Welcome to DU! The truly grassroots left-of-center political community where regular people, not algorithms, drive the discussions and set the standards. Join the community: Create a free account Support DU (and get rid of ads!): Become a Star Member Latest Breaking News General Discussion The DU Lounge All Forums Issue Forums Culture Forums Alliance Forums Region Forums Support Forums Help & Search

trof

(54,256 posts)
Fri May 4, 2018, 08:07 PM May 2018

Pisses me off when I can't do what I used to could.

No, not that.
Trying to hang some blinds today and I just can't see well enough to do it.
Macular degeneration.
Hanging four blinds would have been a 30 minute job a few years ago.
Tried to talk Miz t. through it, but she just doesn't have the strength to get the screws in.
Damned frustrating.

Wish I could find a handyman who didn't charge $20 an hour.
Getting old sux.

60 replies = new reply since forum marked as read
Highlight: NoneDon't highlight anything 5 newestHighlight 5 most recent replies
Pisses me off when I can't do what I used to could. (Original Post) trof May 2018 OP
I SO agree! The hardest for me is to have to ask someone else to do little jobs like that. Frustratedlady May 2018 #1
Yep Lunabell May 2018 #2
"Getting old sux." Exactly when does that occur? elocs May 2018 #3
Nice try, but not very persuasive Boomer May 2018 #22
I hear you. This aging nonsense is not what I signed up for! nt procon May 2018 #4
I just got aged out of my apartment in Las Vegas pecosbob May 2018 #5
ouch trof May 2018 #58
Mac D very debillitating. Have Miz t set the screws and you drive them. . . . . nt Bernardo de La Paz May 2018 #6
Agreed. n/t Tarheel_Dem May 2018 #7
I know a guy, a WWII fighter pilot, Silver1 May 2018 #8
Badass roscoeroscoe May 2018 #55
Yes, badass. Silver1 May 2018 #60
You'd be very lucky to find a handyman that charged $20 an hour. Ya get what ya pay for. Augiedog May 2018 #9
Made it up the ladder okay. madamesilverspurs May 2018 #10
Yes, every day a new reminder of my diminished capabilities elfin May 2018 #11
Tried bpositive May 2018 #12
Been using threaders for years. n/t rzemanfl May 2018 #51
There's gotta be someone around. Neighbors? Church? High school helpers. I know it's hard FailureToCommunicate May 2018 #13
I saw this on TV recently and said to myself, "Oh shit, it gets worse?". BigmanPigman May 2018 #14
I agree with you, but not out loud. Growing old is not for the weak. marble falls May 2018 #15
I'm the words of the great Betty Davis: Zoonart May 2018 #28
She knew whereof she spoke. marble falls May 2018 #41
Reminds me of a line from a Leonard Cohen song: I hurt in places where I used to play Sampan May 2018 #16
I hear ya' llmart May 2018 #17
Really lillypaddle May 2018 #26
I keep several magnifying glasses stashed around the house.... Ferrets are Cool May 2018 #34
I her ya..........Everything Is so hard to open.... a kennedy May 2018 #37
Husband's grandmother used to say...Takes a steel stomach to live to be old! pioche4 May 2018 #18
Getting old sux? SCantiGOP May 2018 #19
Only up to a point Boomer May 2018 #24
I've lowered the bar lillypaddle May 2018 #31
I know the feeling Boomer May 2018 #52
Agree. Watched my 95 year old mother spend the last year of her life sinkingfeeling May 2018 #43
so much for the "golden years." demosincebirth May 2018 #20
The Golden Years Timewas May 2018 #35
Love this..... a kennedy May 2018 #38
For the record Timewas May 2018 #42
Oh my! Rebl2 May 2018 #21
Thank you for this......i try to remember. a kennedy May 2018 #39
Not shocked, just frustrated. trof May 2018 #59
Getting old is not for the faint at heart. TomSlick May 2018 #23
Yes, it's the "simple" things, isn't it? lillypaddle May 2018 #25
But we can VOTE! EOM elfin May 2018 #27
I remember when the idea Haggis for Breakfast May 2018 #29
Off topic lillypaddle May 2018 #32
Och, aye Haggis for Breakfast May 2018 #44
I hope you'll be on DU longer than a week lillypaddle May 2018 #50
I know....when in bed I feel pretty good...... a kennedy May 2018 #40
I used to get so aggravated Ohiogal May 2018 #30
The hardest thing for me is my mind thinks that I still Ferrets are Cool May 2018 #33
Heh. Try having Parkinson's. JayhawkSD May 2018 #46
Ditto Frances May 2018 #36
Omigod. I wish I could find a handyman who DID charge $20 an hour. JayhawkSD May 2018 #45
i got mini blinds eons ago. finally they stopped working, got twins & slapped them into old fittings pansypoo53219 May 2018 #47
We do have a senior citizens center here in South Grand, St. Louis MO... SWBTATTReg May 2018 #48
I'm sorry. LiberalLoner May 2018 #49
It's not the getting old that sucks, it the parts that WhiteTara May 2018 #53
I was a crabber back in the 80's SonofDonald May 2018 #54
Reminds me of the quote: Bayard May 2018 #56
My township has started a handyman program to help seniors for little money. greatauntoftriplets May 2018 #57

