Hey guys, I'm still alive, and doing really well.
I know it sounds like a parody of Bradley Cooper's Pat in Silver Linings, but I'm happy. I needed a big break from DU, I've lurked but almost never posted. I thought I'd do a quick update, not a novel as in the past.
So, the good -- in March, I found a new "new pdoc" who agreed with my therapist, not bipolar, but PTSD mixed with a healthy dose of anxiety last summer. And, the new treatment plan -- nada drugs, just keep working on my cognative behavior therapy, which involves staring down the things that trigger me. So, I've revisited the hospital, walked at night some of the routes I walked last summer when I was so upset, and so on and so forth. Some things still bother me, but just a little bit, just that feeling of tense in the pit of your stomach, nothing I can't talk myself out of in about 30 seconds by telling myself this is now, that was then, then is gone. Also good, well, great, I hope -- she decided to take me off lamictal, started tapering off end of March.
Now the bad -- she decided to take me off lamictal, and a few days later, all Hell broke loose physically. Mentally no issues, I'm still a happy camper. Physically, started having some weird symptoms, tremor, fatigue, dizziness, nausea. It hit me very suddenly, the first day was at the gym, I was working out, felt weird, like a low blood sugar thing, started to shake, an hour and a lot of honey and orange juice later, I kind of staggered to my locker after sitting for an hour, and had to ask the guy next to me to unlock it because I couldn't hold my hand steady. Went to both doctors several times, had labs done, then found an "integrative medicine specialist" to coordinate/help. She ordered a TON of labs, they drew like 12 vials of blood, and .... I'm anemic with a lot of weird blood numbers, and she was going over the labs and sent me to my PCP for orders for a complete cardiac workup, so I see a cardiologist in about 10 days.
But, I'm happy. Work is good, home is a lot better, I'm kind of disappointed that this is cutting into my fitness program, since I don't feel up to doing what I want to be doing. But, still plugging along, next week I start the swimming lessons I've wanted to take.
I hope all is well with all of you. Sorry for leaving abruptly, I just really needed a big break from all of this, from my anxiety over it, and it's done me a lot of good. I won't be a stranger, I will probably post a lot more in the Lounge because I like everyone there.
Have a great weekend. I'm going to try to get yard work done and plant my vegetable garden and flowers. Crappy spring here, very cold in April, snow on Mother's Day, and it rains every weekend or is cold. Finally, some summer-like weather this weekend, but with heavy rain. I'm doing it no matter what, even if I have to wear my Frogg Toggs raingear to do it.
D.
= new reply since forum marked as read
I'm glad you're doing so well...
Have fun out in the garden!
and would be good if, as you do, 'telling myself this is now, that was then, then is gone' worked for me. Not sure it does, but the tense feeling doesn't incapacitate me as depression couple years ago, due to sociopath husband, did.
VERY HAPPY to read of your success, and sorry, Den, it took me so long to get back to you.
and it sounds like things are pretty good.
happy to see you 
good luck
