A Sit-Down With God - A review of David Gregory's memoir
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The memoir of David Gregory, the former host of NBC’s “Meet the Press,” is a chronicle of his attempt to come to grips with a kind of spiritual crisis, one that leads him to explore his past, question certain assumptions about himself and explore the nature of religious belief.
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It was with the birth of those children that Mr. Gregory’s real spiritual journey began. He is Jewish, and his wife is Methodist. He did not have much of a religious upbringing, he says: His mother was Catholic, and his father was what one might call a cultural Jew. When Mr. Gregory was in his mid-20s, he could feel that something was missing, and he started wondering how to engage more with Judaism. By the time he met his wife, he hadn’t made much progress. Even so, he writes, “I’d always assumed I would raise my kids Jewish. It felt like a core principle of who I am. It was strange to realize how vital this was to me, given that I wasn’t especially observant.”
It is perhaps also strange that his wife agreed to this “core principle,” given that she was herself a church-going Christian. “Beth could tell I was not going to compromise readily, so she agreed to raise our children Jewish.” And she insisted they do it right: “We need to have a deep commitment to belief,” she said, “not just culture. It has to be about more than being Jewish as a people.”
Many wives in interfaith couples—even more than husbands—are eager to see their children brought up in a religious tradition and make similar demands on their spouses when one faith yields to another. Suddenly nonobservant husbands find themselves celebrating Shabbat or going to synagogue. Mr. Gregory started looking for a Jewish community to become a part of. But he also wanted to focus “on the aspects of Judaism that are more universal”—to find, in a sense, a more Christian way of being Jewish.
When George W. Bush heard from a mutual acquaintance that Mr. Gregory had joined a Bible-study group, he asked him: “How’s your faith?” Mr. Gregory replied that he was trying to become closer to God. In his memoir, Mr. Gregory recounts Mr. Bush’s dramatic religious journey—giving up alcohol and accepting Jesus on the morning of his 40th birthday. One senses that Mr. Gregory longs for a similar tale, something remarkable and transformative.
Meanwhile, he wonders why Jews don’t talk about spirituality the way Christians do. (Jews don’t ask each other, “How’s your faith?”) It would be easier if they did, he thinks, not only for him personally but also for his marriage. His wife speaks the language of spiritual longing, but the Jewish texts that Mr. Gregory studies with Erica Brown, a modern Orthodox tutor, are rooted in rules, conduct and ritual.
“Why is it,” he asks during a tutorial session, “that most Jews don’t think about grace and otherworldliness as Christians do, or about relating in a personal way to God?” Ms. Brown replies that “because of the history of exile, modern Judaism has been consumed with the right way to live. Jews see themselves as being agents for justice and decent living.” That sounds universal enough, but the laws that observant Jews follow—keeping kosher, not driving on the Sabbath—do not seem to Mr. Gregory to be habits that can be universally adopted. At one point, his wife becomes concerned that he has stopped eating pork and warns him that he was “starting down a path that made her feel left out.”
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In the end, she does feel left out, even though she was the one who insisted that the Judaism of her household be serious and not merely “cultural.” She also expresses regret about not sharing her own faith with her children. Mr. Gregory relents, letting her take them to church. He is determined to bridge this divide although it is clear that, in this matter, he and his wife are far from resolving their differences.
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For the most part, the journey chronicled in “How’s Your Faith?” seems genuine and deeply felt. In addition to seeking out Mr. Moore, the Baptist pastor, Mr. Gregory speaks to Cardinal Timothy Dolan, the archbishop of New York, and Tim Keller, a Presbyterian theologian, as well as other religious leaders. And it appears, at least in his telling, that he has become a better person as a result of his explorations. He is slower to anger and faster to apologize. He forgives his mother for her behavior during his childhood. His journey began in gratitude, he says, but he feels that he has even more to be thankful for now.
http://www.wsj.com/articles/a-sit-down-with-god-1442441338