My husband died Jan 14
I posted in the bereavement group, but it is rather a sparse group.
We were married for 35 years. He had a serious heart condition and died in his sleep. It was sudden.
I'm feeling numb. In fact, I'm really doing OK. Is this normal?
= new reply since forum marked as read
As for what is "normal," that really shouldn't concern you. Everyone grieves in their own way, in their own time.
Very sorry for your loss and the sudden shock.
The thing I remember most about grieving, is that the phase some folks call 'denial' is really just 'rest' from the often overwhelming work of processing.
I hope you can find a real live, in person, support group. I only have 20 years with this spouse and shockingly numb, I'm sure, would be one of my first responses. (We had a recent scare and a lot of deaths in our peer group. Death has been a big topic in our home lately.)
I agree with the other post that said Don't worry about being So called "Normal"
You will process and Grieve You're Husbands death in you're own time and you're own way. Please know that we are all here for you Pink Tiger.
If there is ANYTHING I can do for you Please don't hesitate to ask. Sending Love/light
TYY
Don't know about 'normal,' Tiger, but I suspect your 'calm' reaction is among many which people commonly feel. Please don't worry about it, live with it, breathe with it, and be thankful that you and he are both at peace.
Your feelings are normal. Numb is protection from shock and pain. As others have written, your feelings will likely fluctuate. Find a face-to-face group, and always feel free to post in here.
There is nothing abnormal concerning your feelings.
Dying in your sleep is how I would want to go through transition. One dream state into another.
I am 100% sure he experienced the Love and Light that I have been researching concerning NDE.
I am hoping his transition is an easy one, and that you will be able to recognize the signs when he comes to visit you. In the meantime, much love and big hugs during this very difficult time.
It sounds normal, but I am so sorry. Please accept my condolences. I am sure over time your emotions and outlook will be changing, and I think you can expect both good times and bad emotionally. {hugs}
Whatever you are feeling is perfectly normal, especially feeling numb.
Sending you infinite hugs of support and condolence....
I am sorry Pink Tiger.
Don't think there is any such thing as "normal" when dealing with this kind of loss. Each of us has our own ways of coping. If he had a serious heart condition, you have probably conditioned yourself to expect this for some time. You may have been dealing w/it on a subconscious level for quite a while. The fact that he died in his sleep is a blessing for both of you. May be his way of helping you get through this period easier. What a loving gift he gave. If he was suffering, then his passing would be a relief for both of you, too. Sometimes release from this world is actually a positive thing for those concerned. The numb feeling may be shock. There may be a delayed reaction, but I'd meditate on it and ask for the answer. He will let you know in his own way, as your higher self will, too.
Take care of yourself & make sure to continue social contacts, they will help you carry on in this world & give you a support system.
Love, light & peace to you.
There is probably little that anyone can say to help at this point, but please know that I'll carry you in my heart during this difficult time. Peace to you.
As for feeling numb, that sounds perfectly reasonable. You've been through a lot in the last two weeks and it makes sense that your system would need some "down time" to recover a bit. Nature has its ways of protecting us, and if you feel numb then trust that it is how you "need" to feel right now--ok?
Laura
So sorry to hear that you lost him, PinkTiger.
I suppose you'll go through the stages of grief, as they call them. Numbness is one of them, maybe giving you time to be strong and process?
Hope you have a good day today
I'll light a candle for you tonight. God bless you....You and your family will be in my prayers.
I'm sorry for your loss. Bereavement has its own timetable and you are allowed to feel how you feel.
for your loss.
I think the numbness you are experiencing is a blessing. And you are completely normal. Grief comes in many stages, feeling numb is part of it.
... as long as it is not permanent.
what a hard time it must be. and the best i can offer is condolences and the seemingly hollow advice to 'flow and embrace.' cold comfort, but what else is adequate?
/sending you love and light
I wanted to check in with you. This first year is so strange and difficult. I wanted to let you know that you are loved and not alone.
My best friend went a bit overboard when her husband suddenly died; and while he left he with a comfortable amount of money, she is now rather broke. Please breathe before any decision for awhile. I can only imagine the pain that you are in; but no amount of doing will bring him home. Please care for yourself. Be gentle, don't rush.
