Should an atheist say grace?

[rug]

David Tang, entrepreneur and founder of ICorrect, offers advice on questions about property, interiors – and modern manners for globetrotters

November 29, 2013 6:51 pm
By David Tang

As an atheist I’d be interested in your views on saying grace. On one hand, I’ve always considered letting a meal go cold to be the greatest disservice one can pay to the animal that died to make it and to the cook. On the other, I see there is value in reminding myself that I am lucky to have food and good friends to eat it with. Also, when my wife invites over friends from church should I adopt their gracing ways or they mine?

So let me get this right: you don’t believe in God, but you believe in being considerate to a dead animal and a cook? I must confess I find this slightly bizarre. In any event, any cooks worth their salt should be able to time their cooking to arrive after grace is said. But of course if you were to have plated food already on the table before you sit down, then you are beyond social redemption.

On the point of others wishing to exercise their convictions, you would do well to respect them in an open and tolerant society. After all, you would not mind taking your shoes off when visiting a mosque, or doing a hongi to a Maori? So why irk over a few seconds in which others might like to say grace? If friends of your wife were involved, all the more reason to be accommodating and score a few brownie points with her.

http://www.ft.com/cms/s/2/8ba957f2-dce7-11e2-b52b-00144feab7de.html#axzz2m8kAAfSq

Who knew the Financial Times had a Dear Abby for international financiers?

[yeoman6987]

1. Why not have two blessings?

One on which the family friends say a quick blessing and then the husband says a few words. I doubt the food will go cold in two minutes. You just have to make sure the religious couple shuts it after a short prayer. lol.

[CrispyQ]

2. A better question would be,

as an atheist, what do you say if you are invited to say grace? Is there a secular grace? If you didn't mention God or say "Amen" at the end, would the religious be offended?

[niyad]

3. perhaps something along the lines of "we give thanks to all those involved in making this meal

possible--the people who raised the food, the people who transported the food, the people who sold the food, and the people who prepared the food"

[Warren Stupidity]

7. Rubadubdub, thanks for the grub.

By the time they figure out there is no fruity deity in there, the meal is already on.

But seriously, my house, my rules, no grace. Your house your rules.

[LostOne4Ever]

10. Good Gravy

Good meat, good gosh lets eat.

[cbayer]

11. I've been in lots of situations with a secular "grace".

Basically the persona just says how grateful or thankful they are to have a wonderful meal to eat and wonderful people to share it with. Maybe add in a thought for someone you know who is suffering or can't be there, and the deed is done.

While many include a thanks to their god, it's perfectly good to omit that part, imo.

[Rob H.]

13. Over the teeth and through the gums, watch out, stomach, here it comes!

All kidding aside, though, I would probably politely decline or say what others have suggested and thank the people who grew, transported, and prepared the food, and express gratitude for everyone who came to share the meal.

[GladRagDahl]

4. Respect is all that is necessary

Nobody expects an atheist to say "grace" BUT anybody is expected to be respectful of the beliefs of others. Silence during the grace is acceptably respectful.

[longship]

5. I've been asked if I would like to say grace.

I was invited to lunch at a neighbor's house. One woman there is a real evangelical Protestant, who when I had my telescopes out and was showing people in the area the splendors of the so-called heavens made a strange comment.

I had my four inch refractor pointing at M13, the Hercules globular cluster, which is stunningly beautiful, a million stars in the eyepiece. I said, "These stars are some 25,000 light years away." The woman responded immediately, "Do you believe in evolution?" My response to that was to explain what a light year is, ignoring the jab at evolution.

As we sat down to lunch the next day, the same woman asked me to say grace. I basically said, "As an invited guest here I would find it presumptuous to do so." I certainly wasn't going to give her satisfaction by saying that I am an atheist. But I also did not wish to criticize her.

In general, the concept of saying grace is anathema to atheism as far as I am concerned. If somebody wants to say grace before meals that's their business. I remain silent and neither join in, nor impede.

[muriel_volestrangler]

6. What a bizarre reply from Tang

you don’t believe in God, but you believe in being considerate to a dead animal and a cook? I must confess I find this slightly bizarre.

No, that's not 'bizarre' - the cook exists, and is there, while the animal obviously did exist - the meat is there. Not believing in a non-physical supernatural being is only 'bizarre' to a blinkered theist.

In any event, any cooks worth their salt should be able to time their cooking to arrive after grace is said.

I have never been to any house where grace is said before the food arrives. What would you say - "thank you for this food which we expect to turn up soon, which we're sure will look good, and we'll just send the cook back to the work we interrupted for this prayer?" Or do you exclude the cook from the prayer?

But of course if you were to have plated food already on the table before you sit down, then you are beyond social redemption.

Not sure what he's talking about here. He's from Hong Kong - is this about what you do in restaurants, since that's more common there than entertaining in your own home? This is about 'inviting friends over', anyway - ie to the home, not a restaurant.

On the point of others wishing to exercise their convictions, you would do well to respect them in an open and tolerant society. After all, you would not mind taking your shoes off when visiting a mosque, or doing a hongi to a Maori? So why irk over a few seconds in which others might like to say grace? If friends of your wife were involved, all the more reason to be accommodating and score a few brownie points with her.

And when they are visiting you, then it's up to you or your wife, not them. I think the FT ought to point out that Tang may not understand the conventions of people outside Hong Kong.

[AtheistCrusader]

8. Nothing to say thanks 'to'.

Might as well divide by zero, so I would decline to attempt it. Let someone to whom it is meaningful participate in this ritual.

[fishwax]

9. It's hard to give him much creedence after the first sentence of his reply

"So let me get this right: you don’t believe in God, but you believe in being considerate to a dead animal and a cook? I must confess I find this slightly bizarre."

Why is that bizarre?

[lachrymosa]

12. No.

He should be true to his beliefs. And nobody should put him on the spot. But he should be respectful of his hosts, so he should at least sit quietly and respectfully during grace, but shouldn't have to pretend that he is saying it too.

As a believer, if I were hosting an atheist, I wouldn't put him or me through that awkwardness and would give my thanks privately.