I struggle with isolation

[nadine_mn]

Howdy

I have a myriad of diagnoses - depression, PTSD, borderline personality disorder and for whatever reason, I really tend to isolate myself.

I never thought too much of it, as an only child of a single parent I am used to being alone. I make a great first impression but have a horrible tendency to burn out people and have very few lasting relationships. The only one that I have is my husband of 17 yrs (go figure the daughter of mother who has been married/divorced 5 times can make a marriage work) and he is amazing. He is also a bit of a loner and has never really had any friends, esp once we moved from his home state of Iowa to Minnesota 14 yrs ago.

It is really hard to make friends in a non-work environment, esp if you don't have kids (at least as a woman). So many meet-up groups are geared to towards parents.

Last year I really was isolating myself as a coping skill or symptom of depression- I could go weeks without leaving the house. I recently finished a partial hospitalization program at the hospital - 3 weeks of groups therapy from 9-3 everyday. That really shook me up. The effect of getting out and being around people again made a huge difference in my depression - more than any medication ever has.

Now that the program is over - I find myself falling back into the same old habits. Yesterday I did make it out - went to the Y and to an intake for another outpatient therapy program. Today I found out that the outpatient program, while covered by insurance, will still be cost prohibitive with our portion of the co-insurance.

I know what I need to do - get out, volunteer, find a part time job,blah blah - I know all of that. It is just so hard to do. Not just mentally, but physically. I am extremely overweight (400 lbs) and embarrassed at my huffing and puffing just walking across the room. Walking a 1/2 mile yesterday wore me out. I was doing really well a few years ago - working out 3x a week and working on my stamina, then the last two years (esp last year) I completely checked out.

So I guess now I am looking for any helpful online or free resources anyone can think of to help make sure I get out of my house if not daily at least every other day so I stay well?

[retrowire]

1. hello!

So it's called isolation is it?

I too, find comfort in hiding away. especially when guests are over, sometimes in the middle of conversation I'll decide I'm uncomfortable and will go sit in my bedroom alone.

Your isolation seems much greater than mine, what with wanting to stay inside and not go out so much.

you know what you have to do, you stated that so theres proof you have control over this.

here's my suggestion to conquer the going out thing. are you able to go out more often with your husband? him, as a supportive partner could accompany you to go out. perhaps to another place that offers the comfort of isolation like a movie theater?

keep that up until the comfort starts to come back and then gradually move on to less isolated activities, like volunteering, going to a sport event or something like that?

well, that's my 2 cents, sorry if it's bad.

[jonno99]

2. K&R. My family also has also struggled with mental health issues. Sometimes the challanges

seem insurmountable.

Best of luck to you.

[LiberalArkie]

3. As a single person who has been a loner most of his life and Mildly schizophrenic and bi-polar

I can see where you are coming from. You need to just y get up and start walking some, put on the ear buds with your favorite music and get started. Then once you fill comfortable walking some get to a gym. There are plenty of people there that will help you. I would be dead now if I had not started out at the gym.

Mine may thing is asthma and heart problems. I am only 10% body fat, as a child I was probably at 5% or 6%. I had so little fat I could not swim, no flotation at all. Now I am fighting all the mental things I had as a young adult that comes back when you get older. Almost 68 now. I have to get back to the gym, I was going 3 times a week just doing cardio and really enjoying life. I dropped off after I was having some chest pain. My cardiologist just told me to get back to the gym and at the present time he finds nothing major with me.

Exercise is one of the main things that everyone says to do for depression, I think they are right.