Okay needing talk this out (in a sense) advice or telling me I'm going the wrong..

[Catmusicfan]

So as some of you know I've adopted three cats from a rescue center. Now Mollie (aka Princess Mollie aka Queen mean- when she is being a hissing bad ass.) has adjusted for the most part. Not afraid of husband or me. Craving attention.

Now about a month before we got Mollie we got Manhattan (Manny) and Brooklyn (Brooks) we had been told they where found Feral when they were kittens 4months old The rescue had them since then They are 1year old. It makes no sense to me how Brooks especially but Manny as well are terrified of human touch. I have worked for all this time to now be able to pet Manny BUT even when he wants pet we do an apprehensive movement where he false ducks away then slowly lowers his head and we I pet him he enjoys it but does relax. He plays and he does roll on the floor exposing his chest but I move to quickly or get to close just to walk past and he runs.

Husband was away for a few days. During that time Manny around me Brooks came up stairs from basement and would be around. Would sit comfortable in the room. Husband is home has NEVER harmed them but since day one they are nervous around him. Won't come near me that much.

It just makes no sense that if they had been with the rescue for 8 months they should not be so afraid of human touch unless abused some how.

I am just frustrated because Brooks actually sat 3feet away from me not scared yesterday and now it was like this weekend didn't happen. How do I help them?

[applegrove]

1. You can get a pheromone spray at the pet store that causes cats to

relax. Try that for a bit and see if you and hubby Don't make inroads.

[Catmusicfan]

2. Thanks.

[Rhiannon12866]

12. Great idea! Feliway!

When I brought a cat in from outdoors, she was very fearful, hid all the time. I got advice from Alley Cat Allies, and they suggested Feliway. Turns out my cat wasn't a true feral, poor little thing had gotten lost when a neighbor moved, but I did use the Feliway and it now comes in a diffuser. It's a synthetic cat pheromone that's supposed to help cats feel more comfortable - including in a new environment, which my cat had in common with the OP.

http://www.feliway.com/us/FELIWAY

[ginnyinWI]

3. this site might help.

http://www.lifewithcats.tv/2015/01/26/2-tips-to-socialize-feral-frightened-cats-and-kittens/

There are others--just Google "socializing a feral cat" and see what you can find. Good luck!

[WhiteTara]

4. Picabo has been with us for 3 and 1/2 years

and he too was a feral kitty. I am sure he was a dump cat who had been abused. Or he ran away from the abuse. He lived in the forest behind our house for several months as I can understand now. I had another cat who was very jealous of his territory and kept all other animals away. When Elvis died, Picabo started coming closer to the house. By this time it was deep winter and very very cold and snowy. He knew that it was curtains for him so he allowed me to pick him up and bring him into the basement. Then he hid for about 3 weeks. He loved having the cat box and canned food. He wouldn't eat the dry food and I realized he has problem with regular food, so now we buy food with no fillers and he is a happy cat. BUT, he doesn't not like to be picked up, still and he has to be petted a certain way. He also can't purr. But with patience you just go on and in time, they should be easier with you both.

[Catmusicfan]

6. I see. My fear is we might be harming them.

[WhiteTara]

14. No no no

You are being their savior! Give them time, you'll adjust!

[PoindexterOglethorpe]

5. People often misunderstand what feral actually means. It doesn't just mean

not fully socialized to humans. It means the feral cat has all the behaviors and only the behaviors of the wild ancestors. It is crucial that kittens have contact with humans in the very earliest weeks of their lives, or they may well never be a kitty who will ever be comfortable around humans.

Some cats who are supposedly feral will adjust very well to living with humans, but I suspect that those cats actually had enough contact with people in those early weeks to make a huge difference. A cat that was once a well-treated pet and who somehow winds up as a stray is an example. Sometimes people will point to such a cat and call it feral, but it's not. And once put in a good home, it will revert back to being a cat well-adjusted to humans.

It is possible that your cats were abused, possibly by a man, which is why they are so much more nervous around your husband. Or it may just be that his being away for a few days made them respond very warily. Plus, during that time they were with the rescue people, how much one on one cat handling did they receive? My guess is, not that much. Not enough to acclimate them to humans very much.

I am a cat person myself, and I do hope that these wonderful creatures will adjust completely to your home.

Oh, and how long have they lived with you so far? Plus, they may feel more secure if they are confined to a smaller part of your home, rather than being able to hide out in the basement.

[Catmusicfan]

8. Between 6 to 8 weeks. I really want them happy and feeling comfortable.

I worry I might be doing harm because I do break up any fights Manny has with Mollie and I remind miss Hissie that she can't be the only kitty. I am trying g to find a balance of gentle discipline I have never hit them just clap my hands together and a sharp hey. Or is that harming them?

[WhiteTara]

15. no, you are doing just fine!

[Catmusicfan]

16. Thanks...I am probably parnoid I just never dealt with rescues. older rescues

I've always had kittens about 8 wks old

[PoindexterOglethorpe]

17. 6 to 8 weeks isn't very long.

Keep in mind that cats are natural loners, and it can take an extraordinarily long time for cats who weren't raised together to be able to even tolerate each other at close quarters. I know, I've been through that.

If Manny and Mollie fight a lot, it makes no difference who starts it, but you might want to confine one to one part of the house, the other to another. Let them see and smell each other, but not be in the same physical space. I wouldn't think a hand clap and a sharp hey would be harmful. Just as with humans, rewarding good behavior can be more effective than punishing the bad, and it's even better if you can somehow arrange it so that there's no chance to be bad, as in fight, better yet.

Introducing cats to each other can be a very long process, and if your cats are truly feral, or extremely close to it, they may never be happy to be in the same place.

