How Christian Purity Culture Enabled My Step Dad to Sexually Abuse Me

[cleanhippie]

My step-father began having problems getting erections when I was a senior in high school. How did I find out about this? He told me that he was using me to get an erection so that he could have sex with my mother. We were very religious people. We attended a Fundamentalist Baptist Church so sexually conservative I was not even allowed to wear jeans. But still, he would sit me down and discuss what he had been thinking on those nights when he pressed my body against his and stroked my hair, the curve of my hip and the area between my collar bone and breasts until his penis was hard against my thigh.

In those incredibly awkward and galling conversations he reassured me repeatedly that he would never do anything to compromise my virginity. Using the tone of a person explaining something perfectly logical that should be obvious to anyone with the IQ of a mollusk, he explained that my mother had gained weight and it was killing his boners. I was young, slender and attractive and he saw nothing terribly wrong with using my body to kick-start the old engine and thoughts of me to keep it humming along.

What baffled me then but makes perfect sense to me now is why he thought that I would be reassured by his repeated promises that he would not cross the arbitrary line of virginity. He had no real plans to stop using me as his fluffer. But my virginity, which he had pledged to protect and to keep safe for my future husband, was off-limits. As time went by and his fluff-sessions became more lurid, I feared the line of technical virginity would be like the Maginot Line, more an illusion of safety than an actual defense.

But he kept his promise. And now I understand why. The emphasis placed on virginity by the Purity Culture allowed my step-father to minimize his non-vaginal sexual abuse of my body.

http://www.alternet.org/how-christian-purity-culture-enabled-my-step-dad-sexually-abuse-me

Read the entire article to see just how deep this depravity goes. And deeply held religious beliefs are used to justify it. To tolerate it.

Religion being used to enable pedophilia is not new, but only because these are religious beliefs do we stand idly by and do nothing to stop it. Gotta respect those deeply held beliefs, right?

[rug]

1. "because these are religious beliefs do we stand idly by and do nothing to stop it."

Gee, I dunno.

That question lacks in rhetoric as much as it lacks in understanding of the issue,

[Warpy]

2. Ah, tradition!

Using your daughter as a fluffer probably works better than Viagra and since all that would rid you of a daughter was selling her hymen to the highest bidder, "lying with his daughters" in the bible probably meant just that.

[Warren Stupidity]

3. The vast majority of religions do not obsess over women's sexuality, so this is clearly outside the

normal for religious behavior.

Or some other bullshit.

[Ron Obvious]

4. "The vast majority of religions do not obsess over women's sexuality"

Is that really true? There seems to be an inordinate amount of fascination with it as far as I can tell. At least among the Abrahamic religions.

[okasha]

6. I don't think that 3

religions constitute a "vast majority."

[Warren Stupidity]

10. Christianity + Islam are in fact "a vast majority".

I suppose we could quibble about 'vast'. 55% of the world's population, and the abrahamic religions as a are much bigger than any other religion. But throw Hinduism in too, if you like, they also are obsessed with women's sexuality.

[okasha]

11. You're counting believers,

not religions. Different things.

Nor is everyone who is a Christian or a Muslim obsessed with women's sexuality. Claiming otherwise would be like saying that the vast majority of atheists are obsessed with other people's religious beliefs. I don't think they are, though if.one sampled only this online group, one could come to a very different conclusion.

[Warren Stupidity]

15. whatever.

Yes the Abrahamic religions only count as three of hundreds, and obviously the poster we are arguing over meant vast majority of the total number of religions not the adherents, obviously. Your argument is dishonest quibbling. Religions, almost unanimously, are obsessed with women's sexuality and with sexuality in general. Arguing against that is ridiculous.

though if.one sampled only this online group, one could come to a very different conclusion

From a daily sample: Dishonesty or thoughtlessness. On display in the religion forum on a daily basis.

[okasha]

18. "Almost. unanimously? "

All that staetment shows is how unfamiliar you are with snything outside your own culture.

But keep at it.

[Warren Stupidity]

7. "or some other bullshit" should have been a clue.

[Ron Obvious]

8. Yes it was.

My sarcasm detector was off. Sorry.

[el_bryanto]

5. How dare you condemn these deeply held beliefs

What this Godly father did with her daughter is none of your business; and if you truly respected religious diversity you'd leave him alone!

There does that make you feel better?

Bryant

[trotsky]

9. Well?

Is this fascination with sexual "purity" harmful? Should it be countered?

[el_bryanto]

12. Of course - and the best way to counter it is to tear down all religion. nt.

[trotsky]

13. Interesting. I don't think I've heard anyone say that.

You are the first.

[skepticscott]

14. Seems that feigned sarcasm and attacking straw men

is just a backhanded way to avoid actually criticizing something openly. Wouldn't want to ever acknowledge that religion can be the cause of anything evil. Not part of the religionista creed.

[Warren Stupidity]

16. I'm on the record saying that we should tickle the god out of all of 'em.

[trotsky]

17. Great idea!

Who could possibly object to that?

[cleanhippie]

19. You bring nothing of substance to this conversation.

Why do you even bother commenting?

[rug]

20. And he didn't even post a smiley!