Pets
Related: About this forumso I finally made the dreaded decision :(
I waited so long. I feel terrible that I let my baby suffer cuz I could not bring myself to face facts. Every time she would eat, or be active, I would think - there - she's going to be allright.
But in my heart I knew not.
So today I started contacting places to see if anyone can give me a vet who will give me a break to euthanize my cat. If not, then I will find out what my vet will charge if I don't have her cremated. And do that.
I'm relieved to have made the decision, and I know I should have done it long ago. I hope somehow my kitty can know I did the best I could.
TorchTheWitch
(11,065 posts)I think the hardest part about making the decision is just when to do it.
I'm so sorry you'll be losing your furbaby. I think all of us here have been through it and some or most more than once, and it never gets easier.
All we can do is our best, and you've done the best you could. Try to take heart in that.
CurtEastPoint
(18,552 posts)Having been in that same spot many times, it just wrenches your heart, but as you said, 'I did the best I could."
When I am gone release me and let me go.
I have too many things to see and do.
You must not tie yourself to me with tears.
Be thankful for our wonderful years.
I gave to you my love, you can only guess . . .
how much you gave to me in happiness.
I thank you for the love you have shown,
but now it's time I traveled on alone.
So grieve a while for me if grieve you must.
Then let your grief be comforted by trust.
It's only for a time that we must part,
so bless the memories within your heart.
I won't be far away, for life goes on.
So if you need me call, and I will come.
Though you can't see or touch me, I'll be near.
And if you listen with your heart, you'll hear.
All my love around you soft and clear.
And then when you must pass this way alone,
I'll greet you with a purr and say "Welcome Home!"
ellenrr
(3,864 posts)ellenrr
(3,864 posts)my brother just called to say he would pay for the cremation.
Which frees me from worrying about where am I gonna get the money.. to being able to grieve.
so sad..
thank you both for the kind words.
This is my 2nd time to grieve a cat, never gets easier, does it.
Voice for Peace
(13,141 posts)but I keep discovering that the love itself doesn't go away
and that's miraculous. The feeling, the memory, the smells,
the fur, it stays so vivid. And often it has felt to me that
when they leave their bodies, they become a part of the
everything everywhere and we are never apart.
Many tears ahead, let them shake you to the bones.
The human body knows how to grieve. It's not easy
being in these mortal bodies.
ellenrr
(3,864 posts)even before I made the decision, I started to see her when she wasn't there - out of the corner of my eye, a shadow, a passing..
Curmudgeoness
(18,219 posts)That decision is so difficult, and I know that I have always waited too long. But that is hindsight. When you are living through it, you can never be sure if they are suffering yet. Every time, I say that I will not wait so long next time....but I always do. It isn't a crime.
You did do the best that you could, and I am so sorry that you lost your kitty.
mopinko
(69,806 posts)but it is the loving thing to do. dont feel bad for taking your times with this decision. nobody comes to it easily with an old pet, for good reason. we love them and will miss them. we dont want to say goodbye!
dont kick yourself. just grieve. it's ok.
ginnyinWI
(17,276 posts)The one I volunteer will do it for a fee. Might be cheaper than the vet.
Sorry for your loss. Please give a home to a new kitty if you can--there are so many out there than need one.
Mr.Bill
(24,104 posts)Her ashes were not comingled with others and I received them after the cremation.
My vet wanted over $100 for cremation.
ellenrr
(3,864 posts)I called all the local animal shelters and aspca's and the only one that was more reasonable was $50, which is better, but I would have had to drive some 50 miles, and I couldn't do that. Thanks both of you for the suggestion tho.
I guess NJ is not very animal-friendly.
shenmue
(38,503 posts)I live near a VCA animal hospital. They took care of our dog Keisha last year. Very peaceful. Charged $95.
QED
(2,730 posts)But it is the loving and compassionate thing to do.
CountAllVotes
(20,854 posts)I know how you feel. I let Old Kitty go on and on (she lived to be 18 years old) and the last couple of years of her life were not that great.
I finally had to do something and I knew it, and so I did what was the right thing for her.
It is sad to see a cat suffer and be sick.