I used to watch Jackson Galaxy's "My Cat From Hell", but lately haven't been able to find the videos on the internet (no TV here, so I watch on-line or on DVDs), but I've learned a lot of interesting things from that show. I believe he's written several books, which might be of some help.

My story might be minimally helpful: I got a cat from the local shelter, and she adjusted to us quite well. A few months later we decided to adopt another, so I took one home from my vet. She'd been a stray that had been handed over to them. I did not have any clue that I couldn't just put them together, even in a decent sized home (2 stories, 2,000 square feet) and expect them to sing Kumbaya together. Eventually they got along. A few years later, a cat showed up in our front yard and we decided to take her in. She was quite friendly, had clearly been a well-cared for pet and I have no idea how she wound up on the street. Because the first two cats were indoor cats, this new one had no idea there were other felines in the household, and she was not at all happy when she found out.
We did start by confining the new cat to one bedroom for a couple of weeks. Probably not long enough, and I learned later that I should have replaced the closed door with a baby gate to let them learn a bit more about each other before allowing new cat free roam of the house. Many times, for at least six months, I'd come home and find fur all over the upper hallway. And for a very long time new cat would be upstairs and the other two downstairs, or vice versa.
A year or so later I got divorced and moved to another state, now renting a 900 square foot apartment. By that time they'd all been together long enough that they got along. No more fighting. They'd even all three get on my bed with the newest cat pretending the other two weren't there, and vice versa.
An important part of my story is that all three cats had originally been in good homes, weren't feral. But cats are solitary creatures, although with the right kind of encouragement and physical space, can learn to get along with each other.

Hang in there. My three cats have all gone on to (as I like to put it) that great litterbox in the sky. Someday I'll have a cat or three again. When I'm ready for another one, I'll go to a shelter and take home the oldest one they have there, because so many people prefer a kitten, and the older ones also deserve a new home.

The final thought I want to leave with you is that your darlings have been with you a relatively short time. Do some additional research on the topic of feral cats and introducing new cats to each other, and eventually it should be good. You may wind up with a cat or two who will never want to be petted, or never curl up alongside you, but you've still given a home to three very special creatures.

[matt819]

7. Our experience with feral cats

We've adopted feral cats as barn cats. We have two at the moment who've been with us for 4+ years. They were rescued as kittens and we got them when they were a bit older. We feed them at the barn but we can't get close to them. One we can get to within 3-4 feet but then he retreats. His partner won't let us get near st all. Granted, this is not comparable to trying to domesticate a feral cat st home. But we don't think they could acclimatize to life in a house or to the cats and dogs therein.

[shenmue]

9. Best of luck

[Warpy]

10. you have to convince them you're not only brilliant and harmless, you've got TREATS

and if they want some of that tuna or salmon they're smelling, they have to come close enough to take it out of your hand.

Once they're comfy enough doing that, get a fishing pole type toy and play with them.

Food and play are how I've always tamed semi feral cats down.

They had a really rough start, so be prepared to be in this for the long haul. They might never be lap fungus, but you should be able to get them to tolerate scritches.

[Laffy Kat]

11. Look, I've got one that was bottle-fed by humans.

Her mom rejected her and she was cuddled and fed by a human mom until I adopted her (young) at six weeks. She has NEVER been mistreated. Still, she is so scary and tense and bitey. It's her personality and I love her to death but we all have to be well-aware of her signals and limits.

[Silver Gaia]

13. Some cats just don't LIKE to be petted.

We had a whole tribe of cats who were all born in our house, and had been touched and cuddled and doted on from Day 1. They were as socialized as any cat could be. One of those cats, a female, would ALWAYS shrink away from your hand when you tried to pet her. She had never been abused in any way. She just didn't like it... unless she came to you and ASKED for it. If she came up and rubbed on your hand, then that was her signal. Then she would drive you crazy wanting to be petted, yet even then, she would sometimes flinch away from being touched. And when she was done, she was done. That was it. It had to be on her terms.

[haele]

18. Time and patience is the only way to overcome a scared kitty.

One of my first two feline boys was afraid of everyone but me, would hide under the bed whenever the doorbell rang, and he'd actively avoid being touched by anyone else in the household for the most part. Strangely enough, if he was on a leash, he was friendly to people who wanted to pet him and would actively seek out petting.
Probably because for the most part, when they were on their leash in public, it was going to the pet stores and they could wander about for treats and toys while tethered to the cart. Around the house, leash time meant wandering about in the backyard laying in the California sun, exploritating the lawn and garden with all those bugs, lizards, birds, and field mice; and perching in the fruit trees.
Inside the house, he only warmed to one or two people enough to come out and be in the same room with them in his 16 years of life.
He was never abused, had been raised in a household and properly weaned - he just latched onto me and the littermate who I brought home with him and that was pretty much the extent of any interaction he really wanted out of life.

An elderly female we have now mistrusted other human females for a good long time after we retrieved her from the pound. It took her about two months to trust anyone in the house - other than the more maternal of my old boy cats, who would curl up near her wherever she was hiding and purr away until she would come nearer to him. Eventually, she took to my husband - and only him for a year, then she started warming up to other men or older boys who would come over. It took four years for her to sit in my lap. Now she's okay with smaller humans that she knows, but still a bit skittish with children and women she doesn't know. I suspect she was a man's cat for a few years, and some girlfriend, wife (or other female who felt she should be loved and respected more than a cat) had come into his life and abused her and/or made him get rid of her.

So - Time and Patience is the only way to gain a cat's trust and ally any fears it might have. And even then, you might just have a cat or two who are just happy with a small, controllable world.

Haele

[Catmusicfan]

19. Thanks