I am bisexual and I want to come out to my hating fundamentalist

[Maraya1969]

Christian family. I can't stand their bullshit anymore. Both my brother and sister in law posted pro-those people who discriminated against making a cake and flowers for 2 lesbians and 2 gay men's weddings.

I've ranted about why they are so obsessed about homosexuals, why they follow THAT ONE RULE in the Old Testament and other things that I'm sure people are aware of.

They saying fucking nothing! Zero! I've had discussions with my brother over email though.

He is a Presbyterian minister and so is she.

I had a relationship with a woman for 8 years when I was in my 30's and she died. I was so devastated that night that I called my brother thinking that he might be of help, (dumb) My sister in law got on the phone and was nice to me but then after we got off the phone my brother called back and yelled at me for walking them up!!!!!!!!

But a few years after she died I started feeling myself going back the straight zone again which I actually found upsetting. But I have not had to deal with personal things with them since. And my brother and I have a better relationship now since out mom had a stroke and we had to start talking and we both have been trying to be nice to each other.

But I have fucking had it. Maybe my brother made a mistake by posting the first one about the cake fiasco but the sister in law should have known better because of the ranting I went on about the one my brother posted. Hers is from yesterday.

So how do I do this? I'm scared.

[xfundy]

1. Decide whether you can live without the relationship

with your brother and sis in law, because in my experience, I was shunned by fundie relatives. I'm fine with it because I don't care what they think, but your milage may vary.

[shenmue]

2. Courage

[irisblue]

3. do you have a local Stonewall group?

There are counselors at our local one and coming out groups, I really would suggest talking to someone there. And why do you want to do this now? what are you looking for yourself here? What ever you decide, we're here for support, listening ears and

[Warpy]

4. Realize that you will in all likelihood lose them

If your mom needs you, maybe you should hold off a bit until she goes. Then you can drop the bomb with the greatest of glee.

However, dropping it now might get you prevented from seeing your mother, let alone participating in her care.

You can't stop bigoted idiots from being bigoted idiots. You can only get rid of them. This might not be the best time for that. However, you're the best judge of that.

[DURHAM D]

5. It seems to me that you are already out to them.

It doesn't seem like you can change them so I am not sure what more you can actually accomplish. They will never say you are right and we were wrong.

I know you are mad but what do you think you would gain? I have made it my life long habit not to share with anyone who won't honor my life. I don't give a damn about the haters and in the 21st century there is plenty of information out there and so frankly I don't even consider it my job to educate them.

[nightscanner59]

6. There is a helpful group that may be in your area-- PFLAG

But do weigh carefully, frankly if it's even worth it... and welcome to your new "family", the LGBT community. My parents were not very religious, just sort of idiotically redneck. But my extended family on my mother's side tend towards the fundamentalist idiocy, I found out the hard way that with the exception of one world-travelled uncle, attempts to rekindle any relations with them were futile. Once it was known I was "different", holy shit did they treat me as a pariah (one of my cousins even saw to it his children were visiting elsewhere and actually said something to the effect he didn't want them to catch my disease) even on a visit I rode my motorcycle thousands of miles to make.
Can I make a suggestion using to worn out old adages? 1. Absence makes the heart grow fonder 2. Curiosity kills the cat. Just cutting them off communication can sometimes make them wonder enough to attempt rekindling ties if you're close with them.
The funny part is that each LGBT "coming out" does more favor for the LGBT community at large than often for the one that does it. It certainly cuts the bullshit about who really cares about you vs. going overboard about their selfish heavenly award awaiting if they just maintain their hateful bigotry despite the language they attempt to mask that with.
PFLAG can help. Some gay folks who just couldn't face the coming out alone just brought their bigots to a PFLAG meeting. Nothing like the power of groups, meeting others who have LGBT family that gets them out of their bigotry enforcement comfort zone... to a new accepting comfort zone that can be supportive to you and them as well.

[Maraya1969]

7. Back when I was in a sole gay period my mother attended a group like this

The funny thing is both my parents accepted me and my Mom went out of her way to understand.

My sister in law removed her post so that is a good sign.

Thank all of you for your help.