I have a very serious question to ask that I've never gotten a satisfying answer to

[Arcanetrance]

A little background on my self I am half Jewish my father is Jewish and my mother is Italian. Now my father comes from a very conservative family who basically have never accepted my sister or I. When I asked my grandfather why he was never very kind to us he said he disliked the fact we weren't Jewish your italian. My response was I am half Jewish but he continued with his thoughts. Anyway my question is and I really don't know how to have it properly how can one be part of said ethnicity but being told you don't belong to it.

[Behind the Aegis]

1. Judaism is matrilineal.

Of course, that is according to the religion itself. Mixed families can be tricky with Jews. If the mother is not Jewish and doesn't convert before children are born, then the children aren't considered Jewish as far as religion is concerned. However, in the ethnic sense, you are Jewish, at least half Jewish.

Were you raised as a Jew? If not, then that can also be a sore spot with your grandfather.

[Arcanetrance]

2. No my father would hold passover seder and we would celebrate both chanukah and Christmas

But out of respect to my mother who was Roman Catholic my dad allowed us to be raised that way but currently I'm an atheist

[Behind the Aegis]

3. Ethnically, you are Jewish, but religiously, no, you are not.

Many use the religious part to determine the ethnicity, but it really doesn't work that way.

[Arcanetrance]

4. Ah I've just been trying to learn more about that half but whenever I ask a question

The response is don't worry about it your not Jewish anyway. So I guess it confuses me because it seems like he can't separate the religious part from anything else. So I was curious if the two were so intertwined you really can't or if this is just a hang up he has

[Behind the Aegis]

5. No offense, but it sounds as if he is being a butthole.

I know this will sound ugly, but in Nazi Germany, you would have suffered like any religious Jew...PERIOD! It is also a problem in Israel. There are many who go back and forth on the issue. The debate rages that Jews aren't even an ethnic group, well, until they need someone to substantiate their anti-Semitism, then even the slightest drop of blood and the person is magically a Jew. From my own research and studies, Jews can be ethnically, religiously, or both in regards to being Jewish.

What questions do you have? If I can't answer them, someone here might be able to do so, or at least point you in the right direction.

[Arcanetrance]

6. It's more family type stuff who we are where we came from

Like the Jewish side came from Hungary why are there so many Jewish people that live in Easten Europe as a people we are supposed to be from a land closer to Egypt why did so many choose to settle so far away. Weird questions I guess

[Behind the Aegis]

7. I can't help with the personal info without, well, personal info. LOL!

However, you can look up information on Jews in Hungary, including a list of names, and that can possible help you discover your roots. It can be tricky because Magyar (Hungarian) is a very tricky language.

Jews were forced out of our homeland by the Romans, so we ended up scattered across the world. Look up "Jewish Diaspora." Some went north (Europe), some went west (Northern Africa and the Iberian peninsula), and some went east (Persia, India, and China). Each group has different names, but the vast majority of Jews were displaced from Israel eons ago.

[Arcanetrance]

8. See this is where a sore subject comes in

With Jewish people scattered like they were after being ejected. How can there be a claim to a piece of land in the state of Israel if we hadn't lived there really in thousands of years. But also wouldn't also mean some of the people that live in that area that call themselves Palestinians and are Muslims could have at one point in the past been Jews themselves.

[Behind the Aegis]

9. It is a sticky wicket, so be very cautious on how you proceed.

It would be similar if the US set up a Cherokee homeland back in Georgia. It is where we originally came from, but how to resettle us in area already inhabitable would be chaotic. The reason Jews can claim Israel is because Israel is now a country, no matter what anyone claims. How it came to be so is worthy of discussion, but Israel exists.

Palestinians are not only Muslims. Judaism predates Islam by thousands of years. So, yes, it is always possible some of the current residents were at some point Jews way back in the day, but that is now as irrelevant as saying we are all African. Pre-Muslims were likely pagans or even Christians before Islam came into being. Palestinians, however, are Arabs, like Lebanese, Syrians, or Jordanians. At one point, Jews were also Palestinians.

[Mosby]

15. because Jews never abandoned Israel

Last edited Thu Mar 13, 2014, 09:10 PM - Edit history (1)

Jews have lived in Israel and the Levant continuously for thousands of years, it is our ancestral homeland.

Though at times the Jewish community in eretz Yisrael (greater Israel) was small, immigration picked up in the 12th century and if not for the Arab revolt and riots and other events the Jewish population in 1947 would have been much, much higher.

[merrily]

10. Not a reason to withhold affection from one's own grandchildren.

They had a lot less say about the marriage and how they were raised than their grandfather did.

I agree with you: the answer in this instance seems to be buttholism, not Judaism.

[Shrike47]

11. It appears that you are not technically Jewish, but your grandfather is going out of his way to

exclude you. Not much you can do about that.

I just wish I had some grandchildren. I would try hard to make it work.

[WinkyDink]

12. I'd ask him what did he expect from marrying (?) your mother.

[LuvNewcastle]

13. I'm sorry your grandfather treats you that way, but I think

that his attitude is no worse than some people of other ethnicities. Granted, I haven't known many Jewish people in my life because of where I live, but I've seen the same sort of attitudes from white and black sides of a family toward the children, as well as a few different Asian nationalities. You just can't please some people. Some people have it in their head that their race or ethnicity is special and should be kept 'pure' from intermarriage with other groups. It's silly, and it's bigoted.

[Madam Mossfern]

14. Your grandfather is wrong.

According to the Reconstructionist and Reform movements, you can be considered Jewish if EITHER of your parents are Jewish. My grandchildren are half Catholic and half Jewish. My grandson had a Brit Milah and my granddaughter will have her 'naming' this spring. On another note, they were both baptized as well. I told my son that if we don't believe in it, then no big deal. It calmed my daughter-in-laws mind who in some way still felt that her children's souls needed protection.

My son and his wife had choices. Neither of them are religious but out of respect for their parents wanted their children to be knowledgeable of both faiths. I found a rabbi that would marry them who had a Franciscan priest who also officiated. It was a beautiful ceremony. I think the grandparents who are a bit miffed are the Catholic ones.

Your grandfather is just a jerk.

BTW, I was president of a Conservative synagogue.