Frustratedlady

(16,254 posts)
1. I SO agree! The hardest for me is to have to ask someone else to do little jobs like that.
Fri May 4, 2018, 08:13 PM
May 2018

I sit and look at what has to be done, run the process through my mind and then try to do it myself and give up. My kids have ordered me to stay off ladders, but I cheat with step ladders that have support handles. When we've been so independent all our lives, it is hard to admit you aren't 100%, but just don't push us into the rocking chair. I'll do what I can and delegate the rest as long as I can.

We may be old, but we're still proud.

Lunabell

(6,046 posts)
2. Yep
Fri May 4, 2018, 08:18 PM
May 2018

My wife is only 62 and can't walk anymore due to her myriad of illnesses. At least I still am relatively active.

elocs

(22,541 posts)
3. "Getting old sux." Exactly when does that occur?
Fri May 4, 2018, 08:24 PM
May 2018

I'm 65 and I can remember when my mother was this age she would tell me that getting old was hell, but I haven't found that to be true for me.
I think of two Satchel Paige quotes: "How old would you be if you didn't know how old you are?" and "Age is a question of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter."

It doesn't matter to me.

Boomer

(4,167 posts)
22. Nice try, but not very persuasive
Fri May 4, 2018, 10:24 PM
May 2018

Age itself doesn't bother me, but the deteriorating body that comes with age is indeed hellish. My mind can't fix what's the matter with me.

My wife and I are in our 60s and we just can't keep up basic house maintenance any more. She's got Parkinson's and knee damage, so climbing ladders to clean out gutters or hammer a nail on the roof are either excruciatingly painful or simply not possible. I've been through open heart surgery and I run out of energy before finishing a fraction of all the chores that are piled up waiting for me.

I DO mind that, but I don't dwell on it. Age matters, but there are other compensations and I try to focus on the good, more than the bad. But it's catching up with us a lot faster than we expected and nothing rubs that in more than hearing someone dismiss that reality, as if it's just a "bad attitude". I'm glad that you've been blessed with older age that isn't hellish, but you are luckier than you realize.

pecosbob

(7,533 posts)
5. I just got aged out of my apartment in Las Vegas
Fri May 4, 2018, 08:31 PM
May 2018

Lived here twelve years and it was just bought and is being converted to student housing. Good for the students, not so good for me. Asked them if I could get a new lease if I enrolled as a student. No one over thirty they told me.

Silver1

(721 posts)
8. I know a guy, a WWII fighter pilot,
Fri May 4, 2018, 08:38 PM
May 2018

you know ... a little wild and fast. He said the only thing golden about the golden years is your piss.

Bill Donovan was his name. My FIL's best friend. And my FIL was a WWII fighter pilot too. We just got his medals passed down to us, of which there are many. Need to frame them.

roscoeroscoe

(1,369 posts)
55. Badass
Sat May 5, 2018, 09:20 AM
May 2018

My wife's dad served in WWII and was a big golfer, very athletic and graceful. Breaks her heart to see how he's doing.

Silver1

(721 posts)
60. Yes, badass.
Sun May 6, 2018, 11:23 PM
May 2018

That's them. The WWII fighter pilots, BADASS. In the best way. After what they survived, they learned a lot of wisdom.

madamesilverspurs

(15,798 posts)
10. Made it up the ladder okay.
Fri May 4, 2018, 08:50 PM
May 2018

Didn't matter. I still had to ask someone to set the plant hooks in the ceiling. Danged trifocals!


.

elfin

(6,262 posts)
11. Yes, every day a new reminder of my diminished capabilities
Fri May 4, 2018, 08:56 PM
May 2018

So far physical and not mental.... so far.

More $ spent on household and yard help. Yet still cheap compared with entrance fees to senior housing that "graduates" to more serious levels.

Keeping a support system is mandatory. Being willing to pay for it is also a reality.

Constant adjustments. But we forget we did that while younger - finding someone to renovate, babysit etc. Yet making those adjustments seemed so easy in comparison to today.

Nevertheless, we persist. Nevertheless, we adapt. Nevertheless, we still find joy. Nevertheless, we prepare.

I thought getting old would take longer. But I cherish being in a helpful neighborhood with kids and the sounds of their cheerful play and people of all ages walking lovable dogs. So here I persist.

