Cooking blunders I have made
When I was ten, I cooked spaghetti for the first time. I put it in cold water and brought it to the boil. It was inedible.
In 1974, I made some sweet and sour pork. When I went to thicken the sauce, instead of taking the Argo Cornstarch box (which is yellow) I grabbed the Arm & Hammer baking soda box, which is also yellow. Putting bicarbonate of soda into a vinegar solution made a remarkable mess.
Some years ago, a Jewish friend of mine got engaged, and I invited him to supper so my wife and I could meet his fiancée. When I asked my wife what we should make for them, she suggested ham. I said that I was not going to serve ham to Jews. She realized that would be a considerable gaffe, so she suggested a shrimp salad instead. At that point, I gave her a quick introduction to the Jewish dietary laws. We served roast chicken and vegetables with apple pie for dessert.
What are your stories?
= new reply since forum marked as read
Many of them involve eggs for some strange reason starting with the time (many, many moons ago) I wanted to make hard boiled eggs and boiled the water first and then dropped in the eggs - what a mess. I still can't seem to get the hang of poached eggs.
This wasn't exactly a cooking blunder - more a judgement blunder. I had roasted the Thanksgiving turkey and placed it on the platter to rest prior to carving which, as it turned out, was too near the counter edge. Our dog happily decided to take ownership of the bird and away it went, rolling across the kitchen floor, in slow motion it seemed. I scooped it up (hot, hot, hot!) and gave it a quick rinse, a toweling off and no one was the wiser. 
Some that come to mind:
Not checking the date on the yeast. My bread rolls became door stops.
Three words: "Lamb fried rice". Never again, despite the fact I love lamb.
Misread the recipe: 1 cup of red wine vinegar into a Vindaloo. Inedible. (It was 1 cup red wine, 2 TB red wine vinegar.)
I could go on, but I'll enjoy reading others comments for a good laugh.
cocoa mix. 
we've always put one in our mashers and figured it would work in polenta but it just wound up hard boiling. it was one of the few things i have made that went right into the trash 
And my forearms and hands look like I self-abuse 
When she was about 15 she decided to make chili. She did not brown the ground beef before adding the other ingredients, and only cooked it for 20 minutes or so. When no one would eat it, she put a dish of the concoction on the floor for the cat to eat. The cat sniffed at it and then tried to cover it up! 
and it being WAY too late to fix. 
Burned homemade dog food.
Many pudding mishaps. Gave up on from scratch pudding.
involved. I do like cooking with wine.
I keep my spices in glass jars, lined up alphabetically. Chili powder and cinnamon do look a lot alike. I was preparing a quick beans and rice for myself and added a big Tbs of red powder at the end.
When I started eating it I was ?What The....?? Then I realized what I had done. Yuk.
Luminous Animal, perhaps you and I should get together and do a little cooking. 
I used ground beef and your basic seasonings, cracker crumbs, catsup etc....BUT... I also added meat tenderizer! The end result, looked like baby food or oatmeal. 
Today, I am a successful, self taught home cook....
