How to always be undeniably right about religion

[Silent3]

Last edited Sun Apr 15, 2012, 12:26 AM - Edit history (2)

These handy rules also work well for "spirituality", homeopathy, Bigfoot... almost anything you might need.

• First and foremost, just know you're right. What more do you really need?
  
• The very fact that anyone might want to argue that you're wrong is suspicious in and of itself. Such disagreeable people must be insecure, attempting to dominate you, or both. Which means they're wrong and you're right.
  
• Words mean whatever you need or want them to mean. Anyone who tries to win an argument by trying to assert clear definitions of words, or by asking you to provide clear definitions, is playing a "power game", attempting to impose meanings on you. Resist this intolerable umbrella! Be free, be right, be adiabatic!
  
• Make no distinction between experience and interpretation of experience. You've experienced what you've experienced, it means what you say it means, and anyone disagreeing with that is denying you your experience. These power games are everywhere.
  
• Be deliberately obtuse and frustrating. When someone actually becomes frustrated, that proves they're wrong and you're right.
  
• Science, like any other word, means what you need it to mean. If you need it to be an unbounded playground of bright shiny ideas that appeal to you, then it's an unbounded playground of bright shiny ideas that appeal to you. Anyone who says otherwise has no right to speak for science, is in fact a scientismismist, is a power monger trying to turn your playground into an imperialistic prison camp. You're too open-minded and wise and free to fall for that.
  
• Accuse people of "projection". Don't worry how well the actual meaning of "projection" fits, since there are no actual meanings to any words, that word included.
  
• Obsequiously polite and careful requests for evidence might merely mean someone doesn't understand your brilliance. Demands or expectations of evidence are power games, attempts to impose paradigms. Assert your independence.
  
• Quantum. Somehow, someway... quantum. Superimposition and decoherence for bonus points.
  
• Despite the fact that Einstein actually did the hard work of calculation and research and spectacularly meeting the requirements of evidence that mean old scientismismists so cruelly demand, a few Einstein quotes about imagination and religion prove he'd be right there by your side, as aware of your brilliance as you are.
  
• Expecto patronum!

The insular bubble protecting your private little world from assault is now complete. If people can't see how right you are, now you know it's all their fault.

[cleanhippie]

1. Someone has been taking notes!

Bravo! For most, I think we could simply cut-and-paste the applicable bullet point as a response to most of our believer and pseudo-philosophical friends here.

But I really doubt that they see this reality at all.

[edhopper]

2. Good post

[skepticscott]

3. Fine job...but I would add

-Avoid answering as many direct questions as possible. Questions are a burden to others. Answers are a prison for oneself.

[Silent3]

4. Bonus corollary...

Play the part of the Enlightened One who must not answer a particular question because the questioner must discover the answer him/herself.

[skepticscott]

5. Double bonus corollary

Lie and pretend that the answer to an awkward question has already been provided in the misty past, and that providing it again or pointing to where you provided it before is beneath you.

Triple bonus corollary: When all else fails, attempt to dismiss awkward questions as "gotcha" questions (but never explain what that means or why such a question is not legitimate).

[longship]

7. Quadruple bonus, the ultimate trump card!

Faith!

It is supposedly the trump card that beats all the cards in the deck.

Why don't they know that it's merely the joker?

[mr blur]

8. Nice quote from The Prisoner there! nt

[SamG]

6. Seems like a lot of rules to follow, and very limiting.

Were one an atheist, the only rule to follow would be to keep an open mind and keep asking questions.

[Jester Messiah]

9. And always remember, if you're out of ammo...

"I'll pray for you."

[SamG]

10. Is there a school or college one needs to go to to..

learn these rules, or is there a book I can read these rules in, all in one place?

Just asking. Seems like a lot of rules, just to keep those silly atheists from winning logical arguments.