Schoolgirl Hitchikers - on Netflix
It's long been rumored that Sonny Bono had considered an acting career and, using an assumed name, had played roles in foreign films to try it out. This film may be an interesting clue to that rumor, but maybe not, since associating this film with anything involving a clue is something of a stretch. Cluelessness is a central theme of the film as a trio of madcap jewel thieves search for their missing booty in all of the wrong places. While they find plenty of booty along the way, the jewels or anything else of value remain elusive.
The mystery begins within moments of hitting the play button, as you realize that Schoolgirl Hitchikers does not actually involve a school, hitchhiking or even the two actresses depicted on the cover art image provided by Netflix. That the Netflix capsule description also includes misinformation about this dubbed French title makes me wonder if they actually watched it which, I admit, they may not be paid enough to do. But, hey, you're paying to subscribe and, as they say, they can't all be winners. There is, after all, only one Oscar each year for best foreign film, and director Jean Rollin clearly had given up hope in 1973.
There is some hiking, and there are some cars, but not at the same time. If you are looking for a low mileage vintage Peugot, Datsun B210 or a Dodge Dart, have I got a deal on three for you, none of which were driven more than 20 yards on the grounds of a French Chateau. I puzzled over why the word "chateau" seems to combine the words for "cat" (chat) and "water" (eau), and why don't I don't stop watching Netflix to seek some real entertainment by, say, changing the kitty litter. There's only so much life that can pass you by in 79 minutes, but here again the Netflix description is at odds with the actual 120 minute run time of the film. It's entirely possible that this is not the film it's supposed to be, and I mean that in more ways than one.
Fans of French interior design will appreciate many of the country chateau details, in particular the rosewood chifferobe, brilliant cinematic use of a stained glass bedecked gazebo, a selection of richly detailed wallpapers and how even a threadbare oriental rug can really just pull the whole room together. The dude abides, and he abides in the parlor long beyond you will have figured out whodunit, and turned to the more disturbing question posed by this film, which is more of a "why done it".
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