FailureToCommunicate

(14,007 posts)
13. There's gotta be someone around. Neighbors? Church? High school helpers. I know it's hard
Fri May 4, 2018, 08:58 PM
May 2018

to ask, but worth a try. And try to be easy on yourself. Yes, it sux, but maybe it'd help a bit to remember there are those who have had to deal with problems like this their whole lives because of being viusally impaired, or missing arms, legs, steady hands, et cetera. Disability sucks, but there can be ways to make it suck less.

As far as the Macular degeneration, do check out DVS services for media. Descriptive Video for visually impaired, usually available on the "SAP" channel button "separate audio program" on your TV. It's great.

Zoonart

(11,832 posts)
28. I'm the words of the great Betty Davis:
Fri May 4, 2018, 10:42 PM
May 2018

"Getting old is not for sissies. "
I believe that she embroidered it on a pillow.

llmart

(15,532 posts)
17. I hear ya'
Fri May 4, 2018, 09:42 PM
May 2018

For the life of me I can't seem to open jars any more. Couldn't open a bottle of apple juice yesterday. Just when the population is aging manufacturers decide everything has to be packaged three ways to Sunday!

I was watching something on TV a few weeks ago - an interview with a few women in their 80's and the interviewer asked them independently of one another, "Looking back, when would you say things started to fail you on your body?" Three of them said 70. Up until this year I was still pretty healthy and active and I still am for the most part, but have slowed down considerably, need about 15 minutes each morning to get all the creaks out of my back and knees. I'm 69. None of the platitudes that people usually say make me feel any better about any of it - you know the ones "At least we're still here" "There are those worse off than us." Blah, blah. Don't wanna hear it.

lillypaddle

(9,580 posts)
26. Really
Fri May 4, 2018, 10:41 PM
May 2018

and the instructions printed on jars, meds, EVERYTHING - my god, can anyone read that small print? WTF? Was it always that small?

Ferrets are Cool

(21,102 posts)
34. I keep several magnifying glasses stashed around the house....
Fri May 4, 2018, 10:56 PM
May 2018

just so I can read the small print on things.

a kennedy

(29,615 posts)
37. I her ya..........Everything Is so hard to open....
Fri May 4, 2018, 11:08 PM
May 2018

I HATE GETTING OLDER. Ya wake up, and what doesn’t hurt. IT ALL HURTS.

Boomer

(4,167 posts)
24. Only up to a point
Fri May 4, 2018, 10:31 PM
May 2018

There are indeed worse fates than dying. Living with unrelenting pain, withering away, watching the circle of your social life contract as family and friends die. The last year of my father-in-law's life was worse than "the alternative."

I don't particularly want to drop dead of a heart-attach any time soon, but I can think of far worse fates.

lillypaddle

(9,580 posts)
31. I've lowered the bar
Fri May 4, 2018, 10:44 PM
May 2018

my goal is to live long enough that my 6 year old granddaughter will remember me. Oh, and to not die before my 12 year old dog does.

Boomer

(4,167 posts)
52. I know the feeling
Sat May 5, 2018, 08:22 AM
May 2018

I have four pets and we worry what would happen to them, emotionally as well as physically, if they were orphaned. We can most likely outlive the dogs, who are about 7 years old, but the cats....

We had made a firm vow not to adopt any young animals, especially young cats, since they can live so long, but there are ferals all over our neighborhood and we ended up rescuing two feral kittens who were just young enough to make the transition (barely) to house cats. They're only two years old, and could easily live another 12-15 years. I'm trying to envision living in this house when I'm 78 years old. We can barely keep up with the maintenance now.

sinkingfeeling

(51,438 posts)
43. Agree. Watched my 95 year old mother spend the last year of her life
Sat May 5, 2018, 12:32 AM
May 2018

unable to leave a bed or recognize anybody. I'd rather die then go through what she did. I was just diagnosed with spinal stenosis, the same thing she had. I'm 70 and on this trip to Ukraine and Jordan, I'm using a cane.

Timewas

(2,190 posts)
35. The Golden Years
Fri May 4, 2018, 10:57 PM
May 2018

Golden years

I can't pee
I can't see
I can't chew
I can't screw
The golden years have come to pass
The golden years can kiss my ass

Timewas

(2,190 posts)
42. For the record
Fri May 4, 2018, 11:38 PM
May 2018

I am 76 and am feeling some of the effects of age, but everyone needs to understand that it is different for everyone I worked hard all of my life and have attempted to continue to work hard on our ranch, one rule that I have adhered to as much as possible is

"If you want to keep on doing it you have to keep on doing it"

I realize that health problems(and I do have some)can have a serious effect on whether you can in fact follow that rule but you have to do as best you can...

