I dedicate this to my father

[vercetti2021]

You never ever will now the pain and mental anguish you caused me when I was a child. The countless threats you made against my mother to have her thrown in jail, have me taken away from her, my family. You will NEVER KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME! Belittling me, telling me I will never achieve college, education, happiness.

You left us alone, you ran off to have your dream job with the worst human possible. My wicked step mother who harbored the same hatred towards my mother and towards me for no reason other than existing. The endless torment I got growing up fearing losing my mother followed me all the way to my adulthood. Being away from her feels like the world would end if I'm gone more than a week.

And then you struck the final blow rejecting me as your daughter when I transitioned. You didn't want a daughter either, you didn't want me at all. I'm still broken mentally, I have anxiety's and fears that will never go away because of you. You did this to me. It is all your fault father.

[Bayard]

1. I'm so sorry you had to endure this,

And still are.

[vercetti2021]

5. Truly I'll never be able to get over it

18 years of constant mental abuse just can't be undone. Parents never consider what they do to their own kids that will forever scar them until they day they die.

[OldBaldy1701E]

10. This scene says it all.

Keanu Reeves and Diane Wiest.

[vercetti2021]

11. Absolutely love that movie

Because that's kind of how I grew up honestly. Except like I love my mom to death I still do I still love my mom she's my best friend. I never had any desire to want to go live with my father at all and it's true any dick can be a father and she told her son that he had a lousy dad.

I had a male figure in my life though pretty much the entire time I had my grandfather that instilled a lot of his good morals into me and I had my step dad still and he let me explore a lot of different things out there that I never seen before like sports and whatnot.

But it's always really hard to kind of think like you know any man in your life your grandfather and stuff like it doesn't seem to always match like having a father and then your father just hating you mostly your life like wanting to spite your mother because he hated my mom for no reason and he used me to get to her thus damaging me in the process.

And then I went to his house last year completely out of the closet as a trans woman and he rejected me he said he didn't want anything to do with me anymore. And I was expecting it and I made peace with that. He never wanted a son and he definitely did not want a daughter

[Karadeniz]

2. I am so sorry for how much you've been hurt. I have a hard time forgiving the people who hated

me and hurt me for decades. Oh, well.....

[vercetti2021]

4. Had a bad memory hit today

It triggered a lot of repressed memories I had. I hate decluttering stuff and boom something that reactivates said past memory.

[Karadeniz]

6. I know...

[mia]

3. I'm so sorry for your pain.

I wish you peace and comfort.

[gay texan]

7. He can't hurt you now

He will get his in the end

[vercetti2021]

8. He can't now

But the damage is forever

[gay texan]

9. no, No, NO!!!!!!!

Damage is only temporary!!!!! Damage is a thing, a construct; its something we can take or leave.

We learn from damage, we adapt from damage, we OVERCOME damage.

My dear Vercetti, you may feel that damage controls you, but it is the exact opposite. WE CHOOSE TO LET DAMAGE CONTROL US.

You have the power to turn damage off......

We have the power to send a gigantic middle finger to damage!!!!! Fuck damage!!!!

[vercetti2021]

12. Well it's not just that easy to just turn it off

18 years of abuse like that can never really truly go away no matter what you do and no matter how many times you talk to somebody about it or see a therapist it's just not something that goes away

[Phoenix1960]

13. Freedom

I resonate with you and your post. Had similar trauma. My paternal grandfather had epilepsy from a head injury. I had a craniotomy May 2014 for access left temporal lobe from chronic sinusitis. I had a seizure risk from procedure. I almost died. Today I am seizure free 9+ years and my paternal grandfather's legacy. I hope your father's abuse will not haunt you forever