Has anyone here had a sister, brother, other with Borderline Personality Disorder?

[rainy]

ave BPD sister and she decided to make me her target from Thanksgiving to Christmas. She told my family lies about me not being supportive of her, that I was this and I was that and she was sooooooooo hurt and such a big victim of me not supporting her in her effort to make all the rest of the family hate on her son because she said he owed her money.

My crime? I told her, because she is so generous and that I remembered mom and dad being so upset with her for GIVING her son and his wive money from an inheritance, that I believed and remembered it being a gift that she gave them. That is the way her son and wife remembered it too.

She beat up on me emotionally and verbally and and made my family believe all her drama and lies to the point that they made comments to me about my "support" of her.

Her poor son tried everything he could to let her know he would pay her back, monthly payments etc.... He has always had to appease her as not to upset her and let the BPD monster out of the box.

He left her when he was in Elementary school to live with his dad.

He says he has suffered so much mental anguish over the toxic relationship over the years.

Anyway I got so sick with emotional abuse and confusion with family reactions that I developed severe anxiety and insomnia.
In addition I had taken a too high amount of b6 which is also toxic and causes insomnia and anxiety so I got the double whammy and was very sick. I lost 12 pounds.
Im in good hands now with a CBT therapist and am almost recovered but it was a hell I wish on no one.

I just learned that my sister had BPD, and the knowledge was so eye opening. After all these years, wish I had know sooner.
Would have saved a lot of suffering🙁

[Tobin S.]

1. To be clear here, you're talking about borderline personality disorder, correct?

I'm not always sure what people mean by BPD. I think people sometimes use it to signify bipolar disorder as well.

[PoindexterOglethorpe]

2. I assumed BPD meant Bipolar Disorder also.

You might want to clarify.

[tymorial]

3. I have had a few patients over the years and I suspect my mom is

Personality disorders exist within a spectrum and not all borderlines are the same. The diagnosis is stigmatized and the media hasn't helped. Borderlines are often painted as cruel and calculating. Treatment varies by the individual with varying degrees of success. A lack of successful treatment combined with stigma can make situations worse so it is not uncommon to delay diagnosis for a time if there is any question other mental health factors are involved.

All that being said there do tend to be some common traits among those who are diagnosed as borderline; fear of abandonment, difficulty with relationships and mood irregularity. Borderlines may base their value and self worth upon their relationships, sometimes with someone who they particularly value (favorite person.) It is this latter trait which has caused me question my mother.

Personality disorders are a complex subject and no one is the same even within the same diagnosisis. How a person with BPD reacts to perceived threats to their relationships and emotional distress derives from their own personal experience, behavioral patterns and environmental factors.

I cant comment on your sister specifically but your experience isn't uncommon. Conflict causes stress in everyone, especially relationship conflict. Borderlines are generally hyper aware their emotional state and may react strongly to prevent harm.

I hope you and your family are able to obtain peace and healing

[byronius]

4. I was raised by a classic case -- my father.

I've survived. But it was close.

There's a great book, 'The Psychopathic God', about Adolf Hitler. The author is a well-known psychotherapist who skillfully argues that Hitler was BPD.

[rainy]

7. Wow thanks! I'll look for the book:)

[enough]

5. I have a close relative who has struggled with certain elements of Borderline

Personality Disorder, causing much anguish for everyone involved.

This person has found lasting transformative help at an outpatient clinic based on the work of therapist Marsha N. Linehan. The particular form of therapy is called Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT). This therapy takes quite a lot of focus and time commitment, so I would say the person really needs to want to change. There are also useful books using the insights of DBT to help family and friends get some understanding of what is going on and how to limit the psychic damage.

[dlk]

6. "I Hate You - Don't Leave Me" by Jerold Kreisman

I read this book several years ago and found it helpful. Good luck. BPD’s can tie your emotions in knots.

[rainy]

8. I'm going to read book next. I'm

three quarters through Stop Walking on Eggshells. Very good book!

[rainy]

9. Thanks you!

My nephew who confirmed the BPD diagnosis told me she
did DBT and was doing better but she stopped🙁