You are doing the right thing even though it feels like plain awful awful awful.
Take care of yourself during this difficult time!
catbyte
(34,174 posts)our lives, but we are so much richer for having done so. Gentle crossing to your baby, and peace to you. I have tears in my eyes for you.
virgdem
(2,119 posts)We've all been there. It's the hardest decision we all have to make and it can be devastating, but in your heart, you know that the decision to say goodbye to your beloved kitty is the right one. I have waited too long for some of my kitties and I've regretted not ending their suffering sooner, but in the end, it is the kindest thing you can do. I wish you much peace as you grieve for your fur baby. When the time is right, and you will know when that is, you will give your heart to another kitty/puppy.
beam me up scottie
(57,349 posts)I think sometimes our loved ones rally for us, they see us struggling so they try.
Just be there for her, she knows.
bigwillq
(72,790 posts)ellenrr
(3,864 posts)Monday she started eating.
All this week she has been returning to her usual behavior.
altho she is still so bony.
but she started again sleeping in my bed, and on my lap.
she went outside.
It's weird that I was prepared to have her put down. This happened once before. I had made an appt for her to be euthanized, and then she rallied.
Best as I can figure from talking, and from reading many posts, this is not that uncommon with cats.
Probably she is slowly failing, but at the moment she is practically like normal.
I am so relieved. But I am not going to get my hopes up that all is fine. I must prepare myself for the end.
But my kitty has decided - the time is not now.
oh, and I found a local vet who will do the job for only $60.00 when the time comes, so that is taken care of.
MadrasT
(7,237 posts)I have one who is in a similar situation. Fortunately she seems to be responding to her new medication so we will see what happens.
They do let you know when it is time. For me, the anticipation of it is always worse than the actual happening.
Best to you both.
dsc
(52,130 posts)Hershey saved me from making the decision though I fear I might have waited too long myself. Scooter, who I got a couple of weeks before Hershey passed, is doing well though so it helps ease the pain.
ellenrr
(3,864 posts)hello,
I want to let you know the outcome, and thank you all again for your kindness.
On Nov 11 I took kitty for her final trip to vet.
She had stopped eating again, and then she seemed to lost her footing, she would wobble, and not be able to jump to her chair.
well, one never knows when is the right time, but this was my decision to make, so I made it.
5 days previous to this I was shocked to learn from a newspaper that someone I knew from 40 years ago had died of a stroke.
so have been thinking of death and life and 'what does it all mean' a lot. My friend was 69 and in the peak of his career, and beloved by so many.Had no symptoms, just here, and then not.
after my cat died, the first 24 hours I was inconsolable. I cried continually. I didn't eat or do anything. Now, 10 days after, I still think I hear her.
last nite in a dream I heard her meow very loudly. (which she did if I wasn't fast enough to feed her!)
But at least I no longer think I see her at the corner of my vision. Sometimes I come home and do not expect to see her little self.
the hardest thing for me right now is that after a few days (at which time I received utmost concern and feeling from friends and the small number of relatives that I have), now I feel like everybody has moved on, and that no one knows how much I miss her and how lonely her loss has left me.
I feel this big hole in my life that will never go away.
I understand that people have busy lives, and that no one is being unkind to me; just they have things on their minds, or perhaps they think I don't want to talk about Weasie.
I really wish tho that someone would ask me, 'now it has been 10 days, how are you feeling?'
thanks for listening.
virgdem
(2,119 posts)but it was time and you did the right thing to let her go. I've lost 7 kitties and it never gets any easier to lose them-each one is precious and the loss is devastating. I'm still mourning my Abby, we lost her to cancer last August. I can only tell you that it gets easier with time. You will start to remember the good times you had with her and treasure those memories. I'd like to suggest that you search out a local pet bereavement group that you can attend. I hope there is one in your area. I wish you peace as you deal with the loss of your beloved kitty!
ellenrr
(3,864 posts)I realized how sick she had been. Ya know, it happens gradually sometimes, and I feel sad that her condition had deteriorated so much more than I had known.
but looking at pictures of her in the pink, was very helpful, as I try to remember the good times, and not to think only about her as an ill kitty.