Can we talk about RIP? (rant)

[NJCher]

Notice how, whenever anyone dies, threads are full of "RIP, (insert name of person who crossed over here)." Doesn't matter where--can be here, the NY Daily News, wherever. People just love to say "RIP" on death threads.

RIP--like the person is taking a long dirt nap and deserves a nice rest in all that dirt.

Which, we all know here, is pretty much B.S. Anyone who wants to learn about what happens when someone dies can find out easy enough and if they don't, it's probably sheer lack of curiosity that keeps them RIPin' away on the internet.

Really aggravates me. I think it annoys me because a) it's an easy thing to say, and b) it shows the person has absolutely nada, zero, zilch, nothing of interest to say about the afterlife.

And I'm not going to condescend to the idea that "nobody knows" what happens when we cross over and that I should be tolerant of other peoples' views on the afterlife. Eff that.

Yes, we do know what happens, or at least we have a good idea of it. Care to put some work, time, and effort into humankind's greatest question? Anyone can know.

Better yet, if the person has even a scintilla of aptitude, they can have some experiences with those who have crossed over.

But oh no, that's far too difficult.

Easier to type "RIP" and call it a day.



Cher


p.s. what set me off was the James Garner thread.

[get the red out]

1. I am right with you, Cher

And I've seen worse! Someone corrected a poster on the use of the word "souls" when commenting what a tragedy it was that so many souls were lost on the plane being shot down last week. He said "there are no souls, they are just dead". WTF? Some people can't even have respect for those who have different thoughts on the subject, they feel the need to STOP ALL AFTERLIFE THINKING wherever possible.

Thanks for posting this, I have read so much on this subject, and I need to go back and read more. I get tired of having to be so careful of expressing what I think and have learned regarding the subject. But with someone passes over, I always try to post thoughts for the family, they are the ones left with a void in place of the presence of a loved one.

I don't think like the "big three" world religions, and I am not an atheist or agnostic; so outcast I am, but I can't "believe" something just to appease someone.

[Cleita]

2. A Catholic prayer for funerals states,

"May perpetual light shine upon him/her/them."

I always liked that but it seems a little too much to use around a mostly non-Catholic society.

[orleans]

3. since you mentioned this:

"if the person has even a scintilla of aptitude, they can have some experiences with those who have crossed over"

i've been debating where to post this--i usually post things like this in the bereavement forum but...? think i'll post it here instead.

so the other night, experiencing a major low and sadness over missing my mom, i decided to have a talk with her. it was about 2:40 am and i sat down on the couch across from her apparently empty chair and cried and talked to her until after three o'clock in the morning.

i talked about how lonely i am without her, how i love her so much and miss her beyond words. i talked about how, for the last four years, i have assumed her to be the calming influence when i start losing my mind over her, and that she has been a reassuring voice in my head and because of that my perception of her has been that she is really okay with everything. and i told her it has only been lately that it has occurred to me that when i fall into my deep abyss and cry desperately for her that maybe she cries too--maybe she isn't as calm and okay as i have thought--maybe she cries sometimes when she sees me going off the deep end because her heart breaks for me.

and i told her i wonder if she's even around tonight. was the spell of her powder that i walked through each time i went up and down the hallway earlier all just in my head? because i haven't smelled that for quite awhile now. and i told her there haven't been any signs from her in a long time. i wondered aloud if she has gone off, finding better things to do than hang around here and watch me in my states of sadness. the idea that she is moving on from me and forgetting about me is so devastating i can't even begin to express it.

i told her how i would love to see her--and that there is a major irony here. because i have read that when children see ghosts it is usually an adult who tells them there is no such thing, and that can't be, etc. and when i was little and saw my great aunt, it was my mother who told me i couldn't have seen her, that she wasn't really there, etc. etc. so the irony is that the one person who i long to see so very much is the same person who might have taken that ability away from me! and if she wants me to see her, then she is probably kicking herself for what happened when i was a kid. but at that time--who knew? she was comforting me, doing her best to console me because i was so upset and scared by the experience. she was reassuring. she tried to be reasonable. she took a lot of my fear away.

i begged her for another sign. please--just to let me know. walking through clouds of her scented powder in the hallway didn't seem enough. i wanted more. please, mommy. please.

eight hours later i pull into the gas station for cigarettes. my usual two parking spaces are blocked by a truck so i pull up alongside a gas pump. i get out, go around the front of the pump and go into the store. when i come out i go around the back of the pump and i see, on the ground, by my back door, the "sign": a large, silver paperclip (signifying a running joke her and i had for several years before she died, a "sign" i have found 39 of since she has passed--plus a large blue one which i count as a sign since blue was her favorite color.) the 40th large, silver paperclip! as i reached down and picked it up i was so happy i started to cry.

so--regarding the rest in peace business: my mom might have rested a bit but overall, considering all the other signs she has given me, she has worked pretty hard, off and on, to reassure me and let me know she is still with me. and for that i am so grateful because i cannot imagine my life without her in it.

