Jesus Leaves Broncos, Signs With Patriots
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BOSTON (SatireWire.com) – Tired of living in quarterback Tim Tebow’s shadow, Jesus Christ left the Denver Broncos today and signed as a free agent with the New England Patriots, who will face Denver in an intriguing AFC playoff game on Saturday.
New England denied they signed Jesus specifically to counter Tebow, insisting their starting free safety, Patrick Chung, was inexplicably raptured late Sunday. Moments later, Christ appeared with His agent at the Patriots’ training facility and offered to fill the defensive role. Previously, Jesus had backed Tebow during the Broncos’ miraculous run to the playoffs, including an overtime victory Sunday against the Pittsburgh Steelers.
Christ Himself said he enjoyed his time with Denver, but felt He needed to make a move.
“I’m getting on, and at this stage of my career I couldn’t pass up the opportunity to start with a title contender,” said Jesus, who will wear the number 1 jersey. “I may be the King of Kings, but I need the ring of rings, baby. Jesus needs a Super Bowl ring.”
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http://www.satirewire.com/content1/?p=3565
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