"I'm not a feminist but..."

[yardwork]

I was prompted to start this OP by this post in another thread in this group:

http://www.democraticunderground.com/?com=view_post&forum=1139&pid=4900

From time to time I hear a woman say "I'm not a feminist but..." and the rest of the words are always something very reasonable and clearly feminist.

I always respond, "I am a feminist."

This is usually a conversation stopper. People who begin sentences with the phrase "I'm not a feminist but..." usually don't know very many women who identify as feminists. They've been taught that "feminist" is a dirty word, something akin to Rush Limbaugh's "feminazis." The right has co-opted this word to mean something negative. In so doing they have undermined the entire movement for women's rights and human rights.

One of the most damaging libels is that feminism means "special rights" for women as part of an effort to deny rights to men. This frightens a lot of women into thinking that they can't be feminists if they love and remain loyal to the men in their lives. It is an effort to make feminism appear to be an extremist position that is biased against men.

If a person believes in equal rights for all people, females and men, then they are a feminist. Women and men can be feminists.

Be out. Be proud. Tell people that you are a feminist. Tell them what it really means.

[libinnyandia]

1. It has always seemed to me that men and women should be free to follow their dreams.

And I found out early on that there were many ignorant people who were set in their ways. I remember attending my niece's graduation more than 30 years ago and the speaker was talking of the boys going on to become doctors, lawyers, soldiers and the girls becoming teachers, nurses and mothers. I wanted to stand up and tell him women could be doctors, lawyers, soldiers and men could be teachers and nurses. The graduates would decide what they wanted to be.

[zbdent]

2. Whenever I hear "I'm a lifelong Democrat, but ..." or "I was a lifelong liberal, but ..."

I pretty much know that:

1. The person is probably lying

2. the next thing out of their mouths is going to be some regurgitated crap from Rush or the like ...

[Rex]

13. +1

nt

[Tobin S.]

3. K&R

I want equality for women.

[DURHAM D]

4. Younger women refer to feminism as The F Word.

I know this from talking to young women at our local university - grad and undergrad. It is a nasty word to them. They truly believe they are living in a post-feminist world.

I usually shrug if off and suggest they get back to me in about 10 years.

I am a Feminist.

[Vanje]

5. I am a feminist.

yep

[Ruby the Liberal]

6. I agree with reclaiming words.

No tolerance for those who seek to use words as weapons.

If a person believes in equal rights for all people, females and men, then they are a feminist.

This describes me.

I wish we had the poll function to try a "are you a feminist" using that definition; I would venture to say that the vast majority of DU would support this. I would at least hope.

I did see one challenge to this definition here recently, but it was not explicit as to what the concern with using this definition was, which I had hoped to see.

Perhaps this thread will open that dialogue, so am posting to followup.

[REP]

9. I saw that challenge as well, and it had me confused for a moment

And then it pissed me the fuck off. How dare anyone define my feminism for me.

I usually just stop at "equal rights for all people, regardless of gender" to try be inclusive of everyone. No judgement of anyone else's wording - that's just the one I use

[rosesaylavee]

7. I do

Last edited Sat Feb 25, 2012, 12:09 AM - Edit history (2)

and will continue to do so. And I agree. Not many women understand what the word means. It is what I am and have been since I became an adult.

I am also a liberal feminist.

[saras]

8. I have a lot of responses. Some are subtle, some are quite rude.

"Can I arrange for that guy over there to fuck you for $50, behind this garbage can? No? You think YOU deserve a voice in the transaction? Then you're a feminist."

"Do your parents have the right to cut your clit off so you won't have sex before marriage? No? Then you're a RADICAL feminist."

Being a feminist means that you and your spouse equally have the right to stand up for your kids, and no one can dismiss the concerns of either one of you.

Being a feminist means that women are people, not property or servants. Everything else follows.

[Skittles]

10. whenever anyone says, "I am not a feminist"

I ask them to define the word FEMINIST - they *NEVER* can

[Whisp]

11. it's sad that the word feminist has been so loaded

because of concerted effort to do so.

If put in a situation where it applies I like to reply: How's that masculinist thing working for you?

[ismnotwasm]

12. I always say

Behind everything I am, the force behind every single thing I believe in, the passion I wake up in the morning with, all my politics, all my opinions all my interests, there is feminism. People usually just nod in a kind of stunned manner

Since I have diverse interests from thinds like astronomy and philosophy to life sciences to sci-fi and the potential implications of quantum mechanics, feminism carries over to an incredibly rich number of topics.

[pacalo]

14. I'm a feminist by that definition.

But I'm secure enough about my life as a woman that I refuse to be nitpicky about word usage. Words do not make me feel weaker in my role as a woman; if I showed outwardly that "those" words intimidate or bother me, then I would be admitting that I'm weak. I'm stronger than that as a person & a woman, enough to allow expressions to roll off my shoulders.

I know that may not be the popular stance in the Feminists Group, but that's what separates me from identifying myself from the group. There are too many other important battles to focus on, thanks to the regressive party.

[yardwork]

16. I think that's the exact point of my OP, if I'm understanding your post correctly.

You would never say that you are interested in equal rights but rush to assure your listeners that "I'm not a feminist." The use of that word does not bother you.

The fact that you choose not to use the word feminist or any other particular word isn't what matters. What matters is that you don't buy into the right-wing's definition of that word to the extent that you scared away from using it. That's what I'm talking about.

[pacalo]

18. I should have mentioned that I liked what your OP had to say.

You're very welcoming & I like your attitude.

[yardwork]

19. Oh thanks!

I've noticed and agreed with a number of your posts recently.

[JoeyT]

15. The young women I know that use "I'm not a feminist, but..."

don't do it because they associate feminism with radicalism or feminazis or anything else the right has pushed. They don't associate with feminism because every time they've done so they've been sneered at by people in the movement who were more than happy to yell at them until they gave up on it. There are actually multiple threads in this forum right now about how much younger feminists suck, so denying that it happens is sort of pointless.

The thread you linked to didn't even make it a single response before it was younger women's fault that ground was lost. Losses that are largely blamed on women that couldn't even drive during the time the losses occurred.

They don't view feminism as some radical political theory that wants to elevate women at the expense of men. They view it as "A bunch of old women that are going to blame everything on my generation and blame anything anyone my generation does on me specifically.". Good luck convincing them otherwise when articles with titles like "Don't Trust Any Feminists Under 30" are being well received.

It isn't a problem that's exclusive to feminism, either. I've been to progressive meetups that I left thinking "Well fuck this noise. I've never met a bigger bunch of condescending asshats in my life." Apparently I was doing liberal wrong all these years.

[yardwork]

17. I recognize and affirm your point of view on that. That can happen. I agree.