Welcome to DU! The truly grassroots left-of-center political community where regular people, not algorithms, drive the discussions and set the standards. Join the community: Create a free account Support DU (and get rid of ads!): Become a Star Member Latest Breaking News General Discussion The DU Lounge All Forums Issue Forums Culture Forums Alliance Forums Region Forums Support Forums Help & Search

Cartoonist

(7,314 posts)
Wed May 1, 2019, 03:30 PM May 2019

Arranged Marriages

I think this is wrong. Anyone disagree?

My own objection has nothing to do with religion. I think I first formed this opinion in kindergarten. I was probably sweet on a girl and my mind worked out all the possibilities I knew of at that young age. I'm not interested in cultural excuses or anything else that denies people their own choice in this matter.

Now that I've said that, what about Eve?
And what about the Virgin Mother? That wasn't an arranged marriage, that was an arranged pregnancy.

6 replies = new reply since forum marked as read
Highlight: NoneDon't highlight anything 5 newestHighlight 5 most recent replies

Soph0571

(9,685 posts)
1. A question I asked a couple of years ago.....
Wed May 1, 2019, 03:34 PM
May 2019

Cultures all over the world have a myriad of reasons for marrying. Some marry to consolidate wealth. Some marry because tradition dictates that parents choose the spouse of their issue. Some marry to escape poverty, or their country of origin. Some marry to produce the next generation. In the west we tend to marry for love. Well either that or we settle for the next best thing. But is marrying for love any better than marrying for security, or friendship, or to protect the cultural norms of the society you come from? Have we in the West got it right? Or does the arranged marriage work just as well, or maybe even better? Or have we moved beyond allowing others to decide our fate and therefore a higher divorce rate is worth it?

I think it is a very complex issue

Cartoonist

(7,314 posts)
3. I don't object to financial reasons or many others.
Wed May 1, 2019, 03:40 PM
May 2019

As long as the decision is made by the two getting married.

safeinOhio

(32,661 posts)
5. I've had friends from the MiddleEast that were in
Wed May 1, 2019, 05:06 PM
May 2019

arranged marriages. Most of them told me it worked out way better than they ever expected and fell in love later. I'd bet my parents would have made better choices for me than I did.

marble falls

(57,063 posts)
2. Its none of my business of what goes on in another country so long as there is no force ...
Wed May 1, 2019, 03:38 PM
May 2019

placed on either or all parties.

no_hypocrisy

(46,068 posts)
4. I am the second generation result of an arranged marriage.
Wed May 1, 2019, 04:21 PM
May 2019

My grandmother came to this country from Lithuania with her parents. Less than 10 years later, they were both dead. She lived with her older brother, who also had a wife, a baby, and another on the way. It was decided (without her) that she had to leave via marriage. She was 19.

Her brother convinced a man who was already engaged to be married -- 3 1/2 years to be exact. The promise was to be brought into his successful retail business if he left his fiancee high and dry and if this man immediately married my grandmother. A deal was made.

Without telling his fiancee -- and her discovering the truth the day of the marriage -- this man married my grandmother, who, BTW, didn't want to get married in the first place.

The fiancee sued for Breach of Promise as her marketability on the marriage scene was greatly scarred. The brother of the fiancee committed suicide in the "men's toilet" of the department store owned by my grandmother's brother. And my grandmother gave birth 10 months after the marriage.

Not a love story. It was 1904 and lots of immigrants were doing the same thing. But so much sadness woven into my family.

Latest Discussions»Issue Forums»Religion»Arranged Marriages