[NJCher]

4. connecting

Congratulations on connecting with your mom

I am trying to remember where I read that an element in paranormal communication is emotion. It seems that strong emotion facilitates communication with those who have crossed over. When I think of the source for this information, I will come back and post it. It's starting to come back to me, but it's not clear yet.

In your post, you tell how much you missed your mom. That was probably the emotion that facilitated the connection with her. One would like to think it's the strong desire to connect, but I don't think that's it. I think it's a) the emotion involved and b) the ability to interpret the message, as you were able to with the scent of the powder and topped off with the paper clip.

I often wonder how frustrating it must be for the person on the other side when the incarnated person doesn't get the message. It certainly does happen, even with very smart people. If they are not attuned, they will not recognize the message.



Cher

[orleans]

5. so much of what i have read

these past several years usually says grief blocks our ability of communication with those on the other side. now, granted, i have not "seen" her but i think that ability is lost in childhood. however, if i was to start listing all the signs and messages i have gotten from her it would almost be unbelievable (even for those who do believe). and i've gotten them in spite of my grief.

[dflprincess]

6. Before my brother died I told him to send me some kind of sign

and to make it as obvious as he could because a picture falling over or something like that wouldn't really mean much to me.

About 3 months after he died, I was cleaning the change out of the bottom of my purse and dropped one penny. The penny landed face side down so I could see it was a wheat penny so I decided to check how old it was. It was a 1955D. My brother was born in '55 and his name started with 'D'.

Also, several of his grandchildren, all under the age of 5 reported chats they had with grandpa in the first couple years after he died. The last one happened a little over a year ago. My nephew was holding his 9 month old and the little guy kept staring at the corner of the room - where there was nothing - and laughing. He said to the baby "what are you laughing at?" And the four year old said, "Oh, it's just Grandpa. He likes to make Tommy laugh when he visits."

But I have not heard anything from my mom who died a year after my brother and I really wish I would.

[orleans]

7. i absolutely love this story about the two kids & what the 4 yr. old said!

and the penny seems like it was a message of hello from your brother. of course, the other message from your brother is the simple fact that your nephew told you what the kids were doing and saying. even though it's indirect--it's still letting you know he's around.

[dflprincess]

8. My brother was not always the best father when his kids were younger

he wised up after his marriage broke up and especially after he found out he had cancer he really tried to make amends to his kids - fortunately he was successful with this.

I think his grandchildren (not just the two I mentioned) seeing and hearing from him was meant more as a message to his kids that he was still there for them - but little kids are just so much more receptive than adults I think that's why he went through the little ones. The first time one of them had a message was just a few weeks after he died. My niece could hear her daughter, who had just turned three, talking in her room. My niece assumed she was just speaking to her dolls but Ky came downstairs and said to her mom, "You don't have to feel sad about Grandpa. He's in Heaven and he's happy, I know because he just told me."

(Now, what was meant by heaven is open to discussion, but I'm guessing he was just using terms that a little girl could relate to, I don't think it necessarily means what we were taught in Catechism.)

[orleans]

9. about the term "heaven"

i think it is used simply because the message that gets across is of a better place or a nice place or a happy place and the spirit of the individual still exists and lives on. and yes, it is a word children are usually familiar with.

something similar happened to me when i was little. i saw my grandma's sister only it really frightened me. both my mom and grandma were home when it happened and because i was so freaked out there was no doubt in their minds that what i was describing to them actually happened.

for years my mom & i tried to figure out why my great aunt had come back to me and it's only been the last few years that i've concluded it was because i was young enough to still see her and i was able to pass along the fact that she showed up and talked to me to my grandma (her sister) and that the message (that she continued to exist) was given to her sister (my grandma--because when they were younger they used to go to mediums together & get readings so i think she wanted my grandma to know that all of what they were into and believed when they were younger was true and real.)