Confessions of a Cheating Vegan

[silverweb]

[font color="navy" face="Verdana"]I'm ovo-lacto vegetarian, not vegan, but I found this article to be chock full of good common sense and thought I'd share:

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I myself am a vegan of sorts and I'm here to tell you that it's not an easy life. You're OK when you can cook your own food (really), but going out is hard. Most restaurants offer very limited, unappetizing fare for people who don't eat meat or dairy. Grocery stores, while better than they used to be, still aren't great.

And you have to get used to that sickening silence on the other end of the line when you tell the person who's inviting you to dinner that you don't eat meat, cheese, fish, soup made from beef stock, or anything else he or she was planning to cook.

The way I handle that is…I cheat.

_more_

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[Warpy]

1. That's the only sensible way to handle it.

If someone honors you by cooking your food, eat it. You can always throw it up later if it offends you that much.

The exception is anaphylactic shock from one food or another. In that case, don't eat it, eat around it.

People who expect the world to tiptoe around their food preferences will find themselves very lonely.

[WhollyHeretic]

6. I don't care if other people eat meat I won't

and I'm not going to force myself to. My wife and I have dinner parties all the time and we tailor what we make to the guests we have coming. I always thought that's what a good host does.

My wife and I spend a lot of time with friends and family I guess they didn't get the memo about what selfish assholes we are for not eating something we are opposed to eating. Thank you. I never realized what terrible people we are.

[GinGin]

9. Agree!

That is was a good host does and I think you are very well mannered for doing it.

I cannot stand people who eat very specific things and try and force it on other people just because it is what ''they'' think is right.

You have to respect what everyone wants to do, don't get offended by it! I am a vegeterian and my boyfriend is definately a carnivore, I cook dinner for us, I cook him steak,he wants it,he likes it he can eat it!I am a vegeterian because I choose to be,and don't get me wrong it is hard,but I have found things I can replace meat with that doesnt mean that everyone wants to eat this stuff (btw my bf hates tofu!)

Everyone should eat what they want without being criticised, you are your own person with your own opinions and beliefs!

[noamnety]

10. That's what I'd expect from anyone with dietary restrictions

whether it's for health, morality or religious reasons. If I went to a party and people offered me a cigarette, as a nonsmoker I would never even think about accepting. If I were vegetarian, I imagine I'd have the exact same reaction.

[Major Nikon]

2. On the other side of that coin...

If I have someone coming over that I know is vegan, I can easily plan a menu that suits everyone. It's not that difficult.

[noamnety]

3. I have to disagree with warpy

I don't want anyone to feel obligated to eat something I made if it's against their morals. I was raised without food restrictions but my dad made a point of bringing me to passover at his friend's house once just so I would gain an appreciation of his jewish roots. I've had muslim friends. My daughter's a vegan.

It's more important for me to respect their moral or religious beliefs than for them to eat a pork chop just because I paid for it and threw it on a grill.

[Warpy]

5. Well, I tend to avoid morality vegetarians

and while I would never knowingly try to feed beef to a Hindu or pork to people who avoid it for religious reasons, I'm thinking more of the type of people who turn up with a long list of food fads and who refuse to eat around them if the hostess is serving something not on the list and complain about it.

Those people are bullies.

[noamnety]

8. That doesn't fit the definition of bully.

Last edited Tue May 15, 2012, 10:38 AM - Edit history (2)

The complaining is rude whether you are a guest or a host. But as long as neither party is pressuring the other to do something against their will, it's not bullying, it's self-determination. A vegan politely refusing a dish isn't bullying. A host using peer pressure to guilt them into eating it is bullying. If the vegan starts hassling the others there for their food choices, then you can make a case that it's crossed that line.

I have a sister in law who does some passive aggressive food shit with me. She knows the doctor told me I need to lose weight, and she knows that I went on a no-refined sugar, no wheat diet and I've been on that for almost a year now and am down 35 pounds. And she knows I am perfectly happy politely refusing potatoes or dessert and having a cup of coffee after dinner while others are having cake. But now she does this weird manipulative bullshit that from my perspective crosses into bullying. We were there for mother's day - 6 of us in total. And despite knowing that I always have just the coffee, no dessert, she comes out of her kitchen after dinner with 6 plated desserts without checking with me, each individually layered creations that she's just made, with layers of pound cake and whipped cream. There's one plate for each of us, and because it's the fresh whipped cream it's obvious she can't just store it in the fridge as leftovers, it'll be ruined if I don't eat it. She's done the same with individually plated ice creams - that she's bought and brought to a restaurant and had delivered to the table after dinner by the waiter without asking anyone there! And if I don't eat it it will melt and be ruined, there's no way to take it home.

I'm not sure what her motivation is, but whatever goes into the package of good hosting isn't quite there when you know you are serving something the guest doesn't want to eat, and you go out of your way to make sure there's no easy out for them.

(Edit for additional mother's day rant: also don't offer people coffee after dinner, and when they ask if it's decaf say yes if it really isn't. WTF, if I'm still up at 4:30am and have to get up at 6am I can tell you lied to me. That's just a shitty thing to do to people.)

[The empressof all]

4. I am mostly Vegan

I don't think of my sometimes altering my food options as cheating....I'm just eating some fish, or cheese or whatever once in a while. Honestly I never took a purity pledge when I embraced the Vegan eating. I didn't offer up my first born nor do I think I will collapse from solidified arteries if I eat some real Buttercream on my glutenie and egg filled birthday cake. I believe that eating a primarily Vegan diet is the best I can do for myself and for the world....but fundamentalism in any form is just kind of creepy. I don't expect my friends to accommodate my food preferences...though most of them do just as I tend to accommodate theirs when I cook for them. It's just a meal for goodness sake....eat what is best for you and don't worry about it.

[NJCher]

7. sugar

A lot of vegetarians don't realize that a lot of sugar is processed using animal bones.

It's pretty hard to stay 100 per cent vegetarian.


Cher

[beac]

11. Gel caps is another one.

"Gel" as in "gelatin" as in made from beef boiled cow bits and pieces. I've spent a lot of time searching for the supplements I want/need in vegetarian caps made from plant fibers. However, there is one prescription med I must have on hand for when my headache disorder spirals out of control. I'm sure its cap is made from gelatin. But, when my head is spasming enough to make my whole body seize up, I bite the bullet and down the cap.

As a vegetarian, I know I probably eat tiny amounts of other meat products unintentionally now and then (soups in restaurants, hors d'oeuvres at weddings, foods cooked on the same griddle as someone else's meat dish, etc.) and I try not to sweat it too much. As long as I am not accidentally fed enough to make me sick (vegetarians lose the enzymes to digest meat over time), I'm okay.

mr beac and I usually eat before an event where we are pretty sure there won't be much in the way of non-meat offerings. We never expect a vegetarian option unless we are with family or close friends. We aren't dinner party go-ers much, except for pot lucks where we always bring a delicious non-meat offering that can be enjoyed by all.

That said, if someone DOES invite us to dinner and we don't know them well, I will mention that we are vegetarians (technically ovo-lacto-pesca vegetarians) but are happy to eat salad and sides. In cases where we are to be the ONLY guests, I feel this is especially important so food doesn't go to waste and/or feelings aren't hurt--- but, like I said, it doesn't happen much.