Gun Control & RKBA
Related: About this forumMy cat pooped on the floor at 3 AM
I got up at 3 AM to go to the bathroom when I discovered it. My husband and I sleep in separate rooms in different parts of the house for comfort reasons. Should I just leave the mess there until morning? No, it would SMELL to high heaven. If I cleaned it, it would probably wake up my husband. Would he think I was intruder was in house? Since the garbage cans had already been taken out to street, I knew I would have to open the front door to take it outside to the cans.
I went through a LOT of mental images about this knowing he sleeps with a gun in his nightstand. Would he think I am a CRIMINAL invading the house in the middle of the night? What to do? Yes, I did have to think about this. I turned on every single light in the house. Would a burglar do that? Doubt it. Cleaned it all up and was about to take it outside through the front door when he got up and met me there. Thankfully, no gun in hand.
Why in the world should I even have to go through all these scenarios in my head to begin with?
Cleita
(75,480 posts)I scoop it up with TP and flush it down the toilet. It's no different than your poop as far as the loo and septic or sewer systems are concerned. It avoids the scenario of having to go outdoors to the trash cans, which I don't blame you for not wanting to do at three in the a. m.
petronius
(26,581 posts)elimination can be a sign of medical problems for your kitty, or perhaps a developing litter box aversion. Have you moved the box, or changed anything about it recently (new litter, less frequent cleaning, different surroundings)? Has your cat done this before, or shown other behavioral changes? I'd keep an eye out, and check with a vet if it continues. Hope the little critter is OK...
redwitch
(14,933 posts)That's a lot more concern worthy to me.
HockeyMom
(14,337 posts)than the cat missing his litter box.
clffrdjk
(905 posts)petronius
(26,581 posts)that she wants to have with her husband. (Certainly if I worried about something like that, I'd be addressing it with my spouse.) But without knowing either of them, I'm hard-pressed to imagine how anyone at DU is likely to have useful input...
redwitch
(14,933 posts)I felt worried for HockeyMom after what she posted. I don't know if that's useful or not but there it is.
ileus
(15,396 posts)and taking a dump in the bathtub if I failed to keep her litterbox clean.
They were twin Manx cats and both had to have their own box. The one kitty really got upset if you didn't clean her box at least 3 times a week.
Eleanors38
(18,318 posts)of unchanged litter. No problem with fresh water since she had her own john as well.
Arkansas Granny
(31,483 posts)It's terrible that you should be afraid in your own house.
pscot
(21,023 posts)then made a racket and jumped pack in bed. Let him clean it up when he stepped in it. That might have endangered the cat. You will notice that the 2nd amendment fans feel no particular responsibility for your plight. As far as they're concerned, the fact you live with a person who is both armed and somewhat unstable, is your problem. I guess if he shot you it would be your fault for failing to communicate.
clffrdjk
(905 posts)Please tell me why I should feel responsible for what goes on in her household.
And for my concern well so far I have been the only one to even ask why she has not left an environment in which she feels threatened. What exactly should I be doing to fix her situation?
beevul
(12,194 posts)"You will notice that the 2nd amendment fans feel no particular responsibility for your plight."
How are "2nd amendment fans" responsible for the choices of that poster?
Please, proceed.
clffrdjk
(905 posts)Surly you can expand on your prior post.
Or maybe defend it.
Or at the very least acknowledge your footinmouth disease.
pscot
(21,023 posts)You folks don't argue. You just go through the doxology, as set forth by the NRA.
clffrdjk
(905 posts)Giving me the step by step process for dealing with an idiot who holds me personally responsible for the home life of a person I have zero connection with whatsoever.
You need a better argument then screw you NRA dude especially when you are coming from so far out of right field.
This is an awful strange place to be for a person who doesn't want to have a discussion.
Eleanors38
(18,318 posts)Scoop up cat turd in T.P.
Drop above in john.
Flush.
Repeat as necessary.
____
What do you suggest?
Straw Man
(6,613 posts)You folks don't argue. You just go through the doxology, as set forth by the NRA.
"Can't refute, so I'll just take my ball and go home."
Stay classy.
Starboard Tack
(11,181 posts)I am no fan of 2A. The way it is interpreted today is a recipe for disaster, but keeping a gun in a drawer at home, I have no issue with, unless there are kids or frightened spouses around.
