The right to be religious

[rug]

BY LEORA EISENBERG • OCTOBER 16, 2016

Family gatherings suck because someone always mentions God.

The food is mediocre, the family overbearing, and the relatives argumentative. There is an abundance of cheek-pinches, sloppy kisses and hugs I don’t want. I grin and bear it, though, because these people are my family, and they want the best for me.

Except for when it comes to the yearly “God-Is-Dead” argument. My cousin assumes the role of Nietzsche and announces that God (or religion) is dead. She announces that theists, myself included, are intellectual sellouts. I have nothing to offer to any familial discussion because I believe in God. My values must be skewed. I must be living in a different century. I must not have a brain.

“So, Leora,” she begins, “didn’t you get the memo that God isn’t real?”

http://dailyprincetonian.com/opinion/2016/10/the-right-to-be-religious/

[vlyons]

1. You need to set some boundaries

Don't stand there silently. Tell her that you will no longer tolerate her disrespect for you. She's free to believe as she pleases, but she is not free to give you unsolicited spiritual advice. Tell her that you will no longer tolerate her insulting your religious beliefs. If she wants to have a good relationship with you, she will give you the space to practice as you please. Then turn on your heel and walk away. Whenever she starts up with the God is Dead stuff, just turn your back and walk away. She only does this to you to get your goat and make you wrong.

If she seriously respected you, she would not say hurtful things to you. But you have to stand up for yourself, and do it calmly without anger, and with grace.

[Freddie]

2. My son is an atheist

And the rest of the family is various degrees of mildly religious or not. They can all STFU for *1 minute* when I say grace at the holiday meal. (They do.)

[Lordquinton]

7. How about you show some respect

And not say grace for one year?

[Brettongarcia]

3. Should atheists always STFU?

What would be the proper time to express their sincerely held views to friends and family?

[rug]

4. Somewhere between rice pudding and going home.

[LakeArenal]

6. Nobody needs to talk about anything.

It's not anyone's business.

When will everyone realize that family reunions are the last place to discuss anything of importance.

If you are strong in your beliefs then you shouldn't feel the need to let anyone know anything.

I have a friend whose name is close to an LGBT slur. They call him this name a lot. He doesn't care. He knows he's not gay or L B or T. He knows who he is. Doesn't rise to the bait. My husband learned a lot from him about being comfortable in your own skin.

Leora's family member is a baiter. Wants to rile things up. You don't need to make a big values statement. Just point out that you are there to see family not debate religion, politics, economy, war.

A place to discuss religious beliefs would be a symposium on religion. Where everyone is there to discuss that topic. Or write an op-ed to the paper. People can choose to read it or not.

Folks on both sides of the religious issues should take a cue from Mathew Chapter 6

2 Therefore when thou doest thine alms, do not sound a trumpet before thee, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and in the streets, that they may have glory of men. Verily I say unto you, They have their reward. Verily I say unto you, They have their reward.

5 And when thou prayest, thou shalt not be as the hypocrites are: for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and in the corners of the streets, that they may be seen of men. Verily I say unto you, They have their reward.

That goes for the atheists as well. Keep it to yourself. Nobody should care and if they do, you shouldn't.

If anyone cares what I group I fall into... Thanks for your interest.