5 Simple Things That Every Bad Cook Does Wrong

[Viva_La_Revolution]

http://www.cracked.com/blog/5-simple-things-that-every-bad-cook-does-wrong/

good info, with a heavy dose of humor

[Warpy]

1. They missed the worst one

6. Use paring knives for everything and never sharpen them.

Whenever I meet somebody who hates to cook and is a bad cook, I invariably find one worn down, dull paring knife and a bunch of pristine chef's, boning, and bread knives sitting in a dusty block. My first lesson always covers knives: how to hold them, how to fit your own hand, how to maintain them, and then how to use them. People who bitch about cutting up onions find it a revelation when they start to use a sharp chef's knife (Santoku or French) and cut them properly. The job is done too quickly for a single tear to form.

They turn into veggie choppin' fools. Using a boning knife to cut up a chicken instead of paying more money for a chicken in pieces is also a revelation. Then there's the bread knife on that first bread--usually Irish soda bread--they turn out. Who knew? Well, other than people who like to cook.

It also comes as a surprise to them that the bigger the knife, the fewer lacerations they'll have since the big blade protects their hands instead of threatening them.

Knives are central to everything in cooking. Once someone learns how to use the proper knife properly, the other stuff starts to fall into place.

Well, except for the fried chicken welded to the bottom of a skillet. I've had it go black in a stainless skillet and still not release. That's why my skillets now are Calphalon and used to be cast iron when I could lift them.

[NMDemDist2]

2. +1

my step mom is an excellent cook and had the worse knives in the world

i bought a good chef's knife to leave there for me and when i left she used it and ended up with a brand new set that she's still raving about :lol:

[Viva_La_Revolution]

3. that's a good one

reminds me I need to sharpen a few of mine

[Phentex]

4. Amen to that. The thing is you get really frustrated

at someone else's house when you are having to use bad knives. My sister is a great cook but her knives are horrible. I bought her a chef's knife so that I could use it when I'm there for the holidays.

[Retrograde]

12. When I used to cook at my mother's house

the best knife I could find was my Swiss Army knife - at least it had been sharpened in recent memory. My mother never liked to cook - I have no idea how I managed to learn.

[Paladin]

6. Sharp Knives Are A Lot Safer Than Dull Ones. (nt)

[Arkansas Granny]

7. That describes a friend of mine. I would go to visit her and would always cook while

I was there because she really doesn't enjoy it and I do. However, her knives were enough to make me cuss. One year for Christmas I bought her a decent, but not too expensive, set of knives and she loves them. She is actually cooking more now than she has ever done before and now, when I cook at her house, I can slice, dice and chop without using brute force.

[Fumesucker]

8. Diving into my first post here in C&B since I'm a novice cook but kind of a knife person..

I found one of these knives at the thrift store the other day, didn't have the bowl but the knife is still pretty good for chopping up veggies on a regular flat cutting board after I sharpened it with a coarse diamond hone and then my el cheapo steel, rock it back and forth with an added walking motion and stuff just kind of falls apart.

I'm using it more and more as I get accustomed to it, quite convenient because I'm really limited on space, my kitchen is more like a galley than anything else.

It's an Alaska Cutlery ULU.. http://www.peasandcorn.com/cuttingbowl.asp

[Warpy]

9. The mezza luna and bowl is my favorite combo

Last edited Fri Aug 31, 2012, 01:35 AM - Edit history (1)

for chopping nuts or anything else firm enough to fly off a flat cutting surface. The bowl really does make all the difference and it's easy to control the size of the pieces. The food processor likes to turn them into dust, even with pulsing.

ETA: don't knock the galley kitchen. My favorite kitchen of all time was an 8x8 with a 22 inch stove, a small fridge and sink with cabinet. A homemade workbench below and open shelving all the way around it completed it. I could do everything in that kitchen without taking many steps, at all. I loved that craptastic Boston apartment kitchen and I've never had another one as good.

[Fumesucker]

10. I have my kitchen and four seat dining nook in 8' x 7' 6"

My former mother in law once had a galley style kitchen in a remodeled NY brownstone, it was really efficient to cook in because everything was about two steps away. Mine is so small I really lack for preparation area, I use a cutting board I made to fit one side of the sink to increase my work area.

I'd heard the term mezza luna but didn't realize it referred to a type of knife, the luna part is pretty clear though.

[Phentex]

5. I will add my mother in law's favorite thing to do...

If the biscuits aren't done, you just turn the oven temp up.

A few minutes later, they are burned on top and not done in the middle! YUM!

[Tab]

11. I loved the phrase "Crank the heat up to 'Hell'"

Not so much the reference to deep-fried semen. I don't want to go there.

And I don't know what a Fuck Muffin is, and since I'm nearly 50 and married, I probably shouldn't investigate further.