29. Seriously Sea....

I'm not sure you are seeing this clearly... I have always respected and liked you and I don't expect that to change. There are problems in this group. There are women who don't feel safe posting here. It has nothing to do with people coming into this group from "outside".
There are Women across the board not just from one cross section or another who are reporting this.

Honestly I hate the fact that this group has become a laughing stock across DU.

I can only tell you I have lurked here since the beginning and rarely posted because most of the time it didn't seem worth my effort. That's sad commentary. There are many here who I would like to know, many who have made me laugh and many I respect. But reread this thread and check out the number of lurkers reporting in..

[seabeyond]

30. just stop ..... just stop. nt

[The empressof all]

31. You got it

And thanks for setting limits...

I appreciate it.

[iverglas]

32. yeah, I definitely don't feel safe posting here

I'm soooo afraid I may get banned from DU because there are all these people trying to make that happen, y'see.

It's consuming me with anxiety. I have PTSD, you know. It often happens when a strange man abducts you and attacks you and chokes you into semi-consciousness and rapes you and then wants you to go for a walk in the woods at the bottom of a quarry but you escape and run for your life when he turns his head. Anxiety. It kind of lives with you after that.

So just imagine me, not knowing from one day to the next whether my persona here will survive the next attack. Nice, eh?

Oh, all right. Where is that thing when you figure somebody is going to need it ...



Not about the very real PTSD, or the very real fixation some people have developed. Just about caring.

[Texasgal]

33. Sorry..but I do feel

uncomfortable posting here. The flame wars and the pile-ons make me uneasy.

If I am not welcome here I would just prefer someone say so. It would make it easier to move on.

[iverglas]

34. just check whom my post was in reply to, and what was said

The flamewars and pile-ons make me uneasy too. They make all of us who are the constant victims of them uneasy. Seriously annoyed, actually. But hey, when people are gunning for you, it would be silly not to sleep with one eye open.

I can't offer any guarantee that you won't have someone climbing down your neck for something you say. Inquisition appears to be the modus operandi here. Conform to the party line that some want to impose on this forum, or suffer the consequences all over DU.

If you click on my profile and then look at my transparency page, you'll see the ridiculous lengths that will be gone to, to achieve the goal. I alerted on a post (that had nothing to do with me) tonight that said, in the subject line, "You are a liar". The jury thought that was just fine and left it to stand. Someone alerted on a post of mine that asked whether a poster's game wasn't old and smelly, and enough of their friends on the jury that that was just horrible that it got hidden. I'd feel like an idiot alerting on something like that, myself, but when the stakes are so high -- and they seem to be, not that I have ever had a clue what they were -- that it's worth looking that silly, I guess.

I wish I could offer guarantees. I wish you could be assured that if you say something in this forum, someone who hasn't had anything else to say about anything won't leap out from behind a bush and holler that you have just insulted some group or other and must now either admit the error of your ways (even when you have not erred) or forever after be hounded around cyberspace and mud thrown at you until you go away.

Many people do go away. This forum is missing, oh, a couple of dozen posters from the old DU who have no intention of wasting their time on this nonsense. It's dead before it gets started. But what they want, they have got, so we can only wish them well in their future endeavours.

Meanwhile, you can always just read a thread that looks actually interesting, and if you see no one lurking behind a bush, add to it. Many people here actually like reading other members' thoughts about any number of things. Heck, I've just posted about soap operas in the thread about intimate-partner violence. Come on along and join in. One or two people did try to start something up there (you know, women aren't so special, children are victims of violence too ..), but it hasn't worked yet, so maybe that thread can be preserved. Jump in and have a say!

[Violet_Crumble]

36. Hey, hang around Texasgal...

Like you, I'm not an expert on feminism, and only found this group when DU3 started. All these flamewars and pile-ons are total bullshit and people need to grasp the simple concept that if they're going to come out with a post going on about another DUer, then chances are very few people want to read that shit and are sick of it. If they talk about feminism and women's issues, then all's good with the world. If I wanted to read a bunch of pile-ons, I'd at least go find somewhere where people do it with a bit of style, finesse and humour

[miso honey]

45. Wow, sounds like too much drama for me!

Buh-bye!