We don't know her husband is unstable, only that they have very different feelings about having guns around. This is a relationship and communication issue, which nobody here is qualified to fix.
sarisataka
(18,220 posts)While my wife is not as opposed to guns as the poster, we are quite different on our views. We were able to respectfully discuss the matter and agree on storage arrangements while allowing practical use if needed.
I would suggest therapy with a qualified couples councillor.
Starboard Tack
(11,181 posts)If you think your husband is likely to come out blasting and shoot an intruder, you should consider trading him in for one you can trust. You might also consider setting up a BR to BR alarm/communication system so that you can communicate during such events.
I had a girlfriend many years ago whose father kept am M-16 by his bed. One night he heard a noise, picked up the gun and fired one shot. The bullet passed through 3 walls, including the bathroom (Head height through the medicine cabinet mirror) and 2 other bedrooms. I asked him about the possibility of accidentally killing his wife, who had recruited me to replace the medicine cabinet. He replied, "Impossible, she doesn't have a key to the house and I was here alone." She was at their apartment in Queens, which of course was gun free.
Guns and spouses don't always go well together in houses. Bottom line is, you either trust him or you don't.
oneshooter
(8,614 posts)ileus
(15,396 posts)oneshooter
(8,614 posts)Eleanors38
(18,318 posts)SkatmanRoth
(843 posts)Notice there are no unelected bureaucrats forcing rules on your household about where and when kitty can evacuate its bowel.
SecularMotion
(7,981 posts)ileus
(15,396 posts)Before you start chucking lead at shadows in the night you need to ID your target. If 3% of the spouses were plugged every night by a gun on the nightstand there'd be 1000's of accidental shootings a night.
You need better security if someone can slip into your home at night without alarm or dogs barking. A firearm is you last line of defense...always.
I wouldn't know if one of our cats delogged in the floor, they're locked in the laundry room at night. Best thing we've ever done no pouncing, bouncing, or trouncing at night. That along with the dogs being caged at night mean a great nights sleep is assured for everyone.
Now to address why you're in your own room without a personal protection device and torch...
My DW doesn't typically remove here S&W from her purse at night but keeps her purse beside the bed. It's been a nasty habit since a drug addict neighbor opened the kitchen door and stole her purse one night back in 2000. Which just so happens to be the same day we started locking our doors and removing the car keys from our vehicles in our drive. I also invested in a gun safe that same day, and two weeks later we acquired a new barking alarm.
pscot
(21,023 posts)they could have fire fight over the cat poop. You guys are just way too pedictable. You're brains are on auto pilot.
ileus
(15,396 posts)or a firefight period?
now who is on auto pilot???
clffrdjk
(905 posts)I wouldn't be talking about brains if I were you.
Straw Man
(6,613 posts)Forget the autopilot. You need some help from autocorrect.
shadowrider
(4,941 posts)Eleanors38
(18,318 posts)discntnt_irny_srcsm
(18,470 posts)...similar to this one
As far as I know she's unarmed but we sleep better knowing she's downstairs away from the bedrooms.
Eleanors38
(18,318 posts)discntnt_irny_srcsm
(18,470 posts)I need to read more Hemingway.
gejohnston
(17,502 posts)that was part of a litter rescued from a feral litter. Because she was born with FIV, she barely survived being spayed.
discntnt_irny_srcsm
(18,470 posts)All the same, I'd her away from the guns.
Jenoch
(7,720 posts)She never misses the litter box. I've been told that a spayed cat has the fewest occurrence of missing the litter box.
ann---
(1,933 posts)people with guns kill.
gejohnston
(17,502 posts)BTW, Wyoming's night sky is much nicer than Florida's this time of year.
oneshooter
(8,614 posts)NYC_SKP
(68,644 posts)There are a whole series of other reasons than cat poop that could have you up and about and if you live in a home with a person with a gun and can't trust them not to shoot you, that's a real problem.
I hope you and he have resolved it!
ManiacJoe
(10,136 posts)Folks who ignore the Four Safety Rules should not be tolerated.
friendly_iconoclast
(15,333 posts)BuzzKillington
(9 posts)Why does it not sound like a safe household? Merely because of her baseless fears? Notice how she never mentions any prior incidents, threats, or any events whatsoever to indicate her husband would just jump out of his room shooting.
