what would you do if you were the devil?

[Lordquinton]

It seems that god is powerless to do much of anything, but the devil is still around and kicking, with all the divine power we don't see from god anymore.

I'd give the opressed the power and means to fight their oppressors.... Wait they say the devil is doing that already, god dammit!

[gcomeau]

1. Hire better PR people... -eom

[truebrit71]

2. Schedule a vacation, because apparently he's really, really, REALLY busy...

..unlike that god bloke who can't even be bothered to show up...well...not counting on toast of course...

[trotsky]

3. Keep doing what pisses god off.

Which, according to the bible, is encouraging people to develop their own reason and agency.

[MissDeeds]

4. Learn Dick Cheney's whereabouts

and then pay him a visit.

[TheCowsCameHome]

5. Change my name to Dick Cheney

and become real evil.

[Act_of_Reparation]

6. Write better music.

What passes for devil music these days is but a weak facsimile of that which came before it.

[LostOne4Ever]

7. If I was an evil devil I would...

[font style="font-family:'Georgia','Baskerville Old Face','Helvetica',fantasy;" size=4 color=teal]create several organized religions and launch the most elaborate false flag operation the world has ever seen.

I would create some scapegoat for all the atrocities I commit and get the entire world to blame him rather than me. He would hurt no one, accept everyone, and try to help people selflessly and yet still get all the blame for EVERYTHING that goes wrong.

I would get said scapegoat blamed for causing death and suffering of all mankind when all he actually did was give them the gift of knowledge and morality. I would flood the world, kill first born, turn people to salt, smite people for idiotic reasons and breed prejudice and hate amoungst the people, but HE would be the one they hate.

The entire time I am doing this I would be tricking the people into blaming my scapegoat for all the ills in the world while giving me nothing but praise. I would do this by convincing people that they are all wicked and evil from (get this) the moment they are born, and deserve nothing more than to burn in the hell I am going to punish them with for all eternity.

Then I would say, if you believe in me and worship me like mindless slaves I will deliver you from this torture. I would call this "salvation by faith" and it would be the most incredible mental torture device ever invented. It would convince people to mindlessly follow the rules in some bronze age book I wrote while ignoring their own morality. It would also scare anyone from ever questioning my motives.

And whenever something really good happens, like gay marriage being legalized by popular vote in Ireland, I would have the religions I create come out and declare it a "defeat for humanity."
____________________________________________________________________



Of course, that is what I would do if I were an evil devil. If I were good, I would get off my butt and try to put an end to all the pain and suffering in the world.[/font]

[Fumesucker]

13. If you can't say something good about someone

Come over here and sit by me... -Alice Roosevelt Longworth

[Lordquinton]

17. well played

Gotta rewatch The Prophecy.

[Warren Stupidity]

8. 1. kill god.

2. abolish death.
3. get rid of ticks.
4. make female mosquitoes eat fruit instead of blood.

[AtheistCrusader]

9. If I were the devil, I wouldn't exist.

[hrmjustin]

10. Make the mets opponents lose their games.

[xfundy]

11. Vote Republican.

[Curmudgeoness]

12. I would go up against ISIS.

I would gather all the believers in God together and start a Holy War against the fundie Muslims. I would accomplish this with fear of Muslims and get the Christians all worried about being taken over and forced to submit to Islam.

Oh wait. That is already being done...by the devil's arch enemy, evangelical Christians.

[DavidDvorkin]

14. Encourage religiosity

Because it causes so much evil behavior.

[Iggo]

15. Share all the knowledge.

Just like the fictional one.

[Lordquinton]

16. all of it

ALL THE KNOWLEDGE

[beam me up scottie]

18. Yes.

This.