The Most Inappropriate Song About Abstinence You’ll Hear All Day

[Ian David]

The Most Inappropriate Song About Abstinence You’ll Hear All Day

There’s nothing safe for work about this song.

You hear me?

Not. Safe. For. Work.

But it’s Garfunkel and Oates so you know it’s hilarious. They sing about a loophole to abstinence that Jesus himself would surely approve of…:

More:
http://www.patheos.com/blogs/friendlyatheist/2013/01/18/the-most-inappropriate-song-about-abstinence-youll-hear-all-day/

[MountainLaurel]

1. I loved this

Even though it did make me spray iced coffee all over my work at 8:30 this morning.

[FiveGoodMen]

2. !

[OriginalGeek]

3. You had me at inappropriate

But once I saw it was the young lady from Raising Hope there was no way I was backing out...she is hilarious on RH. I didn't know she had a duo going though..she plays a lot of ukulele songs on RH.

[progressoid]

4. "I do whatever the Bible tells me to"

I do whatever the Bible tells me to
Except for the parts that I choose to ignore
Because they're unrealistic and inconvenient
But the rest, I live by for sure
So let's not talk about how the good book
Bans shellfish, polyester and divorce
And how it condones slavery and killing gays
Because those parts don't count of course
Let's cherry pick the part about losing my cherry
And ? for ambiguities and omissions
And circumvent any real sacrifice
And still feel pious in my arbitrary parroted positions
And don't you dare question my convictions
And don't look closely at the contradictions
Just focus on the sacrificial crucifixion
And have faith in its complete jurisdiction
It's the only way to measure if you're good or not
And when you're in a debate, just say to have faith
Because when up against logic it's the only card you've got
So close your eyes
Take a deep breath
And
Fuck me in the ass because I love Jesus
The good lord would want it that way
Give me that sweet sensation of irrational rationalization
It's just between you and me
Because everyone knows it's the sex that God can't see
Yeah, my chastity belt has locks
So sometimes you need to think outside the box

[uriel1972]

11. heh

I am reminded of "Meet the Feebles" and the fox's song about the merits of sodomy.

[Warren DeMontague]

5. Funny.

[awoke_in_2003]

6. I remember Bill Maher...

reporting five years or so ago that, because of virginity pledges, oral and anal was real popular among teens. He asked "where were these pledges when I was a teen?"

[mr blur]

7. This belongs in Religion, surely?

[Ian David]

8. I haven't had any threads locked in a long time. Why don't YOU post it? :P n/t

[mr blur]

9. I thought about it, but

I'm not quite ready to be banned from there just yet.

[deucemagnet]

10. I don't understand why Riki Lindhome never gets more than supporting roles in TV and movies.

What an underrated talent.