She goes on about her projections, and that's it. Nothing she stated indicated there is any threat or danger whatsoever. I have to wonder if she is so deathly afraid of the gun, and is on the internet discussing it rather than speaking with her husband, on top of the fact that they sleep in separate rooms, how well is their marriage going?
The only thing she wrote was, "My husband owns a gun. I'm afraid of it. I don't talk to him about my feelings, but I am in constant fear he is going to shoot me." And your reply is......"This does not sound like a safe household." <---- She said absolutely nothing to warrant that statement.
My biggest fear for her is that she's unable to brainstorm the thought of dropping the small cat turd into one of the toilets in her home. Why does it need to be taken outside? Animal poop flushes just like human poop (unless if we're talking about an elephant or similar). There's lots of derp in here.
Tumbulu
(6,267 posts)and how would you know such a thing?
Sorry, I would not want a gun inside my house for any reason and if she is scared to talk about it, then probably she has a reason to be scared. Sorry, anyone who feels the need to keep a gun by their bed or in their home is a nut, and any sane person would have reason to be scared of them.
I hope she gets out of that house, and the sooner the better.
CreekDog
(46,192 posts)guns being only for no other purpose than killing.
Warpy
(110,913 posts)and tell him he'd better clean up the mess before he steps in it on his way to the toilet.
You'd be doing him a favor.
Packerowner740
(676 posts)Sounds to me though that you've got bigger issues than that if your husband sleeps with a gun on his nightstand and you are worried about getting shot as an intruder.
Straw Man
(6,613 posts)... would you worry that he, if wakened suddenly, might bash you on the head with it?
If you really think your husband might fire blindly through the walls at a noise in the night, then I would strongly advise you to get out of that house and that relationship.
BuzzKillington
(9 posts)She needs to seek help.
If her husband has threatened her in the past, has displayed aggression, or has indicated in anyway that he is a threat to her, she should be separating from him and filing a restraining order. If this is the case..... Seek. Help. from police
If her husband has NEVER DONE ANY OF THE AFOREMENTIONED THINGS, and her fear is totally based on his mere ownership of a gun, then she needs to speak with a mental health professional. Because if this is the case, and she just randomly fears being harmed by her husband possessing an item that can be used as a weapon, there's a lot going on in her head that isn't healthy. From a coffee pot, to a bat, a knife, or a golf club.....he could use anything he feels is sufficient to guard his home and protect his family. If she's just constantly having irrational fears about him hurting her because these things exist, it's not healthy. If this is the case.... Seek. Help. from a psychiatrist.
The fact that she hasn't spoken with him about this and has posted similarly in the past, indicates she is in need of a marriage counselor.
Any of the above 3 professionals should be contacted by the OP. She either has legitimate fears and needs to contact the police, or she has irrational fears and is constantly worried about being killed. Regardless of the two aforementioned scenario's, her inability to communicate with her husband strongly hints at the need for a counselor.
uppityperson
(115,674 posts)CreekDog
(46,192 posts)even if he hasn't done anything.
guns should be secured.
Straw Man
(6,613 posts)even if he hasn't done anything.
guns should be secured.
What does "secured" mean to you? It is generally accepted that if a gun is in the control of its owner, that gun is "secure."
I'm lost on the relevance. Her fear is he will shoot her.
Does your idea of secure mean, "Put it in a safe, cross two pieces of rebar in an 'X' at the opening of the safe, fill the save with concrete, close the safe, lock the safe, then take the key and melt it down into a puddle of brass, allow it to cool and harden, then take the mass and throw it into the ocean"?
Because I'm seriously confused as to how "secured" means he cannot access it to follow through with her fear of him shooting her.
CreekDog
(46,192 posts)Anyway, from the OP, it appears she's concerned about an accidental shooting.
And no, I didn't suggest securing the gun so that it can never, ever be accessed.
I suggested securing the gun well enough that only the owner can access it and secure enough that it can't be used seconds after waking, but would need to be unsecured, loaded, and THEN used.
And in your post, you said you were lost. I agree.
CreekDog
(46,192 posts)i got up in the middle of the night and my grandfather had a bat and had it in his hand when he approached me in the dark.
yes, a gun or a bat near the bed is a bad idea.