Rebl2

(13,462 posts)
21. Oh my!
Fri May 4, 2018, 10:00 PM
May 2018

You didn’t see this coming as you got older? I’m always surprised how as people get older and can’t quite do what they used to do, they are shocked that it is happening to them. I’ve had rheumatoid arthritis since I was ten and am in my 60’s now. Guess I’ve been old all my life when it comes to pain and not being able to do many things for my self at times. You just learn what you can do and also learn to ask for help for what you can’t do any longer. You have to try and keep a positive attitude (which is really hard at times) and it makes for a happier life for yourself and those around you.

TomSlick

(11,088 posts)
23. Getting old is not for the faint at heart.
Fri May 4, 2018, 10:29 PM
May 2018

However, being vertical and spontaneously ventilating beats the alternative.

Haggis for Breakfast

(6,831 posts)
29. I remember when the idea
Fri May 4, 2018, 10:43 PM
May 2018

of getting old was just a pain in the ass. Now it's a pain in my hips, my back, my knees, my joints, my muscles . . . . .

Haggis for Breakfast

(6,831 posts)
44. Och, aye
Sat May 5, 2018, 01:13 AM
May 2018

Haggis in the morning will put hair on your chest for the day. Even on the women !

Scotland - where the men are manly and the sheep are terrified !!

Thank you. I'll be here all week.

a kennedy

(29,615 posts)
40. I know....when in bed I feel pretty good......
Fri May 4, 2018, 11:14 PM
May 2018

the minute I put both feet on the floor.....it’s OH MY GAWD, MY BACK, MY KNEES, MY SHOULDER........ my whole body hurts.

Ohiogal

(31,909 posts)
30. I used to get so aggravated
Fri May 4, 2018, 10:43 PM
May 2018

with my mom who couldn't hear ... now it's happening to me. Terrible tinnitus. I hate like hell to ask people to repeat themselves.

Ferrets are Cool

(21,102 posts)
33. The hardest thing for me is my mind thinks that I still
Fri May 4, 2018, 10:54 PM
May 2018

have the reflexes of a 20 year old, but my body reminds me that I don't.
When I used to stumble, I could catch myself from falling without a second thought, now not so much. Yes, getting older sux.

 

JayhawkSD

(3,163 posts)
46. Heh. Try having Parkinson's.
Sat May 5, 2018, 01:19 AM
May 2018

There are worse things to have, and mine is well under control. But it freaked my wife out when I went down while I was right beside her. I'm 6'4" and she's 5' 1". She said it was a bit unreal; sort of like watching a tree fall.

 

JayhawkSD

(3,163 posts)
45. Omigod. I wish I could find a handyman who DID charge $20 an hour.
Sat May 5, 2018, 01:16 AM
May 2018

Most are in the $60 to $80 per hour range.

SWBTATTReg

(22,065 posts)
48. We do have a senior citizens center here in South Grand, St. Louis MO...
Sat May 5, 2018, 05:52 AM
May 2018

they let folks use tools for free plus other services too. I wonder if there are senior citizens centers around you? They might be a good resource to use if one if looking for labor or help.

LiberalLoner

(9,761 posts)
49. I'm sorry.
Sat May 5, 2018, 07:43 AM
May 2018

I’m not all that old at 56 but I have had MS for a few decades now and it’s taken a big bite out of me with lots of spinal cord damage so I’m fairly disabled at this point. Can’t hardly do anything before I have to lie down again due to feeling sick. Can’t enjoy going on trips, barely keep up with the housework, etc.

So I can empathize. It’s not much fun living in a body that prevents you from doing what you would like to do,

WhiteTara

(29,692 posts)
53. It's not the getting old that sucks, it the parts that
Sat May 5, 2018, 08:27 AM
May 2018

quit working. Eyes, ears, muscles -- the whole body just sort of betrays us and then in the end, it just quits and we have to get a new one.

Bayard

(22,005 posts)
56. Reminds me of the quote:
Sat May 5, 2018, 10:44 AM
May 2018

"I'm at an age where I expect body parts to just start falling off."

Don't know how I got there. I was always the skinny athletic type. Now I'm overweight, arthritic from various misadventures over the years, and have asthma. Huffing and puffing up a hill in the woods yesterday to cut cedar poles for building my garden fence. Not so long ago, that would have been a cakewalk.

I still take exception to the statement--you just can't do as much anymore. I can do it, I just do it much slower.

greatauntoftriplets

(175,729 posts)
57. My township has started a handyman program to help seniors for little money.
Sat May 5, 2018, 12:02 PM
May 2018

If you're over 60 or handicapped, the township will send you a fully vetted handyman to do things for just $5. I haven't used the service yet, but I plan to do so soon to get some towel bars installed in one of my bathrooms.

This service is a real help to someone who just can't do them and never could because I'm a klutz.

Latest Discussions»Support Forums»Seniors»Pisses me off when I can'...