Silent suicide: The fatal combination of old age, loneliness and loss

[Sherman A1]

Tom Rote, 70, lives alone on his property in Harrisburg. Many of his friends and family members have died in recent years, and he can no longer do some of the activities he used to enjoy, like flying in hot air balloons, now that he’s older.

Rote’s circumstances check every box when it comes to risk factors for depression.

He’s a white male, over the age of 65, living alone in a life full of loss. While these factors can increase the risk for depression in all people, for older adults they pose a bigger threat — silent suicide.

Among older adults, suicide prevalence is already high — and drastically underreported

https://www.columbiamissourian.com/news/local/silent-suicide-the-fatal-combination-of-old-age-loneliness-and/article_7c0571d4-984b-11e9-95e6-4f258b3ba807.html

[KT2000]

1. Alienation

is a big factor in our society for all age groups. "A community coming together" is something that makes the news. Families are spread all over the country. Angry, rude, and crude discourse have thrown up barriers between strangers in a society that breathes competition.
The US is living a non-life sustaining lifestyle. It is not up to doctors to be on the lookout for the casualties but all of us to fashion a society that is life giving.

[at140]

2. I am a decade older than Tom and

I can still do every chore and sport I did during my 50's. There is only one reason for that..
Treadmill every other day for 30 minutes at 3 deg up-slope followed by some light weight lifts.
I rarely see seniors in the GYM! Why is that? Seniors have loads of time on their hands.
It is only young people in great shape and body builders. While who needs exercise the most?
That is right...all of those older than age 60. Of course when I worked full time, I had no time
or energy to go spend an hour in Gym 4-5 times a week. In fact I retired before eligible for
social security/medicare because of being out of shape and in not good health. It was a choice
between getting heart attacks or giving up a paycheck. I chose to make serious changes. Regular
exercise has turned my life around. I can't stress importance of exercise enough for old people.

[Ohiogal]

5. The community pool where I swim

Is chock full of seniors — arthritis class, water aerobics, and lap swimming.

Exact same thing at the community center where my husband swims. They all have Silver Sneakers.

At the indoor mall where I walk, there’s a health center that’s always full of seniors on the treadmills and bikes. They offer services such as blood pressure screenings, classes on “how to fall,” etc.

Medicare plans that offer Silver Sneakers are a big help. Private gyms and pools can be unaffordable for an older person on a fixed income. Many older folks feel unsafe or vulnerable going for a walk in a park or on a street.

[at140]

6. I bet all those who show up at SS

are healthier than average. If you visit any hospital in US, they are chock full of people out of shape.
No wonder our healthcare costs are the highest in the world.

[at140]

7. As for cost of Gym,

the condo I live in has a nice Gym & pool included in HOA fee.
You can buy a condo here for $110k with 2 BR & 2 baths.
HOA is less than $200/mo. And Florida beaches are minutes away.

[RestoreAmerica2020]

10. Thanks. I'll take a look at Silver Seakers in my area. Sounds like something that will enhance my li

...when I was younger, I enjoyed membership at fitness clubs, waa a way to socialize other than work; yet too expensive, to far to drive.

[marybourg]

3. That's one of the reasons

why living in an active senior community is a big plus. I'm older than him and a recent widow, with some health issues that prevent me from participating in many things, but that still leaves so many fun activities that my calendar is rapidly becoming full!

[emmaverybo]

4. Important post. I have lost two friends, older men, to suicide. Senior males living alone are

in an at-risk suicide group. The may have health and economic issues, a double whammy, while
their network of support has dwindled. Sometimes the tipping point is just one thing—loss of job,
eviction, bad health news.

I applaud you seniors who have worked hard on your emotional and physical resilience, but you may not realize this demographic is at more risk by some accounts than any other.

[no_hypocrisy]

8. I belong to the Ethical Culture Society. A great many members are over 70.

Some are married; some are widowed. Belonging to our community gives them options regarding socialization. For one thing, we have dinners maybe once a month. (We're all foodies.) When someone loses a spouse, we come together to support the surviving member. The survivor rarely drops out and rejoins and remains active.

Here's a prime example of how we continue to support our older members: A woman in her late 80s had to move out of her house and into an adult community about 45 minutes away. She liked her new home but missed Ethical. I have volunteered to drive out to her in order to allow her to attend a platform once a month. And same thing for festivities, parties, community dinners. She became more verbal and looked forward to these activities. Right now, unfortunately she is dying. Other members and I have regularly visited her and support her daughter who is taking care of her.

Trust me, she is not alone.

[GeoWilliam750]

9. Good on you

[RestoreAmerica2020]

11. Thanks. Sounds like a supportive group. I've considered some suppot groups, maybe take another look.

Last edited Tue Jul 16, 2019, 07:42 PM - Edit history (1)

[no_hypocrisy]

12. Listen, I'm not a "joiner" and I wanted to be a member after my first encounter with the group.

10+ years later, I'm the Ass't Director of Education and the Board Secretary. And you can find me in the kitchen, washing dishes after the dinners and festivities.

I love listening to the stories of our older members who started our Society in 1952 during the McCarthy Era.

[area51]

13. Here's a link

with the toll-free # of a senior friendship line.

"Institute on Aging’s 24-hour toll-free Friendship Line is the only accredited crisis line in the country for people aged 60 years and older, and adults living with disabilities. We also make on-going outreach calls to lonely older adults. While there are other organizations that respond to the needs of people who may be contemplating suicide, none provides the type of services that IOA’s Friendship Line offers to respond to the public health problem of suicide among the elderly."

[PoindexterOglethorpe]

14. 70 isn't that old.

I'm 70. It's not old.

Tom Rote needs to make new, younger friends. Find a hobby to replace flying hot air balloons. Maybe do a bit of volunteer work of some kind.