Straw Man
(6,613 posts)i got up in the middle of the night and my grandfather had a bat and had it in his hand when he approached me in the dark.
Did he raise it? Did he make any movements suggesting that he was going to strike you with it?
CreekDog
(46,192 posts)over bullshit?
what's the real goal?
Straw Man
(6,613 posts)Why won't you answer it?
oneshooter
(8,614 posts)Pieces of wood scare him.
Warpy
(110,913 posts)and that would give her time to identify herself.
That's the point, really, guns kill so remotely. Hubby wouldn't have to get out of his warm bed. He'd just have to be half awakened by a noise and start blasting--which he would since he's paranoid enough to need a loaded gun at his side while he sleeps.
People might kill, but the guns make it a hell of a lot easier and the end result more devastating.
gejohnston
(17,502 posts)that has a lot of home invasions. From her earlier descriptions, he would have to be close range to hit anyone with a pistol.
Straw Man
(6,613 posts)So everyone who keeps a gun for self-defense will fire indiscriminately at the slightest disturbance? On what do you base this ludicrous assertion? What kind of cartoonish reality do you inhabit?
mwrguy
(3,245 posts)Possibly both.
linuxman
(2,337 posts)I've seen you post about your husband and firearms many times before. What steps are you taking to deal with this? I don't know your husband, and I only know you through your posts. I can't speak for his mindset, habits, safety, etc, but you certainly seem to fear for your life. Why not leave? Is there anything more important than your life? Not for me there isn't.
BuzzKillington
(9 posts)The lives of my family are much more important than my own.
linuxman
(2,337 posts)It's nice that you have a family and all, but the question was for hockeymom, who I believe lives with just her husband. If memory serves, her kids are already moved out.
BuzzKillington
(9 posts)CreekDog
(46,192 posts)this is a serious topic, not a joke thread or free for all.
when members are asking a serious question and you jump in and suggest there's something wrong with them and act basically like you're acting, it's not cool.
unless of course you don't like her or us.
if you don't, then that explains your hostility, despite seeming to be new here.
gejohnston
(17,502 posts)Has he made sound shots before?
Is he developing dementia?
Has he ever threatened you?
Spent Super Bowl Sunday building a snowman with my brother's grandkids. Yeah, it is -5 degrees out with a -23 wind chill, but I dread going back to Florida. Not that I hate it, just that perpetual summer isn't good for you. It cooks your brain.
Jenoch
(7,720 posts)you have not spoken to your husband about this topic. I sugvest you have a serious conversation with him to allay your fears.
CreekDog
(46,192 posts)that would concern me. i think guns should be kept under lock and key, certainly while sleeping and i don't think guns should be immediately accessible and usable a split second after waking.
as for what to do, i'm not sure, but if you get up, turn on every light and leave the door to your room open.
has he always kept the gun that way or is it a recent thing?
gejohnston
(17,502 posts)honest question.
Bazinga
(331 posts)otohara
(24,135 posts)He has always been a light sleeper and he'd call me at 2 or 3AM wanting to come home.
I feared for his life - walking around in the dark to call me.
I'd tell him to go back in the bedroom, wait for me then be oh so quite when I arrived.
I should have asked if there were guns in the home - it was stupid of me not to.
I would never have let him spend the night in a home with guns.
shenmue
(38,503 posts)A hug should make things better.
clffrdjk
(905 posts)It would be nice to hear back from her.
HockeyMom
(14,337 posts)My point was that I tried to do as much as possible so he would not think it was an intruder in the middle of the night. Put on all the lights. Run faucets. Make as much noise as I would in the daytime. As much as I could, even waking him up, so he would not think it was an intruder making all that noise. Yes, I really did think this when I had to get up in the middle of the night.
It makes you (me) wonder who is really more paranoid? Him with his gun in the nightstand? Or me running through all these hoops in the middle of the night?
CreekDog
(46,192 posts)that said, I can sympathize with your concern. if his gun is in his night stand, that is a concern.
Lurks Often
(5,455 posts)dumbcat
(2,120 posts)in separate rooms? I'm sorry if this seems prying, but it may be relevant to the discussion.
raj4770
(5 posts)Response to HockeyMom (Original post)
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