The road from religiosity to atheism has been difficult for me...and perhaps others.

[jamesatemple]

When I was a child, I'd ask mom about god, "Where did god come from?". Her answer to this and other such questions was, "There are some things that must be accepted by faith and are not to be questioned". But to ask a reasoning mind not to reason is unreasonable. So, as the years passed, I vacillated between acceptance and doubt about religion, never having the comfort of discussions with like-minded friends, family, or strangers. Then, I began to learn a bit about the thoughts of some of my early childhood heroes, particularly the philosophy of Mark Twain. Finally, I met a colleague where I was working who was an unapologetic atheist and a wonderful family man whose demeanor and actions were considered admirable by all who knew him.

Slowly, I learned that other folks, from all walks of life, had adopted a life sans deity. Now, as I read the words of some of the most knowledgeable men and women of the sciences and arts, as well as those of ordinary laypeople like myself, I am at peace with myself. I've come to one basic opinion: Atheists can live honorable lives without the promise of eternal reward or the fear of eternal punishment.
It seems such a simple idea that the conclusion masks all the trials and tribulations undergone to arrive at it.

[AtheistCrusader]

1. This took me a while to learn.

I used to think the 'fallen out of faith' thing was a strawman the religious would use to paint atheists as believers that were simply rebelling against or angry at their god. I didn't know many atheists of any type when I was growing up. Had no mentors, no guidance, no examples. Just an invisible minority. I was an aberration that simply existed. No rhyme or reason.

It was much later in life, that I discovered that my path through life was much, much different from most atheists. In many ways, I think my path was easier. How I ended up on it, I do not know. But I am grateful my parents didn't inflict their faith on me, and they let me find my own path.

My path may have been lonely, but it was incredibly easy. It left me in a state where I never, not once, questioned my self-purpose or self-worth in life. The vacillation you describe, I never had to wrestle with at all.


I look at what people I know, people I care about, have been put through by doubt, sown by some element or another of their former faith, and it makes me angry. I know people that suffered crippling self-doubt, told over an over, that they were sinners, unworthy, that their lives were planned out, that some magical superman was placing 'obstacles' in their way, as their lives came apart, 'to better them' or for 'mysterious ways', etc.

It makes me very angry.


I'm glad that you've arrived at a state that you are pleased with, but I am sorry you had to fight so hard to get there. I do what I can to make sure other people don't have to walk that path at all.

[Cartoonist]

2. Brainwashing is very effective

For many, their religion is chosen for them before they are born. While growing up, their faith is constantly reinforced. For many, this means institutionalized instruction such as parochial schools or Sunday school. Opposing viewpoints are kept hidden, and exposure to them is treated as a sin.

I've been there. Was sent to a Catholic school. The conversion from believer to atheist only began when I started public school. It took several years of self doubt to overcome the brainwashing. Some people are never able to free themselves. I try to make myself available to sheperd the flock away from their masters, but I know my methods are frowned on by some.

[FiveGoodMen]

3. If you haven't read the bible from cover to cover (like a novel)

I -- sort of -- recommend it.

Not a fun read, but makes it a whole lot easier to discount the faith when you see what it's really based on.

[AtheistCrusader]

4. It's about as much fun as reading The Silmarillion, and for the same reason.

[FiveGoodMen]

5. Good point!

[trotsky]

6. I wholly concur with this suggestion.

There were many factors that played into my transition from believer to atheist, but reading the ENTIRE bible, cover to cover, was possibly the most significant.

[Warpy]

8. That did it for my mother, too, and it was pretty funny to watch

"This crock of shit is what's been held over my head all my life?" I don't think she ever set foot in a church again.

[RebelOne]

9. My father, an atheist, said he had read the bible 7 times

from cover to cover, and said that it consisted of contemporary novels of those times.

[Warpy]

7. I know I felt awful when I was ten and knew nobody was at the other end of the prayer line

since people who didn't go to church were angry, miserable people who were mad at god. I wasn't mad at a god, I just didn't think there was one out there.

At twelve, I discovered Bertrand Russell (precocious brat) and learned that a lot of people had realized the Sunday school god was a pile of crap. At that point, I felt a hell of a lot better.

It's normal for newly minted atheists to be angry, angry at the bullying, angry at the pretense, angry at the hypocrisy, angry at the colossal waste of human time and effort to support such a ridiculous fantasy, angry at the loss of community since anyone who knows will shun us. Eventually we just get tired of being angry and regard the whole business with bemused contempt while everybody around us struggles to keep the fantasy going.

My mother once asked me if there was anything constructive I learned from Catholic school. I said yeah, rank hypocrisy is the secret for getting through life. Her jaw dropped, then she shut her mouth, then said I had done well.

[Silent3]

10. I don't remember a particular moment that I stopped believing.

I was raised Roman Catholic, but a fairly liberal version of Catholicism. At least in the case of my father, liberal didn't mean lax. He took his faith pretty seriously -- he just wasn't very doctrinaire, didn't believe in hell (at least not an eternal damnation kind of hell), always said that God cared more about thoughts and deeds that doctrines and rituals. My mother didn't talk much about religion. I think she just went along with going to church out of habit or obligation.

I was an altar boy for a couple of years. Not too long after that, however, I lost interest in even going to church, and once I was in high school (maybe even sooner -- my memory is a bit fuzzy on that) my parents left it up to me if I went to church or not. I chose not.

The idea of God simply grew more and more abstract to me over time until, I suppose, any God that I could believe in was so free of distinct features that it didn't really warrant being called God anymore.

I called myself an agnostic for a long time, however, because I'd been raised to think of the word "atheist" as meaning not just a lack of belief in God, but an adamant denial of the existence of anything that might be called God.

That's a more extreme position than I care to take, and not one that I think is logically defensible. It was discussions here on DU a few years ago that taught me that you can be both agnostic and atheist at the same time -- that agnosticism is about knowledge, and atheism about belief.