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Sat May 17, 2014, 08:11 PM

Does anyone else resent it when doctors ask if you have any children, or where you

Go to church?

I consider both of those questions to be really personal questions that I feel doctors have no business asking.

To be clear, this is not in conjunction with family planning or anything like that.

It is simply "busybody" stuff, a false intimacy that doctors seem to love to force on me for some reason.

Sometimes I feel like I need to wear a sign that says, "I don't like you. I don't trust you. I am forced out of necessity to temporarily submit to you in order to get the medicines and tests I need. I don't want to become friends with you. Ask medically essential questions only."

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Response to LiberalLoner (Original post)

Sat May 17, 2014, 08:16 PM

1. I have never had any doctor ask me either of those questions, ever.

And I'm 70 years old.

There have been plenty of opportunities, but nobody has seized it.

Not sure what I would say if I were asked.

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Response to LiberalLoner (Original post)

Sat May 17, 2014, 08:28 PM

2. I always reply politely but inside I seethe.

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Response to LiberalLoner (Original post)

Sat May 17, 2014, 08:34 PM

3. Kids, no. Church, yes

They like to have some social history to see whether or not you've got a support system or if you're the support system for everybody else. It's important.

While the church question might identify you as someone who can't get a blood transfusion, it seems largely unimportant. The hospital checks that stuff when you go in for surgery or after an accident.

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Response to LiberalLoner (Original post)

Sat May 17, 2014, 08:56 PM

4. Well, I still feel it's none of their business. I hate doctors with a passion.

I will never let them "in" and I am always on high alert/full shields deployed, so to speak, when dealing with them.

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Response to LiberalLoner (Reply #4)

Sat May 17, 2014, 09:21 PM

6. If you will never let them in, why bother to go to them at all? What are you expecting them to do,

read your mind?

My aged mother used to do this with doctors, before she died. She would be at death's door, yet take her to a doctor and she would behave as if she was at some sort of social event, would never tell them what was actually wrong, was just a charming intelligent person supposedly having a conversation. I used to wonder what the doctors thought she was doing there.

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Response to enough (Reply #6)

Sun May 18, 2014, 08:40 PM

12. I discuss my symptoms, medical history, medications. I do not let my doctor develop a fake

And patronizing friendship with me.

I do not want hugs. I do not want pats on the back. I do not even want to shake hands.

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Response to LiberalLoner (Original post)

Sat May 17, 2014, 09:17 PM

5. If you are a woman, it is not outside of bounds for a doctor to ask if you have had children.

That's not busybody, that's medical history.

About the church, I feel completely different. That may be an awkward way of finding out what kind of human/social context you live in, which is known to be an important part of health. But there must be some better way of asking that than asking where you go to church, and it certainly shouldn't be asked on the first visit.

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Response to enough (Reply #5)

Sun May 18, 2014, 12:40 AM

9. I believe the

question about your church affiliation
is because certain religions are against
certain medical interventions. It probably has a lot to do with wanting to do what's best for the patient, family and potential law suits too.
Best thing is to just ask the Dr why.

Enough,that's exactly how my mom is too.
She puts on a front for the Dr making it look like she's fine.

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Response to enough (Reply #5)

Fri Jul 25, 2014, 07:43 PM

15. A doctor could ask

If you have objections to any medical procedures.

Asking about your religion and making assumptions based on that is not good. If there is a condition that requires a transfusion or a support system they can ask the specific questions needed.

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Response to LiberalLoner (Original post)

Sat May 17, 2014, 11:29 PM

7. having kids changes lots of things.

ie- i have autoimmune thyroiditis. common in women like me who had multiple kids. little nodules, makes my thyroid puffy, but still works ok.

church, yeah, i have never been asked that question that i recall.

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Response to LiberalLoner (Original post)

Sat May 17, 2014, 11:56 PM

8. I live in the northeast and never been asked these questions.

Is it a regional thing, (bible belt).



(edit for sp)

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Response to LiberalLoner (Original post)

Sun May 18, 2014, 09:03 AM

10. Never had any doctor ask about church

But most of them do ask about children (since I'm a woman, I assume). They never ask my husband about having children because (again I assume) that is not medically relevant. The fact that I carried children and what sort of things happened during those pregnancies is medically relevant (for example, finding out that I had 3 9+ lb singleton children and 8+ lb each twins means that I'm a high risk Diabetes - which I already have, but it's a good example)

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Response to LiberalLoner (Original post)


Response to LiberalLoner (Reply #11)

Sun May 25, 2014, 11:00 PM

13. I'm glad you're not my patient.

 

They must be treating you out of the goodness of their hearts. I'm surprised your doctor hasn't "fired" you.

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Response to lululu (Reply #13)

Mon May 26, 2014, 12:41 PM

14. I have a terrific neuro right now. He treats me very professionally, and in turn

I am polite and appreciative.

This thread was me venting about a female neuro I had one appointment with who has since, tellingly, left the practice of medicine altogether.

Looks from her reviews, most patients had the same complaints about her I did.

My experience with her just bugged me, and I guess I just wanted to vent about it.

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Response to LiberalLoner (Reply #14)

Mon Aug 18, 2014, 12:26 PM

16. I'm In Good Shape With My Neuro Too

He acknowledges that i have as much education as he does and that i'm a pretty smart cookie.

Talks in very technical terms and assumes i know what it means. So does the woman i have for a rheumatologist.

Both regularly ask me about my golf game, because they know i play seriously. But, there is a medical implication there too. If i'm still able to play to the level i do, i'm obviously doing ok with the MS and the RA.
GAC

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